Jack Swagger totally looks like Gary Busey

This courtesy of TotallyLooksLike.com, where, in the site’s infancy, Eric pointed out that Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force totally looks like Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. The sale of New Japan and the huge Raw rating aside, it’s a slow news day. -Eric

#PWOwrestling – Season 5 – Episode 9

"Amazing" N8 Mattson has a story to start the show.

Joe Dombrowski and Aaron Maguire kick the show off by telling us that Johnny Gargano will respond to Sex Appeal tonight. The main event is the Dead Wrestling Society (with a graphic showing Kirst & Krimson) against Aeroform (Louis Lynden & Flip Kendrick) for the PWO Tag Team Titles. Ben Fruith will also take on Brian Bender. The opener will be “Amazing” N8 Mattson with Benjamin Boone against Michael “The Bomber” Facade. Mattson comes out with a broken thumb. He blamed Aeroform for breaking it during the title match. Mattson said they’d get what is coming for them. He then said his in ring career is indefinitely on hold. Mattson said he’s going to unleash the “Big Bear” on PWO. He said that Boone will meet all of his in ring requirements. Maguire harped on Facade not being able to win the big match. Boone kept his distance while Facade threw some kicks. Boone showed off his power in collar and elbow tie ups. Satellite head scissors by Facade started his offense. Facade tried to leap frog Boone but he was still standing up. (I’m thinking that botch was on Boone. I have no idea though.) Facade Pele Kicked Boone to the outside. Facade sling shotted over the ropes but fell short. Boone picked him up and slammed him into the post. (They’ve recovered nice from each miss.) Boone slammed him into the the ring apron. Boone rolled him back inside. A leg drop only got a two count. Boone locked in a Bear Hug. A running shoulder block by Boone got another two count. Mattson tried to get involved so Facade chased him. Boone attacked from behind. Boone missed a charge into a corner. An inverted atomic drop was followed by a heel kick. Boone went outside to recover. Facade climbed onto the entrance curtains with a cross body. He took off the gui and got Boone back into the ring. Boone kicked out of a missile drop kick. Mattson distracted the ref, Jason Gorey came out and clocked Facade with the belt. Boone splashed Facade for the three count.

Analysis: Two botches doesn’t help the quality of the match. It was wrestled well aside from the noted mistakes and booked nicely with Gorey helping out Boone who couldn’t really lose just getting back into the singles ranks. Facade looked like he was going to win so it worked out in the end. Score: 0.

Kirst was outside for his promo while it was snowing. He told Greg (Iron) that their mother’s both were drug addicts. Kirst said that both of their father’s were bad. Kirst said that he was at the same show that CM Punk lauded Greg. He said he’s going to give him a real disability, broken legs. Analysis: That was pretty solid. It gave him a good reason outside of just being “evil” to hate Iron. Score: +1.

“Sassy” Stephie said she is excited to make her long awaited return to PWO & STO. She said she’ll make Veda Scott kiss her “Sass”. Analysis: I would have bought it if she had more gusto. I was quite surprised by her red hair. Score: 0.

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Stunt Granny Audio: Royal Rumble 2012 Review

What the hell is this? No your eyes and ears do not deceive you it is an actual pay-per-view review for the 2012 Royal Rumble. Eric and Dusty provide the entertainment with their strong opinions. Boy did they hate this show! But why? What do they feel was done poorly? What would they have done differently? Does one of them give up midway through the audio to go swinging in the barn? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Stunt Granny Show- WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Defintely Half Assed Review of #Raw

I'm going to miss hating West Virginia.

I had to watch the end of the basketball game of which there may only be one more. Pitt didn’t fair too well in the football game this year so it’s important to sweep the hoops. It’s helping to get the Panthers on track too. After an 0-7 start in the Big East, things have gone to three straight wins including one over #9 Georgetown on Saturday. They’re my only hope for a spot in the tournament. Kent State is not too fancy this year even if they did beat these same scum bags from WVU in Morgantown. Let’s roll.

I got the pay per view last night but didn’t start watching until the Funkasaurus showed up. I actually had a date and couldn’t preorder the Royal Rumble. Much like Eric, I didn’t admit that I watched wrestling. Unlike Eric, I’m not getting married in a couple of months and still hiding it. (Another note should be made, my HD feed only airs once as far as I know. The time slot was 8-11 so I couldn’t catch the earlier matches with the replay.) Jeremy predicted earlier today that the Undertaker would interrupt HHH’s evaluation of Johnny Wooden GM. I haven’t checked Twitter so I have no idea if Johnny Wooden GM starting the show off means that Trips shows up now. He seems like he’d deserve the main event. (There’s some sarcasm in that one.) Johnny announces the participants for the Elimination Chamber. Is it safe to say that Punk retains or Jericho wins? I think so. Johnny is going for the crowd pop mode for matches. CM Punk appears. Punk goes for his own version of cheap pop by chanting “Goodbye.” Punk going insider and making fun of Mitchell Cool by telling Johnny he’s a dork. Johnny gets me to track a smile by trying to shake with Punk. Daniel Bryan shows up after Punk says he’s the Best In The World. What a surreal start to Raw. Who would have thought these three would start a Raw? Bryan reminds me of Jericho bragging when he beat the Rock & Steve Austin in the same night. Oh, they’re going all in for Bryan to be a heel. Punk calls for the best match in the world. Sheamus shows up. It’ll be nice to get this announcement out of the way. I started to make this argument last night about Sheamus who evidently is considered a surprise winner last night. I’m not sure why. Him being left off of the card last year at Wrestlemania is irrelevant to me. He’s been getting as big a reaction as anyone these days except for CM Punk. No announcement, just a threat. Someone is losing their title in the mean time then. Maybe both of them.

Randy Orton comes out, in my opinion, to a smaller pop than Sheamus. I’m just saying. Wade Barrett has the Sky Box “rented”. Please admit a bit more you can’t sell out arenas any more. My boy Dolph Ziggler comes out with Vickie Guerrero. Huh, Barrett & Orton are going at it on Smackdown? Seems like a PPV match to me. No reason for them to be in the Smackdown Elmination Chamber. Or have them be in there to beat the hell out of each other and essentially eliminate each other.

Dolph gets another commercial length match. It’s just awkward that Barrett is talking the whole match. Why not just have him come down to the desk? Matthews & the box seem superfluous. JerryLawler makes my argument as soon as I’m done typed. It’s so he can stay away from Orton. Ziggler jobs clean after getting in a solid amount of offense and kicking out of some of Orton’s bigger moves.

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TNA Audio #3 – Bleep you Michigan, Wisconsin is the mitten

Ref Hardy will make a disturbing face at you if you do not listen.

Our intrepid heroes Dusty and Matt continue their slog through everything TNA, this week focusing on the January 26 edition of Impact. Included herein:

-Dusty imagines a Mike Tenay-free universe

-Someone in TNA either thinks that Eric Young is actually funny, or knows that Dusty and Matt hate him and like torturing them with him

-Why TNA needs to either shit or get off the pot when it comes to being a taped show

-Why Sting is an ineffectual authority figure

-An examination of whether even TNA knows what they’re doing with their main event scene right now

And a whole lot more nonsense, and it’s only worth an hour of your time, so you need to download this immediately, or else!


Stunt Granny TNA Audio Show #3

Stunt Granny Audio Show #173

Oh yes boys and girls its time to get that booty shaking and listen to another edition of The Stunt Granny Audio Show.  Jeremy and Kevin are on the controls this week and they get a chance to talk some wrestling. The boys discuss last week’s episode of PWO Wrestling. What worked, what didn’t and what was really annoying? How cute is Veda Scott? No really, she is adorable. Oh yeah, the guys discuss her promo so this isn’t totally out of the blue. Honest. No really. (Veda, Kevin is single…wink, wink, call him no seriously direct message me @difrango11.) Um, anyway, they also dip their toes in the WWE pool and they discuss the imminent John Cena Heel Hilarity ™. They explain this one so don’t worry about it being a ten minute bashfest. So listen up as other things are bound to come up and it will all be worth your while.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #173

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Velvet Sky is the latest to steal this iconic design.

We get review from last week then a brawl between Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray. A brawl to start this show is almost as predictable as the WWE starting with a 10-15 minute yapfest. Jeff just used a short broom. Kind of like the short bus he took to school. Nice to know there’s a storage room with all of Abyss’s goodies in it. Naturally, Bobby Roode is the only person to pull up and see this brawl happening. James Storm‘s Spidey Sense must have been tingling to let him know that Jeff was in trouble. Sting must have Spidey Sense too. He shouldn’t be attacking anyone anymore.

Velvet Sky, Tara and Mickie James are in a three way dance for a title shot. I honestly thought Mickie earned that last week. We get a commercial before much of anything happens. Wow, Tara wins after using Velvet to nail Mickie with a side slam sandwich. That was surprising. They could have used to hype her more recently. Gail Kim brags for a bit. It’s just weird that she’s looking away from the camera. I was fine with the message.

We get a replay of the opener. I hate this quick of a replay no matter what league. Hardy looks to be in really good shape. Not sure he’s ever been this toned up. Sting calls out Roode & Bully Ray. They have a mini-brawl that Sting breaks up. I can handle that. Of course the imaginary line doesn’t work. They need to get better at teasing what might happen on the show unless it was announced the week before. Tag team tables match is our main event. Alex Shelley says that Zima Ion isn’t up to snuff yet. Alex is more polished but Zima will get there if he keeps working.

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Hulk Hogan claims he was offered a spot in Metallica, I herniate myself laughing at the thought

In an interview with NME.com, world champion pro wrestler and maybe-above-average bassist Hulk Hogan claims he was very nearly a member of the band Metallica. Read on, because this is rich:

The wrestler, who stars in his own reality TV series Hogan Knows Best, said that he used to be close mates with the metal titans’ drummer Lars Ulrich during his days as a session musician.

He told The Sun: “I used to be a session musician before I was a wrestler. I played bass guitar. I was big pals with Lars Ulrich and he asked me if I wanted to play bass with Metallica in their early days but it didn’t work out.”

I don’t even know what to think of this asshole anymore. And yes, that could apply to both Hogan and Ulrich. First of all, yes, Hulk Hogan is a bass player, so I’ll immediately concede that point. Second, this story has made its rounds for about a year now, but the legend of 14 Ultimate Warriors has been around since I was 10 years old. Now’s where I start poking holes in the story. One, Metallica was based out of Los Angeles, Calif., and formed in 1981. By this time, Hogan was already a fixture in the AWA, and even though he also wrestled for New Japan and could conceivably have had a home in L.A. for easy travel, I still call bullshit. Second, by the time we know for sure Hogan made it out to Hollywood – late 1981 or early 1982 – Metallica was basically established and not looking for a $14,000-per-movie touring pro wrestler like Hogan to play bass.

Third, and most importantly, Hulk Hogan is the type of guy who would sit in an empty room and paint a face on the side of his hand with lipstick and a permanent marker just to have someone to lie to. How heavy was Andre the Giant when Hogan pressed him over his head, brother? 850 pounds? And how many people did he do it in front of? 900 infinity million, dude? To call Hogan a “consummate bullshit artist” is an insult to consummate bullshit artists; this guy is the fucking Mad Libs of cockamamie. “Yeah, brother, I was supposed to (verb) with (proper noun), but an (adjective) (noun) wouldn’t let me/wouldn’t give me the (absurd dollar figure) he should have, dude!”

So anyway, I would take this news with a grain of salt big enough to send you into cardiac arrest. I won’t believe it until Lars Ulrich himself tells me, at which point I’ll be too busy slapping him for the awful quality of “St. Anger.” -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio: Royal Rumble Preview with Travis Bryant from East Coast Cast

It’s a very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio, as the Grandkids meet the Constellinos! Travis Bryant from the PWTorch East Coast Cast joins Eric Nelson from Stunt Granny to preview the 2012 WWE Royal Rumble. Travis won last year’s Stunt Granny Royal Rumble-themed game (sign up for the 2012 edition by leaving a comment here), and our lame-ass excuse for a prize was a guest spot on Stunt Granny Audio. Travis is awesome, though, so it’s an entertaining show full of questions like: Why didn’t WWE add a Royal Rumble page to their Web site until this Tuesday? Does John Cena really need a singles match? Does that mean his opponent, Kane, probably won’t be in the Rumble, either, even though the Rumble match itself is desperately short on legitimate title contenders? What St. Louis hometown favorite will probably return just in time to win? And how exactly will CM Punk get screwed in his match against Dolph Ziggler? All that and more!

Stunt Granny Show- WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Preview

2012 Royal Rumble Random Draw Kick-Ass Pick ‘Em (Kinda) Game

We dont worry too much about copyrights around here.

Bring back the tumbler! #IWantWrestling

Remember the time when we first met, and when we did that amazing game where you all signed up, then I picked numbers from 1 to 30 out of an Iowa Barnstormers fitted cap, and whoever had the number of the man who won the Royal Rumble match got bragging rights and a kick in the head just to see if it was better than a kick in the head? Well, Stunt Granny wants to share that fun with you again! For this game (which is totally not affiliated with WWE), all you need to do is leave a comment on this post saying you’re interested in playing. DEADLINE IS 1:15 P.M. CENTRAL, SUNDAY, JAN. 29. (THIS IS A NEW DEADLINE! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES FROM THE TIME OF THIS UPDATE! I’M LEAVING FOR A FRIEND’S HOUSE FOR THE PPV!)

At that time, Eric will randomly draw numbers from 1 to 30 in the order you signed up (don’t worry, the four of us won’t play, but Dan may, for “old time’s sake,” see, because he’s our nostalgia guy). Once Eric gets to the end of the list, he’ll start from the top again, making it first-come, first-served. So if 10 people sign up, everyone gets three numbers. If 29 people sign up, everyone gets one number, but the first person to sign up gets an extra number.

Last year’s winner, Travis Bryant, had the unfortunate luck to co-host a Stunt Granny Audio with Eric… 12 months after his win. Who knows what the 2012 prize will be! So sign up today, then order the 2011 WWE Royal Rumble (we’re totally not affiliated with WWE), and take a spot on the edge of your seat!

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