Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Raw

The internet told me it was Bob Marley's post humous birthday. I would have had no idea.

I wish I had the time to review Smackdown. I did get to watch it between last night, this morning and this evening before Raw. Solid show but I’m not looking forward to sitting thru it again. On the upside, it did dawn on me that the show will be around Wrestlemania again so the storylines should be full tilt at that point. I should have bought Red Stripe to celebrate Bob’s birthday. Oh well, let’s roll. (Pun intended even if I start that way every week.)

HHH & Undertaker review starts off the show. Jerry Lawler & Mitchell Cool then give us some matches. More HHH. Trips was going to fire Johnny Wooden GM but he’s pleading his case to the board. HHH then moves on to the Undertaker. What the over/under on the amount of Iron Shiek jokes Twitter made since HHH is using “humbled” way too often? Hunter is doing a solid job to rub in his punishment of Taker. Trips turns down Taker’s challenge. He respects him to much to “break him” except without the cool Russian accent. We get our second Taker video. Cool stuff. HHH is pondering the Dead Man’s overture.

The Big Show starts off the in ring work against Daniel Bryan. AJ reluctantly comes to ring side. Cool is now running down AJ. Way to make the baby face announcer defend a heel. Idiots. Not much happened before the break. Bryan pulling out the old fake injury trick. Classic heel tactic. Big Show almost hits AJ so Bryan gets counted out walking her to the back. I love Bryan giving him an undressing. Chris Jericho is supposed to talk again. Six Pack challenge. I should call the delivery company to get some beer.

Did I miss this segment on Raw last week? John Cena is going to start the Daytona 500. Who is this joker? Oh Carl Edwards. I’m still NASCAR retarded even with the number of sports I watch. I don’t do much with motorized vehicles of any sort. Elimination Chamber hype. Eric Bischoff created it. Now he’s creating doo doo on iMPACT Wrestling.

David Otunga tebows the is ordered into a match. His gimmick of not being ready to wrestle is pretty stupid. Sheamus is his opponent. Cool defending Otunga as a better lawyer is dumb. Do you feel like just shouting “David Otunga sucks?” It’d be more effective. Squash match city.

Chris Jericho has made every other performer obsolete. He goes with the plagiarism route. I believe Eric mentioned that idea a couple of weeks ago. We’re all wanna bes. I really felt like I’d heard the promo before because Eric laid it out exactly that way. CM Punk interrupts. I dig Punk’s new shirt. Punk mockingly doesn’t say a word and leaves while Jericho bitches. Nice.

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