Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

Second review of the night.

Let’s keep rolling after a small break to watch Minnesota at Denver on the NBC Sports Network. Yep, I even watch college hockey.

Sheamus starts me off for the second part of the double header. History tells us one of the titles will change hands. Sheamus has always fought against the bullies whether it was in school or in the WWE. Wade Barrett comes out before we get a dumb Irish story. Barrett is going to win the Elimination Chamber. So, when does everyone else come down? Cody Rhodes is the next one out. Then the Big Show. I mean, what can you really say about spots like this? It does the trick but no one gets enough mic time to do much. Rhodes ripping on Show was pretty funny. Show & Sheamus toss the heels from the ring. I smell a tag team match.

For some reason, as Jinder Mahal gets worse, he gets more bullshit. We don’t care about the headdress or the plexiglass box it’s in. He takes on Khali for his spot in the EC. I hope Jeremy liked this squash match. We got replay of Mark Henry’s suspension. Aksana is hitting on Teddy when we go “live”. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Bryan goes vegan on Teddy for his barbeque party. Teddy uses JR’s sauce. Teddy does a great job. Not sure why he isn’t on Raw. He’s a babyface guy that for the most part calls it down the middle.

Beth Phoenix takes on Alicia Fox. Booker is calling Beth peerless. Did they suddenly forget about Tamina? She hits the ring to save Alicia. They have a nice little face off. The announcers are even selling a respect angle. Best Diva’s story since the original break of Kharma.

If you don’t think I FF thru the Rock review, you haven’t read this review before. Such a time saver to watch Smackdown afterwards. Natalya is getting nervous. What, they’re going with her farts really stink angle? Really, pretty much after a good Diva’s angle?

Another dumb entrance sequence. Big Show before the commercial break then Cody Rhodes, Wade Barrett & finish with Sheamus. I get it as far as popping the crowd before & after the break though. Still think it’s weird. Mitchell Cool makes a good point saying you need to believe in yourself. Booker was trying to say Cody couldn’t be dual champion. If he’s entrant #5 or #6, why wouldn’t he? Booker then says you need to believe how good you are between the ropes. Sheamus doing a roll up on Barrett was very uncharacteristic of his offense. Commercial break.

Yikes. Saw a vicious hit in the Minnesota vs Denver game. The guy is finally sitting up. Thank goodness. I didn’t know that Pen’s draft pick Beau Bennett had a tendon in his arm cut by a skate in December. Ouch. Back to Smackdown. Denver is up 4-2 with a  five minute power play coming up. Booker doesn’t think the heels will work cohesively. Glad he’s making my point from Monday. Rhodes & Barrett with a nice high low on Big Show. Rhodes nails Big Show with the Beautiful Disaster kick. I liked the Chuck kick name better. Sheamus gets the hot tag. Brogue Kick on Barrett and Sheamus keeps rolling. That’s got to make Orton feel like an idiot, right? Sheamus destroyed him.

Mitchell Cool is going to interview AJ. She wants to compete in the spring. Cool slams her for people “supporting” her. She gets sympathy boos. Why are they making her sympathetic? She goes for the kill making fun of Cool. She’s doing well. She strong arms the mic when Mitchell tries to retort. Again though, why is she being presented as a babyface? Daniel Bryan set her up. I’m just, I don’t, what the fuck? Daniel Bryan makes the save but gets, booed? I mean, should I just sit back and enjoy? Why am I getting such a kick out of the vegan character? I think the cheese factor is part of my enjoyment. Bryan is going to leave the arena to take AJ home because of her trauma. Cool is flipping out and Booker tells him to act more professional. Now, Bryan & AJ are backstage. Leave the building, lose the title. Good call again Teddy. I’m digging the suit this week.

Ted DiBiase takes on Hunico with his man bitch Camacho riding the bike. He’s going to give him two broken wrists. Cool trying to bait Matthews but he calls the match. Good for him. Hunico works over the injured wrist. DiBiase pulls out a win and Cool gets to bag on Booker for not supporting another babyface. What a screwed up announce booth.

Johnny Wooden GM gets to have a phone call interview from Abu Dhabi. He can’t Skype? Cool now flips to being a heel and says how happy people are to keep Johnny on as GM. Ugh, I should have FF thru that. Awful. Randy Orton comes to the ring. After the commercial break, Daniel Bryan comes down. Cool now defends Bryan. I’m flabbergasted. Big Show talks about the match. He know what to do more than the announcers. Solid match to the commercial break.

Randy Orton in control after the break. Orton is going to that next level that only he can! Bryan boots him in the face. Cool calls out Booker but he was making sense. Train wreck city tonight in the booth. Bryan turns a roll up into an almost LeBell Lock into Orton takign control and the rope hanging DDT. Big Show attacks Daniel Bryan after being provoked. Orton is pissed at everyone. Are they trying to make him heelish again to go against Sheamus at Wrestlemania? I’m spent after these two reviews. It’s 12:12 AM EST. I’m out. -Kevin

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