Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

I'm at the middle of the show and completely confused by everything happening and not in a good way either.

I’ve got nothing for an opening today. I’m tired but ready to bang out this review. Let’s roll.

Jeremy had a great line about Sting. Bobby Roode made him so mad, he was going to start going around everywhere in black face. So wish I had thought of that one. Evidently Kurt Angle is going to tell us multiple reasons why he attacked Jeff Hardy. My guess is that Jeff stopped supplying him with vitamins, cough cough. Kurt brings out cue cards. At least he’s not hiding his note cribbing like the Rock. Unlike the Rock, Angle is in no way electrifying. Just like the Rock, his promo sucks. He calls out Hardy. Jeff slaps him then double legs him. TNA loves officials from the back. Bobby Roode is still the “IT Factor of professional wrestling”. Ask the Miz how much that matters. Austin Aries wonders in. He says indirectly he tweeted something but not what he wrote. Excellent way to craft a promo. If you’re a moron. They talk a walk together because we can’t get enough of fighting authority figures in wrestling today. (That’s a huge dose of sarcasm.)

Daniels & Kazarian come out for the gauntlet match against AJ Styles. Ah, if AJ wins he gets to know why Kazarian turned on him. Why didn’t Daniels order Kazarian to be the first in the match? Kazarian can just lay down now. He still doesn’t like being controlled. They went to commercial break early. Kaz gives AJ his finisher to DQ Daniels but then pins AJ. Daniels looks confused. In a way, I don’t blame him but the main point is not giving out the info. Madison Rayne tries to impress Gail Kim with a bunch of pictures. Gail got them a day at the spa and a match against ODB.

Kim comes out with Madison for the match. Not a fan of the heel vs heel. ODB brings Eric Young to the ring with her. Madison Rayne stopped a bronco buster with a boot to the cooch. EY distracts the ref while his woman is winning. ODB gets the win when Kim can’t interfere? They argue again. Bully Ray berates the make up lady. Roode & Aries make the pitch to get rid of Sting to him. Velvet can barely complain about being screwed before Angelina & Sarita attack her.

They come back from commercial and Velvet Sky is complaining again. She was screwed by Madison. The screwing stops now. Then they replay what they did before the break. Excellent work morons. Weakest assault ever. Mickie James makes the save in the strangest outfit ever. She’s gone 80’s neon. Ric Flair yells at Garrett Bischoff. They want Garrett to come to his sense still. For some reason, Flair, Gunner & E Bisch think they can continue to beat down Garrett. Ground Hog Day something fierce.

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#PWOWrestling – Season 5 – Episode 12

You'll have to click the read more button to figure out why I used this picture.

Joe Dombrowski and Aaron Maguire introduce the show. The attacker of Johnny Gargano will be revealed (which I happened to see as I was on Twitter). Benjamin Boone came to the ring with “Amazing” N8 Mattson. Matthew Justice was his opponent. (I was starting to wonder where he was after his big return speech.) Justice got Boone in the Anaconda Vice. Justice worked over Boone’s left arm.  Boone knocked Justice down. Justice drop kicked Boone twice. Boone recovered and tried to work over Justice’s arm. Boone kneed Justice coming in for a tie up. Boone choked Justice on the middle rope, distracted the ref and allowed Mattson to continue choking Justice. Boone side slammed Justice. Justice fired back with punches and kicks. Boone strangled Justice. Sunset flip by Justice got two. Boone gave Justice a spine buster. Boone stretched out Justice with a knee in the back. Justice gave Boone a neck breaker. Boone powered Justice into a corner. Justice dodged Boone who tumbled to ring side. Suicide dive by Justice nailed Boone. Justice shoulder blocked Boone. Justice clothes lined Boone twice and gave him a Fame Asser. Justice power slammed Boone for a near fall. Boone belly to belly suplexed Justice. Boone missed a splash. Spring board clothesline by Justice got him the victory.

Analysis: The announcers did a good job of covering the history of Krimson and Justice. He can’t really go after him though with Krimson in a number one contender’s match and going against Matt Mason. Justice is in a spot where they don’t have enough heels at his level of baby face. Aaron Draven has the same problem. We know how to solve it right? Turn one of them heel! Solid match. Justice looked a little rusty to me. Score: +1.

Bobby Beverly said that he finally has his chance for the PWO Title he’s been waiting for, for two years. He boasts of his win over Johnny Gargano. Beverly does a good job of being convincing about how Sex Appeal has gotten meaner and better since getting advice from the ski mask man. Beverly said he’s going to be champ next week. Analysis: And that promo is the reason I picked Beverly as one of the next guys to get a bigger contract. Great work. Score: +1.

Vic Travagliante interviewed Bryan Castle, the World’s Most Huggable Wrestler. Brian Bender is not going to be at his match Bobby Shields. Castle got lots of pointers from Bender. He made Castle eat healthier. Castle also demonstrated doing one hundred jump jacks but got winded after three. Castle said he does one hundred squats a day. Castle called one a hundred. Castle whacked himself in the head with a rubber warm up band. Analysis: Not the strongest of Castle’s showing on the mic but it was entertaining. I may also just not like it as much because I want them to move on from this year long gimmick. Sometimes I’m a complete dope. Jeremy pointed out to me that Castle’s shirt is a take on the Ghostbusters 2 symbol. Not sure why I didn’t recognize that before. Score: +1.

Nicki Valentino came out for a match. Ben Fruith came to the ring with the WrestleRama trophy. Valentino charged at Fruith and kicked him in the gut. Fruith nailed a cross body. Fruith kept him down after an arm drag. The announcers noted Valentino’s serious turn. Valentino missed a charge into a corner. Fruith arm drug Valentino three times. Valentino powered out and stomped away at Fruith. Valentino chopped him and followed up with a drop kick. Valentino had a key lock. He got two out of a fist drop. Fruith caught Valentino with a boot coming in. Fruith clotheslined him twice. Fruith nailed a double sledge. Valentino kicked Fruith. Valentino hoisted him up for a power slam. Fruith dropped out. Valentino kicked out of two from a Fruith Roll Up. Valentino kneed Fruith in the temple. Valentino locked in a cross face chicken wing.

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WWE Money in the Bank appears back in pay-per-view line-up, Sin Cara to be injured July 15

According to, WWE is back to advertising the Money in the Bank pay-per-view, now set for July 15 in Phoenix, Ariz. The likelihood of WrestleMania featuring an MITB match just went down, and the WrestleMania roles of Dolph Zigger, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and others are still in question. I just wish WWE would make up its damned mind so we can avoid all of the speculation in our Lunch Conversations. -Eric

So Rock was using notes?

So did everyone else think John Cena was just being a dick Monday when he said Rock had notes on his wrist? Well it turns out he was being a dick but he wasn’t fibbing. Thanks to they have two pictures posted with the evidence.

Not sure how to take this. On one hand he is rusty on the promo front so notes are not necessarily a bad thing. It will help keep him on point and the promo moving so he can get his feet under him again for the following weeks.

On the other hand he was too damn lazy to remember simple shit like Kung-Po Bitch? Really? If any half-assed line screamed improvisation it was that garbage. He took the time to write that trash on his wrist since it was such a killer line? Good lord that is terrible and embarrassing for him. What makes this story lean a little closer to the bad side is that this man is a professional actor now. He isn’t Marlon Brando so he needs to remember his bullet points and lines for Christ sake. Maybe they can send out Curt Hawkins next for him and they can write dialogue for The Rock on his face? -Jeremy

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