Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

For Fry The Delivery Guy

After making myself some an excellent Lenten meal (buttered whole wheat noodles with garlic, basil, olive oil, Parmesan and Romano), cleaning up and getting the dogs to zonk out, it’s time to resume another TV review from yours truly. Fry pushed for me to do it for Smackdown more often. I had mostly been drinking too much the last two Fridays to do so. Saturday is usually a busy day with gym, then work then making a large meal to act as lunch the following work week. By the time Sunday rolls around, I feel like it’s too late. It’s almst over as I start this so I won’t play on Twitter but that will make the viewing go slightly quicker. Let’s roll.

Nice little video package for the main event between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. Sheamus is the first face in the ring. What the hell is up with the blue mood lighting? Is it supposed to make him look less white? I like that he’s comparing himself to Bryan in letting the title going to Bryan’s head. A little wonky. He felt like he wanted to tell an Irish story but he skipped it. Vickie Guerrero interrupts. My boy Dolph Ziggler gets to run down Sheamus before he loses to him. Vickie has to run down Teddy and go with Johnny Wooden GM. She needs to throw her hat in the ring. Make it a three party race. No match, right to commercial. Welcome to Smackdown where you don’t need a hook of some early action before the break.

The GM switcharoo would mean something if they hadn’t been running super shows for nearly a year straight. Mitchell Cool is defending Bryan. Josh & T don’t note the flip flop. Oh, Vickie put her candidacy on Twitter. #CougarInCheif. We’re @Stuntgranny if you were wondering. Vickie put Dolph’s leg on the rope. Dolph has gotten in enough offense. They just gave him another near fall. He has got to be a MITB winner this year. The White Noise. I do like the change in finisher. That looks safer, but weaker. I love to FF thru the many replays. Johnny Wooden GM is looking for an apology from Teddy Long. David Otunga is getting a bit better. Teddy won’t apologize. I want Teddy bad but I know I’ll be disappointed. I will be glad we only have one GM. I’m done with this interim GM stuff with more logic holes than Swiss cheese.

Another replay package. Can’t wait to sit thru these live in a couple of weeks. Heath Slater takes on Santino because the Cobra spit on him. Slater is the new age Barry Horowitz. I love it. That’s all I had to write for that segment. Piccolo.

Another replay. Eve is primping herself. Natalya talks to her. Why is a heel talking sense into a former baby face? Nattie gets to fart on her and be happy about it. Why am I laughing at this one. Piccolo. They have a match after the break so I’m sticking in the same paragraph. Cool doesn’t think Booker can want to obey Eve and tell her to get the job done. There’s no contradiction there. She could have gotten more attention by being a better in ring performer. If the WWE thought they had the next Trish Stratus, they go with it. Eve wins. I guess Natalya is a baby face now? More commercial.

We get more replay as Cody Rhodes comes to the ring. He runs down Show and says he saved him the embarrassment of losing at the “Big Show” aka Wrestlemania. Cody is ready to site another loss when Big Show comes to the ring. Show says he wanted to laugh at himself. He’s getting me laughing. Teddy Long announces Show vs Rhodes for the IC Title. Mark Henry is fighting Show. These two know how to wrestle a big man match as they hit commercial. Henry tossing the stairs is impressive. Cody sold the choke artist Show but the size difference is so ridiculous. I’m biting my tongue for Wrestlemania Preview time. Teddy Long tells Drew McIntyre he is fired if he loses. More replay. Randy Orton said he’s back to normal. He wants revenge for Bryan costing him the chance to be champion going into Wrestlemania.

Drew McIntyre is going against Justin Gabriel. The announcers are selling the loss so of course he’s going to win. Damn, Gabriel wins. Awesome camera angle for the 450. Teddy fires him. Weird how far he has fallen. I get to FF thru a movie preview and the Raw Rebound. Only been watching for an hour and I only have 22 minutes left. Daniel Bryan doesn’t have butterflies in his stomach. Bryan says that Sheamus was wrong that he has changed. Bryan is killing it on the mic right now. Let’s see if he can recover from when they knock him back down. The Miz hasn’t been successful. Sheamus has been. Which one will you be like Bryan?

Randy Orton hit the ring before the commercial. I realize I’m missing the UFC event so I flip to the main event, Thiago Alves vs Martin Kampmann. Alves was whooping on Kampmann until Alves decides to take him down after a flurry of punches and kicks. Kampmann locks in a guillotine and gets the tap. Fun end. Back to Smackdown. Bryan is in control before the commercial break. Orton turns it around with a drop kick. Kane distracts Orton. They start fighting each other. Why do the women always freeze? These guys deserve a singles match at Wrestlemania. May as well move Kane to Smackdown. If there’s such a thing as that. -Kevin

2 Responses

  1. I…I love you.

  2. And I agree. Ziggler has MITB written all over him. If Cody drops the IC to Show, which wouldn’t make sense for a multiude of reasons, Zigglers still taking the briefcase.

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