Randy Orton to star in Marine 3, seriously.

WWE just won’t give up on making low budget shit movies for straight to DVD and Blue-ray release. Up next is yet another marine movie but this time it is set to star Randy Orton. You may remember Randy from his stint in the actual Marine Corp that ended when he was court-martialed and spent 38 days in a military prison.

So who better to portray a Marine on film then the guy who went AWOL and went to jail for it? Imagine the pitch meeting for this movie. “So we have a new Marine sequel but to get that authenticity we need it to star someone with military experience. How about Randy Orton? He was in the Marines after all?”

“Um, he went AWOL and got booted after spending time in jail”

“Oh so he was in The Marines though? Perfect, let’s shoot him to the moon. All those tattoos and that ever present scowl and his animal magnetism will sell this flick.”

“Let me be clear, he was put in jail. He wasn’t even allowed to do Tribute to The Troops for a while because of it. This isn’t a good idea.”

“No he is perfect. Let’s get this greenlit immediately.”

This does beg the question; was Cody Rhodes too busy or beautiful for this role? What about someone like Kofi Kingston? Why do all WWE films star white people?  -Jeremy

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One Response

  1. X-Files remake, starring John Cena as the dude whose name I can’t remember and Sheamus as Gillian Anderson. Co-starring R-Truth as the Smoking Man. Book it, Danno.

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