Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

Whippets are mini Greyhounds.

David Otunga starts the night off by introducing Johnny Wooden GM. They’re keeping the People Power idea going strong. They ask Teddy Long to come out. Teddy tells him to go to hell. The crowd reacts to Teddy so why keep him. The crowd doesn’t even use half the power to boo Johnny. Of course Teddy’s grandkids need an education. Johnny forces Teddy to take a job with him so the grandkids don’t lose their college fund. Dumb story line #1 starts for the evil GM. Ugh. Kill me. I knew this would happen. At least we got respite from these dumb stories on Raw because of the star power. Of course the board thinks this is a grand idea too. What a bunch of assholes for letting Johnny hang this over Teddy’s head. I can’t drink quick enough. I want to throw my lap top.

Mark Henry & David Otunga are taking on R Truth. Mitchell Cool gets to rub in Johnny win. An annoying Cool is going to help me enjoy this storyline even more. Why would Booker be summoned to the Board of Directors? He’s got to “work” for Johnny but he isn’t signing the pay checks. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Otunga tags in after a World’s Strongest Slam. Henry rightly looks annoyed at Otunga’s posing. Kane shows up. Weird. Then they go to commercial. This show is on fire. Not in a good way.

He’s taking on Randy Orton in a No DQ rematch. Why does Orton keep wrestling the guy he feuds with? Orton was never in a tag match against Wade Barrett. I don’t feel ripped off for this match since it has been done so many times anyway. WM wasn’t anything special. Putting it on this lot on the show doesn’t give it much importance either. Nothing going on before the break. The other thing bout Randy’s matches, they’re TNA inspired. Why does he have a No DQ match on Smackdown against his foes instead of a PPV? RKO for the win. I was pretty bored. Fair enough brawl I suppose.

Review of Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus. Some jobber got mic time before Ryback comes out. They pull the same stunt with Skip Sheffield they did with Lord Tensai. They acknowledge their past without saying their old name which is more of a problem. Just say A Train and Sheffield, say they changed their names & we’re all happy.

Daniel Bryan & AJ Lee come to the ring. The Yes chants aren’t as strong already. Now the crowd is piping up. Bryan says the crowd is mocking him. Awesome. He says AJ cost him the belt. Nice. He tells her she has the kiss of death. If they would have saved this dick type move for this moment, instead of before Wrestlemania, it would have been more effective. It’s still working though so why am I bitching? Bryan kicks her to the curb. That’s a shame. I want to keep seeing me some AJ.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Read below if you want the fun stuff from this week. I’ll keep the depressing stuff off of my introductions. Who wants to hear that? We’ve all got enough of that. Let’s roll.

I’ve finally set my DVR to record an extra five minutes during this show. Hulk Hogan gets the first intro from Dixie Carter because he didn’t get enough air time last week. He books a match between Crimson & Matt Morgan for Lockdown. Hogan sets up a women’s championship challenge who will take on Gail Kim. Hogan trades insults with Ric Flair who doesn’t have a mic. Bobby Roode shows up late with his scruffy looking security team. Roode tries to tell Hogan off but he puts the brakes on it. Roode has to wrestle Mr. Anderson. Hogan then books Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle next. Hogan proved me wrong. He got down to business with that segment.

I’m digging Angle’s new tights, more specifically the “Angle” on the leg portion that looks and is colored like the Olympic rings. Jeff Hardy started on offense. Kurt Angle got control before the commercial break. Good place for the match to be in. Hardy takes back over after the break. Triple suplexes by Angle. I’ve always dug the top rope belly to belly over head suplex from Angle. It should really end a match sometime. Hardy started a low blow. Good for him. Who doesn’t know that’s coming from a heel who just held a ref as a shield? Angle leaves. They stopped at a good time. Angle & Hardy could have a better match. Hogan is backstage and informs Angle he has a cage match at Lockdown with Jeff. Ric Flair talks to Eric Bischoff. That’s how informative it was. Bully Ray changes his name to Calfzilla. He says he’s the next world champion. Bully Ray is going to take out Austin Aries.

Bully Ray has eaten some large chicken wings. Austin Aries comes out. Aries shushs him then assaults him with a mic. Aries ends up power bombed after punching Ray in the head. Joseph Park is looking for Abyss still.

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Rock Bottom Continues To Lower

 

This would only have been better if they called it Rocket Fuel in a Bottle. In my opinion. – Dusty 

#Wrestlemania Weekend – Cbus Edition

Just in case you're confused like Mr. Maes, that is my foot. Sleeping from left to right, Jer, Kia and Cayenne.

I thought we’d get more work done for the site with Jeremy & I in the same spot. We didn’t have to worry about taking the MARTA and using at least thirty minutes of time to do so. We weren’t going to have to hunt for food like we did in Atlanta after the hour of 8:00 PM. We ended up finding out that showing off a cool city that you’re familiar with takes up more time than going to CNN, the World of Coca-Cola and the Georgia Aquarium. The last time Jeremy was here was four or five years ago. I was limited by my ex-wife who didn’t like to try new places. I’ve been liberated and wanted to show it off to the first friend that has been to Columbus who hadn’t lived here before. We talked plenty of wrestling while we were out so I’m going to give you a preview of where you’d go if you stopped in to visit along with some additional thoughts on wrestling we talked about.

Friday Gallo’s Tap Room – They offer a number of microbrewery beers on tap so it has Sippy Time Beer Award written all over it. On top of that, they’ve got some seriously delicious bar food. The menu isn’t that long (check the link) but it’s high quality bar food. Sippy Time Beer Choice – Columbus Brewing  Company India Pale Ale. Wrestling thoughts: Our plan for this evening was to do a round up this evening. We didn’t take down many beers, but after an eight hour drive for him and the woman and a full day of work & week for yours truly led to a sleepy crew. There wasn’t much to update than the players in Team Johnny vs Team Teddy. It wouldn’t have changed my pick for Team Johnny. I’ll hope that his character does as well as he did on Monday. And also takes up as much air time. I have a doubt on the later because we’re not going to have a Rock farewell speech or a appearance by Brock Lesnar after a lengthy John Cena promo.

SaturdayLa Casita & Bob’s Bar – The former is the finest of three Mexican establishments in my neighborhood and the only place that Jeremy had been to previously. We took down some good grub and a pitcher of tasty margaritas. At Bob’s Bar, they serve over two hundred beers with thirty six of them coming off a tap. Sippy Time Beer Choice – Left Handed Brewing Company – Smoke Jumper, an Imperial Porter. Wrestling Thoughts: I was expecting to watch the Hall of Fame ceremonies this night. It wasn’t until Monday Night Raw that it was noted the show would be aired on Monday. I still haven’t watched it. I’m sure it’ll be fun but I wish more of inductions were in there. We were at the event in Atlanta and it last approximately three hours. An hour of TV will not do the ceremony justice.

SundayBabushka’s, homemade meatballs & a Great Lakes Variety Pack – Babushka’s is a Polish joint that opened up about a year ago. I hadn’t had the chance to eat there yet so I figured the Pollack in Jeremy would be a good excuse to try it. It was some good food so long as you like cabbage or pierogies. After getting fat and sassy, we took a nice walk then grabbed the variety pack on our way back to my place. I still have plenty of meatballs left. Good thing I have a large freezer. I have five quarts of tomato sauce in there too. It’s a big undertaking and quite delicious. The twelve pack had Edmund Fitzgerald, Dortmunder Gold and Commodore Perry but my Sippy Time Beer Choice – Eliot Ness. It’s one of my top five favorite beers. I know I’ve pimped it before but I’ll repeat myself. Wrestling Thoughts: The jokes that didn’t make it into the blog were too many because context is everything. I hope you had a good crew to watch. It would have been nice if my neighbors were wrestling fans but they were a nice addition to the crew. After having re-watched the whole thing, I still think this show is in the B-/C+ area. Good but not great, it would have been fun to get Dusty on audio with his take on Undertaker versus HHH and the card as a whole but my week hasn’t been any less busy without Jeremy & his woman around. Hence this going up on Friday.

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