Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

Whippets are mini Greyhounds.

David Otunga starts the night off by introducing Johnny Wooden GM. They’re keeping the People Power idea going strong. They ask Teddy Long to come out. Teddy tells him to go to hell. The crowd reacts to Teddy so why keep him. The crowd doesn’t even use half the power to boo Johnny. Of course Teddy’s grandkids need an education. Johnny forces Teddy to take a job with him so the grandkids don’t lose their college fund. Dumb story line #1 starts for the evil GM. Ugh. Kill me. I knew this would happen. At least we got respite from these dumb stories on Raw because of the star power. Of course the board thinks this is a grand idea too. What a bunch of assholes for letting Johnny hang this over Teddy’s head. I can’t drink quick enough. I want to throw my lap top.

Mark Henry & David Otunga are taking on R Truth. Mitchell Cool gets to rub in Johnny win. An annoying Cool is going to help me enjoy this storyline even more. Why would Booker be summoned to the Board of Directors? He’s got to “work” for Johnny but he isn’t signing the pay checks. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Otunga tags in after a World’s Strongest Slam. Henry rightly looks annoyed at Otunga’s posing. Kane shows up. Weird. Then they go to commercial. This show is on fire. Not in a good way.

He’s taking on Randy Orton in a No DQ rematch. Why does Orton keep wrestling the guy he feuds with? Orton was never in a tag match against Wade Barrett. I don’t feel ripped off for this match since it has been done so many times anyway. WM wasn’t anything special. Putting it on this lot on the show doesn’t give it much importance either. Nothing going on before the break. The other thing bout Randy’s matches, they’re TNA inspired. Why does he have a No DQ match on Smackdown against his foes instead of a PPV? RKO for the win. I was pretty bored. Fair enough brawl I suppose.

Review of Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus. Some jobber got mic time before Ryback comes out. They pull the same stunt with Skip Sheffield they did with Lord Tensai. They acknowledge their past without saying their old name which is more of a problem. Just say A Train and Sheffield, say they changed their names & we’re all happy.

Daniel Bryan & AJ Lee come to the ring. The Yes chants aren’t as strong already. Now the crowd is piping up. Bryan says the crowd is mocking him. Awesome. He says AJ cost him the belt. Nice. He tells her she has the kiss of death. If they would have saved this dick type move for this moment, instead of before Wrestlemania, it would have been more effective. It’s still working though so why am I bitching? Bryan kicks her to the curb. That’s a shame. I want to keep seeing me some AJ.

Cody Rhodes is in the announce booth. Big Show is wrestling Heath Slater. Big Show rolls the video footage again. Squash match. Stare down with Cody. Rhodes fakes the attacks. Poor Heath gets a WMD from a frustrated Show. The Bellas are talking to Johnny. Sheamus pops in. Johnny wants more professionalism from Sheamus. He ends up making a veiled threat to Johnny. Are they being subtle or was that dumb luck?

Nikki Bella is taking on Beth Phoenix. Kelly Kelly comes out to check the proceedings. Beth loses because of KK distraction. That’s some seriously weak sauce. Cheif Jay Strongbow gets a video package. Good on the WWE.

So buzzed thru the Cena and Brock Lesnar recap. Damien Sandow is upset in a high brow way. He’s going to save us from our ignorance. Evidently that earlier thing was just a commercial for Raw. I buzzed thru the real recap.

Sheamus is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Booker T is talking up Del Rio. As with any long match, nothing much happens before the break. Del Rio works over the arm for a second time. Sheamus starts rag dolling Del Rio. Ricardo Rodriguez makes his appearance. Sheamus takes a chair from Del Rio. In very Eddie Guerrero moment, Del Rio fakes an injury and gets the DQ win. So are they trying to turn Del Rio against one of their most popular guys? Have him straight up cheat dummies. -Kevin

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