`Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Jeremy and I are both under the weather after going to UFC 145. We were hoping to do an audio about it today but because of the sickness, we’re holding off until tomorrow. Also because of the cold, I made myself some chicken noodle soup. I’m acting like there was ever a chance that I was going to start this on time since it’s three hours long. The dogs don’t pass out until a post eight o’clock walk. They don’t like me using my computer so I comply. Stupid spoiled dogs. Anyway, let’s roll.

Teddy Long introduces John Cena. Ah, it’s the contract signing. Teddy introduces Brock Lesnar. Johnny Wooden GM comes out to berate Teddy. Brock isn’t there yet. As Johnny does introduces the show, Edge interrupts him. Edge had to talk to Cena. Edge is giving him a hell of a pick yourself up speech. Always interesting having to explain wrestling to an outsider. I’m having to do that tonight too. She may become a regular. We’ll see. Good idea for that speech though.

Chris Jericho comes out. Kofi Kingston is the sacrificial lamb. Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler are doing a good job of bickering. Lawler stepping up is a nice change of pace. And we get a commercial with not much happening as usual. Cool & Lawler are selling a PPV. Kofi with a head scissors take over, that looked good. Which is strange. I don’t think he uses that much either. They are giving Kofi far more offense than I expected. The crowd roars for the attempted Walls of Jericho. Nice Code Breaker off the spring board. The crowd is eating up Jericho. Solid promo. Brock video package.

Johnny Wooden GM is on the phone of course. Eve Torres interrupts. She thinks the acting is bad porno level. Eve gets an executive post. Eve denies the hug. Good for her, sticks to her character. More Brock video package. Hmm, lots of filler on a three hour show, you don’t say? CM Punk gets the Josh Matthews questioning. Punk’s gift was a basket of alcohol. Josh gets a hell of a present.

Lord Tensai babbles in Japanese. He gets to squash R Truth. Looks like the Claw is going to be his finisher. Woof. Stick to the power bomb.

Kane marches to the ring. He has a mic. Uh oh. How the fuck did I not catch up at all? I’m blazing thru the commercials. I guess the distraction is slowing me down. She also chortling at this promo. Yep, this is what normal people think of wrestling. He looks like he’s holding his left arm funny. Randy Orton interrupts. Poor Paul Bearer only shows up to get kidnapped. Kane doesn’t care. Good for him. Orton comes out to brawl. I love how the lead pipe has a rubber handle on it. Is Orton losing from even steven booking? More reruns!

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WWE Tough Enough winner Andy Leavine released, “Silent Rage” T-shirt production ceases

Jesus, he can't even do "gay cowboy" well.

According to PWInsider.com by way of Prowrestling.net, WWE has released relaunched “Tough Enough” winner Andy Leavine. Raise your hand if you knew Andy Leavine was still under a WWE contract (or if you have good penmanship). I didn’t think so. Leavine had been working for Florida Championship Wrestling under the name Kevin Hackman, which makes sense given two things: 1) WWE’s disposition for giving people the last names of famous actors or their movie characters (see: Ryback), and 2) because Andy Leavine is a hack, and I dare say Steve Austin & Co. made a horrible error naming this future flop the winner of their highly regarded reality series. Good riddance, “Silent Rage,” you make the Equalizer look like Big Van Vader. -Eric

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