Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE

I’m calling this “Almost Live” because around 10:15 PM, I’m skipping out because my girlfriend wants to see the season finale of Hawaii Five-O and doesn’t want to be here too late on a work night. I can’t say I blame her. The fact that she’ll watch this garbage with me for any extent of time is a bonus. Let’s roll.

She immediately says what I’m thinking about HHH waiting to talk to “the World”. You’re on camera already dude. HHH is offended by the “legitimacy” part of Brock Lesnar’s speech. She’s watched all of a month of this stuff and is pretty much writing HHH’s promo. HHH goes with the quitter angle for Brock. This crowd is near silent. Paul Heyman comes out to almost as little reaction. Have I mentioned that I absolutely hate lawyer angles? I am pumped for Suits this summer though. So does breech of contract cover breaking the boss’s arm? How long would he last in the UFC if he broke Dana White’s arm? I couldn’t be less excited about this angle. We get rehash of Big Show having to apologize. That’s right, he needs to apologize tonight. CM Punk hits the ramp at the seventeen minute mark. Wow. I guess that was the hook.

Santino comes out “walking like a gay man” according to my lady friend. All Italians walk like gay men was my response. Punk & Santino is taking on Cody Rhodes & Daniel Bryan. Punk and Rhodes start the match out. Oh boy, I’m worried. What a terrible way to start. Chopped up intros, pretty much no time for the match to start. Rhodes is working over Santino after the break. Lawler is confused by the “Yes” chants. Of course, the crowd chants “Santino” right after it. Welcome schizo frantic crowd. That was a funny non-hot tag. She can’t handle the sock puppet. It was ridiculous to cower away from it. GTS for the win.

Alicia Fox gets to lose to the flavor of the month. It’s Beth Phoenix. They hype Over the Limit. Please, telegraph the finish of this match even more than you have already. Say that this match is for the #1 contender spot. Glam Slam for the duke. Layla face plants Beth. The crowd continues to not care. John Cena getting some good press for the inevitable bad press from the divorce from that almost certainly cunty bitch. Oh goody, more replay of a completely dumb angle. Have I mentioned that yet?

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