@PRIMEWrestling Podcast 2

Dan & Kevin are back again talking about the debut of Matt Mason against a returning Brian Bender. Since Kevin already has his opinion in his review, he asks Dan about his perspective on the match. They move on to talking about Matt Cross but has Cross moved on? Jimmy Jacobs has moved in to PRIME Wrestling, but is he a big enough name to center the promotion around? Will a returning Johnny Gargano help the story line out? Jacobs is also involved with the perceived splitting of Sex Appeal. Is Nicki Valentino getting kicked to the curb because of a returning Bobby Shields? Who do the guys thinks matches up better about an on the outs Bobby Beverly? Jason Bane laid out an ultimatum and go an answer from the Man Beast. Will Rhino draw as much as previous attractions to Wrestlelution? Krimson, Bane’s opponent last year, cuts another promo. Is it up to his usual lofty standards? Michael Facade completed a journey for the TV Title, but what was the hitch that Ken & Dan found in this development? Have your own journey in your ear holes by clicking the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show- Prime Wrestling #2

Insane Clown Posse names a song “Chris Benoit” and, quite frankly…

… it’s about god damn time. The ice needed to be broken. The statute of limitations within general pop culture and pro wrestling discourse had to end eventually. Even if WWE never utters the name “Chris Benoit” again, I’m glad two fat guys who paint their faces, spray people with orange soda and rap about the supernatural are the ones to do it. According to Prowrestling.net, ICP is currently filming a video for “Chris Benoit,” a song off ICP’s upcoming “The Mighty Death Pop!” album that Violent J claims is “about the loss of sanity” but I believe is about the science behind a diving headbutt.

Now, don’t take my above thoughts as an endorsement for taking lots and lots of steroids, bumping every night in a way that jars your spine, smashing your head until your brain turns into corn and mashed potatoes, and then killing your wife and kid on steroid rage. What I’m saying is, even the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” joke is going to get old soon, and someone had to put the words “Chris Benoit” back into our vocabulary. Might as well be two rascally rappin’ rasslin’ fans whose Juggalo followers, in their 48-inch-waist Jncos and stupid hairdos, have been labeled by the FBI as a “loosely organized gang.” On second thought, Chris Benoit would be rolling over in his grave. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #191

Return of the Mack

This is a very very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio because The Man is back. Dusty and Kevin join up to talk about Psycho Sid’s return and just how it rates in the lexicon of all time great moments in pro wrestling history. They talk about how good it must be to be Heath Slater right now, how pathetic Ric Flair is now, how weird those old Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant matches were, Brock Lesnar’s sudden transformation into David Copperfield, John Cena *finally* getting a well deserved title match, and much much more. The best part is it’s only going to take about 40 minutes of your precious time away from you, so you really have no excuse not to listen immediately, fucko.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #191

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The WWE loves crazy women. Replay city to start the show. AJ Lee fake talks to Daniel Bryan then Kane then CM Punk. I guess we’re supposed to be surprised that she was doing that in the mirror with the reveal. Hey dummies, you always show the people when they’re actually talking and a tight shot when they’re talking to themselves. I want to vomit. I saw the Cena tweet earlier today. Nothing will make history you tool. Vickie Guerrero gets to be GM this week. The board is dumb as a box of rocks. Daniel Bryan comes out for a triple threat elimination match against Kane & CM Punk. As per usual, nothing happens before the break.

Kane misses the Doomsday Device because of a victory roll. Slick move. The back drop moments later almost went really wrong. Mitchell Cool continues the title reign of CM Punk. You’ve got to wonder why they’re building that up. Kane gets eliminated after another AJ distraction. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for the win. Vickie gets a compliment from Alberto Del Rio. Dolph Ziggler gets his piece to say. Ziggles & Del Rio have a contract on a pole match. Yuck.

The Funkasaurus gets the full intro. I haven’t watched this in weeks because I’ve been playing catch up. Shouldn’t he be pissed heading into this match? At least Big Show is. Big Show takes advantage of Clay’s knee injury. Are they really protecting him? How dumb is the Clay for going for a slam? Another box of rocks. More cover for John Cena being drug thru the mud during his divorce. Why did they hype a match that was pretty much a squash match?

Bob Barker gets the 1000th Raw treatment. Big Show knocked out Clay during the commercial break. OK, that’s shovel time. Have fun digging your grave Brodus. More review, this time with HHH. Remind me why I want to watch all of this and keep up? Lesnar is returning. Wooo, I suppose. AJ & Kane are in the same shot together. WWE reveals their cheap tactics. Kane tells her to stay away. Hasn’t worked before. More boxes and more rockses.

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@PRIMEWrestling – Season 5 – Episode 18

Joe Dombrowski & Aaron Maguire introduce the show. Gory takes on Michael “The Bomber” Facade for TV Title. Gory forfeits the title if he’s disqualified and Facade isn’t allowed to go after the title any more if he loses. Aaron Draven will take on Nicki Valentino. They kick off the show with Brian Bender taking on Matt Mason. They exchange arm locks. (Really slow start.) Bender takes over with kicks, punches and chops. Mason returns fire. Bender gets knocked down and takes a break. Mason’s arm gets snapped over the top when he tried to grab Bender on the outside. Bender worked on the arm. Bender got two after an arm bar drop. Bender charged in and caught an elbow & boot. Bender tossed Mason arm first into the corner. Bender got pushed off a top rope cutter. Mason finished him with a Swanton Bomb.

Analysis: That was weird. Bender is usually a good wrestler. Mason seemed like he was smooth but the match somehow didn’t work for me. Mason’s offense came after an exceptionally slow start and the offense that led to it was a little weak for a finish. The right person went over. Mason was announced as being from Columbus so of course he had scarlet & grey trunks with a block O on his butt. Why did they change their name to PRIME Wrestling again? Score: 0.

They showed entirely too much review of Matt Cross vs Jimmy Jacobs. You only have an hour a week. It was six minutes long. Wow. Cut that puppy down to two. Let the previous match build a little more smoothly. Matt Cross keeps taking one step forward, two steps back. He goes thru companies that he worked for that went under. He said he’s legally bound not to say stuff about Tough Enough. Cross said everyone knows he didn’t get a fair shot. Cross said he came back home and had his title taken again. The belt means more to him than to Jacobs. Analysis: He didn’t quite get me to buy in. It’s good stuff but there’s another notch. Score: 0.

Jimmy Jacobs was with Bobby Shields & Nicki Valentino. Jacobs said he can;t be called a liar since he’s already the PRIME Wrestling champion. He took over Johnny Gargano’s yard. Jacobs takes exception that Gargano thinks he’s great. Jacobs said he’ll be all up in Johnny if he comes back. Bobby Shields came back from a spiritual journey. Jacobs wants him to find that monster inside instead of the beauty. Jacobs tells Valentino he’s doing OK too. Jacobs tells him to keep Beverly because he keeps screwing up. Analysis: I expect more out of Jacobs. He feels like he’s going thru the motions. Not cool. It’s an easy story to sell, the actions have done a good job. The voice is faulty. Score: 0.

They showed a commercial for Wrestlelution 5. Yippee! I’m so going to Melt Bar & Grilled again.

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WWE.com adds Scott Steiner to alumni section just as TNA threatens Steiner with legal action

RRRRRRIPPED from WWE.com.

Well son of a bitch, I thought I was going to break some news here, but as I searched Prowrestling.net for this article about TNA threatening the hilarious, effervescent, verbose Twitter fiend himself Scott Steiner with legal action based on his derogatory (accurate?) Tweets aimed at TNA, Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan, I found this article talking about exactly what I was going to talk about: WWE.com has added Scott Steiner to its alumni section, proving once again that Joey Styles has a great sense of humor. This is classic WWE, never acknowledging its competition but finding brilliant ways to celebrate others’ ridiculousness. (Hell, they did it TWICE to Dusty Rhodes – see: Virgil and Akeem – before hiring his goofy, doughy ass.)

I guess I just learned a lesson: Stop working at work and start finding more wrastling scoopz. -Eric

Liz Cena thinks John Cena was cheating on her. Um, so?

Don’t be hatin.

Breaking news kids, John Cena was cheating on his wife, or so she thinks.  Liz Cena, according to a post from TMZ.com, wait her name is Liz Cena? Eww, terrible name. Go with Elizabeth Cena or Beth Cena or by your middle name of Gold Digga Cena.

Anyway, she has sent the dog and by dogs I mean lawyers, out to see if John was banging out other broads before the marriage, during their marriage and during this separation phase. Here’s some quick legal and practical advice; stop looking, of course he was. He’s on the road all the time with copious amounts of young pussy, or even older pussy, throwing themselves at him like they were shot out of a pitching machine. What would any other person do but grab a bat and take a few swings. Get over yourself toots and save some money. Lawyers charge for every hour they can after all.

Compounding matters, over at Prowrestling,net, Ken Doane, remember him? No? Well, he should have been bigger than WWE ever let him become but then sour grapes. See what I did there, sour grapes? Huh? No? Ok, well he took to Twitter and said John was banging Mickie James. Problem is that Ken and Mickie were dating and he must not have liked knowing his girl was slobbing the knob of a WWE main eventer while he was curtain jerking.

Mmmmm, Mickie James slobbering down with those thick thighs, wide mouth, juicy lips, bumpin ass, oh sorry where were we?

So yeah , Ken Doane says John Cena was banging Mickie James while Doane and James were dating. Thus she melted down like every emotionally stunted woman would do and she got released. The basic gist of this entire story is that John Cena is earning some mad respect right about now. He plows over a WWE Diva and it makes her go crazy?  Main event status solidified for at least another year. -Jeremy

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