Stunt Granny Audio #189

Jeremy & Kevin are back in your ear holes this week with even more inside jokes! They start off by talking about the proposed TNA Hall of Fame. Naturally, they wonder whether TNA is worthy of any such monument. After talking over that topic they move on to the next logical question, who is worthy of induction? Would there be any one aside from the founders Jarrett & Bob Carter? Jeremy & Kevin go through the show from June 19, 2002 to get some ideas. Does Ken Shamrock deserve this honor? They move on to contemplating whether any of the current wrestlers on the TNA roster deserve it. Would they be ballsy enough to induct Hulk Hogan? How about trying to bring back someone like R Truth? Jeremy & Kevin talk about girl power brought to you by Dixie Carter and Brooke Hogan. Is she famous for anything that Tazz listed in his introduction of her? Will she finally stop taking daddy’s money now that she has a woman’s job? What do these ladies have in common with 50 Shades of Grey? And what is Brooke’s job going to be? Jeremy & Kevin wrap this part of the conversation by wondering whether they’re rather have sex with Carter or Brooke. Their last topic from TNA is Gut Check and more specifically Joey Ryan. Does he really act like Ron Burgundy? Does he make good points for how the Gut Check gimmick works? Is he better than Alex Avila who won the first time? Find out this and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #189

Pictures of new WWE Championship belt may or may not have surfaced

Custom-made for Beth Phoenix.

By way of former WWF/WWE writer Seth Mates’ Twitter account (only because he retweeted someone named @NextBigThingSiD) is what may be a leak of the new WWE Championship belt alluded to by CM Punk at this past weekend’s Wizard World Comic Con. Punk mentioned that he’d seen the belt, and it was a) uglier than a newborn baby and b) 20 pounds heavier than the current, approximately 30-pound belt. Point B leads me to believe this isn’t the actual belt, or at least not the center plate, but Point A still holds true. This does, however, look like a championship buckle for women’s rodeo, which is about how entertaining Monday Night Raw has been in the past few weeks, so it’s apropos. And that don’t mean you’re diggin’ around with farm implements, baby! -Eric

Ring of Honor e-mail includes posters featuring homeless men pointing at their necks

Yes, Eddie, step one of Arn Anderson Training is to put your thumb there.

As a loyal Ring of Honor fan who has watched about 45 minutes of one Sinclair Broadcasting Group TV show and who purchased his most recent ROH DVD in April 2009 but watched his most recent ROH DVD in, like, January 2009, of course I receive ROH’s weekly e-mails, because how better to keep up with a company with such an identity crisis as, as Austin Aries dubbed it, Smoky Mountain of Honor. (Thank you, Cageside Seats, for ranking high in a Google search for that term.)

Low digital quality, low-rent font, high calories!

So these are the types of show posters I’m treated to, the graphic designs that are supposed to excite me into parting with my money rather than buy lunch a few times this month (although I’m sure there are still ROH fans who will gladly buy PPVs and refuse to skip lunch). Low-resolution pictures of a guy who may or may not be a professional wrestler, chewing on a championship belt, while someone with a fetish for newspaper-letter clippings is holding something or other hostage. Not sold. How about the image at the top of this post? The one with FORMER WORLD CHAMPION Eddie Edwards pointing his thumb to his throat about as threateningly as a baby bunny eating my god damn tomato plants.

“O noes, stuck in ROH steal cage!”

But wait, there’s more!

L to R: A group who couldn’t draw money if their dad was Bob Ross; hot-ass Maria.

These are looking more indy by the minute. And seriously, Roderick Strong? Are you checking your pulse? Because you barely look like you could fog a mirror at this point in your life.

I could make the standard “Kevin Steen taking a dump” joke here, but I’ll aim below the belt and suggest that the person on this poster who looks most like a pro wrestler is god damn 90-year-old Bruno Sammartino. (No offense, @jaybriscoe84)

Finally — and please let this be the image that drives home the point that Ring of Honor has plenty of internal struggles to deal with (namely, hiring someone who uses Adobe Photoshop instead of MS Paint) and not that there’s anything wrong with the wrestlers… except Roderick Strong — here’s a piece of communication wizardy:

Now, ROH, tell me, how the fuck am I supposed to know where to go, when and how to get there, when Lance Fucking Storm is standing in the way??

Once again, I shouldn’t slight the wrestlers so much as I should pick on ROH for its half-assed attempts to promote (and, at times, produce, M I RITE CHRIS SHORE) its live events. But I’m not the only voice here; let’s open this up to the peanut gallery:

Dusty: The only thing dangerous about Bruno is that he is still able to speak.

Jeremy: Could they have made them look cheaper? Roderick even knows this is shit. Oh, and look at the Briscoes, how cute.

Dusty: This has to be the first time in recorded history the Briscoes were described as cute in any way whatsoever.

Kevin: There were wrestlers on those posters? I thought I saw ads and some homeless men who couldn’t afford clothes. Any reason this type of thing can’t be a post with us ripping on one of the posters in particular?

Ask and ye shall receive. -Eric

Shawn Michaels and a Man Who Stole His Chest Hair

According to our good friend Jason Powell over at Prowrestling.net, Shawn Michaels will have an Appreciation Night when WWE Raw rolls into San Antonio, Texas on August 6th. I love Michaels, but is there much to appreciate at this point that hasn’t been combed over a million times? Since the WWE will have their expanded third hour in which to replay unlimited video packages, they needed a theme. Shawn Michaels I suppose it’ll be better than turning into a narcoleptic as soon as the Big Show’s 94th video package airs on Raw.

The man on Youtube is Joey Ryan and I’m pretty sure he stole Michaels’s chest hair. He is angry because Bruce Pritchard and Tazz voted him off Gut Check on Impact Wrestling. Ryan compares himself to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan but neglects to mention that they were smart to put their stock in the WWE not a company that kills great indy wrestlers. Have you talked to Samoa Joe about your move? It is a better promo than he cut on Impact before his verdict which tells me TNA has more in store for him until they forget about him like the first contestant on Gut Check who’s name I can’t seem to recall since he hasn’t been on TV since signing his contract. -Kevin

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