Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The WWE loves crazy women. Replay city to start the show. AJ Lee fake talks to Daniel Bryan then Kane then CM Punk. I guess we’re supposed to be surprised that she was doing that in the mirror with the reveal. Hey dummies, you always show the people when they’re actually talking and a tight shot when they’re talking to themselves. I want to vomit. I saw the Cena tweet earlier today. Nothing will make history you tool. Vickie Guerrero gets to be GM this week. The board is dumb as a box of rocks. Daniel Bryan comes out for a triple threat elimination match against Kane & CM Punk. As per usual, nothing happens before the break.

Kane misses the Doomsday Device because of a victory roll. Slick move. The back drop moments later almost went really wrong. Mitchell Cool continues the title reign of CM Punk. You’ve got to wonder why they’re building that up. Kane gets eliminated after another AJ distraction. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for the win. Vickie gets a compliment from Alberto Del Rio. Dolph Ziggler gets his piece to say. Ziggles & Del Rio have a contract on a pole match. Yuck.

The Funkasaurus gets the full intro. I haven’t watched this in weeks because I’ve been playing catch up. Shouldn’t he be pissed heading into this match? At least Big Show is. Big Show takes advantage of Clay’s knee injury. Are they really protecting him? How dumb is the Clay for going for a slam? Another box of rocks. More cover for John Cena being drug thru the mud during his divorce. Why did they hype a match that was pretty much a squash match?

Bob Barker gets the 1000th Raw treatment. Big Show knocked out Clay during the commercial break. OK, that’s shovel time. Have fun digging your grave Brodus. More review, this time with HHH. Remind me why I want to watch all of this and keep up? Lesnar is returning. Wooo, I suppose. AJ & Kane are in the same shot together. WWE reveals their cheap tactics. Kane tells her to stay away. Hasn’t worked before. More boxes and more rockses.

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@PRIMEWrestling – Season 5 – Episode 18

Joe Dombrowski & Aaron Maguire introduce the show. Gory takes on Michael “The Bomber” Facade for TV Title. Gory forfeits the title if he’s disqualified and Facade isn’t allowed to go after the title any more if he loses. Aaron Draven will take on Nicki Valentino. They kick off the show with Brian Bender taking on Matt Mason. They exchange arm locks. (Really slow start.) Bender takes over with kicks, punches and chops. Mason returns fire. Bender gets knocked down and takes a break. Mason’s arm gets snapped over the top when he tried to grab Bender on the outside. Bender worked on the arm. Bender got two after an arm bar drop. Bender charged in and caught an elbow & boot. Bender tossed Mason arm first into the corner. Bender got pushed off a top rope cutter. Mason finished him with a Swanton Bomb.

Analysis: That was weird. Bender is usually a good wrestler. Mason seemed like he was smooth but the match somehow didn’t work for me. Mason’s offense came after an exceptionally slow start and the offense that led to it was a little weak for a finish. The right person went over. Mason was announced as being from Columbus so of course he had scarlet & grey trunks with a block O on his butt. Why did they change their name to PRIME Wrestling again? Score: 0.

They showed entirely too much review of Matt Cross vs Jimmy Jacobs. You only have an hour a week. It was six minutes long. Wow. Cut that puppy down to two. Let the previous match build a little more smoothly. Matt Cross keeps taking one step forward, two steps back. He goes thru companies that he worked for that went under. He said he’s legally bound not to say stuff about Tough Enough. Cross said everyone knows he didn’t get a fair shot. Cross said he came back home and had his title taken again. The belt means more to him than to Jacobs. Analysis: He didn’t quite get me to buy in. It’s good stuff but there’s another notch. Score: 0.

Jimmy Jacobs was with Bobby Shields & Nicki Valentino. Jacobs said he can;t be called a liar since he’s already the PRIME Wrestling champion. He took over Johnny Gargano’s yard. Jacobs takes exception that Gargano thinks he’s great. Jacobs said he’ll be all up in Johnny if he comes back. Bobby Shields came back from a spiritual journey. Jacobs wants him to find that monster inside instead of the beauty. Jacobs tells Valentino he’s doing OK too. Jacobs tells him to keep Beverly because he keeps screwing up. Analysis: I expect more out of Jacobs. He feels like he’s going thru the motions. Not cool. It’s an easy story to sell, the actions have done a good job. The voice is faulty. Score: 0.

They showed a commercial for Wrestlelution 5. Yippee! I’m so going to Melt Bar & Grilled again.

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