Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

Advertisements

Davey Richards, Tony Kozina, Kyle O’Reilly ambitious to get the hell out of Iowa after stretching kid, taking money

According to reports all over the Internet, including this one at The Wrestling Blog and this one from Angry Marks as well as this Wrestling Blog follow-up, well, a whole bunch of shit went down at a few independent wrestling shows in Iowa this past weekend thanks to Davey Richards, Tony Kozina, Kyle O’Reilly and a host of others. Here’s the synopsis, as best we can tell.

Friday night in Des Moines, Iowa, the 3XW promotion held its 7th anniversary show and featured Ring of Honor and indy stars Davey Richards, Tony Kozina and Kyle O’Reilly (Team Ambition) on its card. According to an account by an unnamed source who “works for” 3XW, the trio, plus a trainee they brought along, were all “totally professional.” The 3XW crew also helped these three and their buddy get booked on a couple other cards in Iowa that weekend to make their Iowa trip as worthwhile as possible. Good times all around.

Saturday night in Council Bluffs, Iowa, Magnum Pro Wrestling ran a show with the same threesome of Richards, Kozina and O’Reilly on the card. Kozina, who is known in certain circles as a bit of a hot head (which seems appropriate since he has no neck or shin bones and kinda looks like Ram Man from He-Man), was booked to wrestle 16-year-old Ryan Kidd, who probably made a fundamental mistake in posting to his Twitter account that he is the “fakest fake wrestler.” You know, some guys who make their living in pro wrestling take umbrage with that. Well, Kozina was one of those guys, and as you can see in this video, he took it out of Kidd’s hide, first verbally and then physically. (Same video as above.)

Remember when you were 16 years old, and some old meat head would start spouting off and turning beet red in your vicinity? It was a little scary, right? Imagine if his anger was directed at you. Now imagine if you were there because you were being paid to showcase your wrestling talents against a veteran of your chosen sport, and all he wanted to do was roll into town and legit kick your ass? If I were Kidd, I would have sacrificed my $10 tights and shit my pants in the middle of one of these holds.

Sentiment on the Internet is split right down the middle, if “right down the middle” means one guy no one’s ever heard of has come to Kozina’s defense, while everyone else in Creation has turned Kidd into the Gregory Iron of 2012. Says Toks Fale (I don’t know, either):

Toks Fale @KingFale

some wrestlers make a joke of wrestling. Just watched ‪@TTKozina1 shoot on one of them. Make a mockery of this business you’ll be delt with!

And says TJ Perkins, the Young Bucks, Adam Pearce, Bob Shields, Scott Lost…

TJ Perkins ‏‪@MegaTJP

‪@KiddKillsCali what you’re doing, hitting the road…I can count on one hand the amount of guys from home willing to do that. Badge of honor

The Young Bucks ‏‪@MattJackson13

‪@proudcaucasian ‪@kiddkillscali ‪@stlwc ‪@jaysinstrife Nick was working when he was 14.

Adam Pearce ‏‪@ScrapDaddyAP

After seeing the footage, & regardless of why, what Tony Kozina did is reprehensible; totally classless. And I really respected Tony. ‪#sad

Bobby Shields ‏‪@RealBobShields

‪@JaysinStrife I also promise to not run off when paid if you book me. Lol

Scott Lost ‏‪@ScottLost

Reading tweets on this T.Kozina/‪@kiddkillscali BS. Ppl trying to justify shoot choking out a 16yo whos working is idiotic. ‪#RingRingItsAWork

I’m not here to pass judgment, only to pass on the passing of judgment. So there’s that. Oh, but the weekend isn’t over yet!

So Sunday rolls around, and Adrenaline Pro Wrestling puts on its show in Milo, Iowa, with these same three known wrestlers and their buddy booked on the card. I’ll give you the short version of the story, but click here (https://www.facebook.com/notes/adrenaline-pro-wrestling/jeremy-jacobs-tells-his-side-of-the-story/453334748030943) for the long version, as told by the promoter. O’Reilly was claiming he was “sore” from yesterday’s workout and was hoping the promoter could shift the card around from three singles matches to an eight-man tag including their trainee. The promoter essentially said “no” at first, as he had planned to pay them a certain amount of money for certain matches to take place. He then offered to shift the card around and accommodate for the eight-man tag, but the wrestlers would need to take less money. Richards would have none of this, and he and the promoter texted back and forth, all the way up until showtime.

Team Ambition still hadn’t showed up nearly an hour into the card, so the promoter texted them to tell them not to even bother showing up. Or, as O’Reilly explains it:

After several back and forth attempts of an agreement, he simply told us we were then cancelled off his show. “You can’t just cancel us like this” Tony replied, “I just did” was his response. Let me remind you we are in the middle of a cornfield laden highway in friggen Iowa and we’re being told that we no longer have a booking for today and to just go home.

HEY, we’re not just friggen Iowa, asshole! (You can read his whole explanation here.) Oh, anyway, Richards informed the promoter that they were 20 minutes away, and when they arrived, they threatened to beat up the promoter, then demanded $375 up front, and then just before their match, Richards “realized” he “forgot” his “tape,” then high-tailed it out the door into a getaway car with Kozina at the wheel.

Since then, members of Team Ambition have Tweeted using the hashtag #TeamBandit, which of course have all been taken down, because, as O’Reilly said, there are #nocleanslates.

Oh, Adam Pearce weighed in on this one, too:

Adam Pearce@ScrapDaddyAP

@JaysinStrife I think anyone robbing anyone is a piece of shit. In or out of wrestling.

Apparently Jaysin Strife of the Iowa independent wrestling scene agrees. Here he is, shooting on Team Ambition, following his match against Derek Cornell, a match that was supposed to be, after much shuffling, a tag team match with Strife & Cornell vs. Richards & O’Reilly.

Good lord, what is the deal with these guys when they get into Iowa? Bret Hart snaps on a poor writer, Andre the Giant beats up a cameraman, the legendary MMA-trained highly respected veteran Tony Kozina beats up a 16-year-old… I thought our slogan was that we make people smile?? Anyway, I would advise everyone to click each of these links and read up on all of the happenings, as my one post doesn’t do the whole thing justice. Needless to say, though, I wouldn’t buy a bright blue Cadillac from Team Ambition. Not even a used one. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I’m running on five hours of sleep. It took me a bit longer to get back to Columbus than I would have liked. Mostly my fault so I don’t have anyone to blame but the guy behind the lap top. Oh well, that should make this review a bit more interesting than normal. Let’s roll.

I must have been the guy setting up the pyro rig. Time to FF already. I’m glad I tape this puppy already. CM Punk comes out and gets mostly cheers until he grabs a mic. He talks about Lawler’s closing words. Punk does a fantastic job explaining himself and why he attacked the Rock. The Big Show comes out to stick his big nose into the business. Lawler is flabbergasted. Why? Explain yourself. I tune out Show because even with his renewed push, he’s a joke. He may have finally had a Wrestlemania moment but it’s been all down hill since then. The heel turn may have put a little spice on his resume going heel but that is about it. John Cena attacks Big Show who dumps out of the ring. AJ Lee then comes out in a mini-Stephanie McMahon woman’s power outfit. Winner of Show vs Cena gets Punk at Summerslam. Wait, did a GM just make a match and leave? Should I have hope? Not yet.

Daniel Bryan goes to the GM door and walks away. Santino Marella comes to the ring. I FF thru Alberto Del Rio‘s entrance. I guess they couldn’t find an expensive car in Cincy. What, you’re expecting a joke out of me? Too many to chose from. Why are these two guys getting a commercial break match? Del Rio slaps on the arm bar shortly after the break. The match should have ended before the break. Del Rio isn’t competing because everyone is beneath him. Thank you WWE for doing something right. Bryan is still waiting at the door.

I FF thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. I do listen to Vickie Guerrero. The dance is terrible, not in a good way. Damien Sandow interrupts because someone who isn’t over needs more screen time. I do like Sandow’s offense except for his weak ass finisher. We get a long camera shot of him because the WWE has no idea what to do with three hours of TV. They review Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Jericho.

Bryan finally goes into AJ‘s office. He starts to run her down then she stops him in his tracks. She is the only person to re-watch Raw. AJ gives him a clean slate by booking a match with Sheamus for him. More review of HHH & Brock Lesnar because the WWE has no idea what to do with three hours. Sheamus is fine with whatever stipulations versus Bryan, as he should be. Bryan is starting his de-push.

Continue reading

Iron Sheik sounds off on Olympics, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Jose Canseco, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise…

“Hey, fackan Lepak! You wanna challenge de real legen Arn Sheik for MY belt? FACK you, jabroni!”

Wow. I mean

Come up with a signature move and name Jordan Burroughs could use in London?
“The Jordan.” Not like the Michael Jordan but he still the Real American. He can break the pinkie finger like Sheikie. He break people back with his pinkie. Because he a big strong [expletive] for America. I be happy. His name could be “the Real” and his finisher be “the Humble.” Give me a hell yeah!

How do you feel about the “Flying Squirrel” nickname Ellis Coleman gave himself? 
Flying squirrel remind me of Ultimate Warrior because he a little rat when he jump in ring like that idiot Jose Canseco or Mel Gibson. I would never respect the squirrel because the squirrel have no [expletive].

Wow, aggressive. Could the Iron Sheik beat any of the current wrestlers on Team USA? 
In my day I beat living [expletive] out of all Olympian who challenge the legend. I put them in a camel clutch, break they back [two or three expletives], and make them humble. But now I am not in same shape as before so I don’t [expletive] with them.

How would the Olympics benefit from adding ropes around the mat?
The rope protect you and you cannot run away like little [expletive] in ring like Jose Canseco.

How would Hulk Hogan do against the current Olympic team?
Hulk Hogan don’t last long like because [a few expletives] he not a real man like the Sheiky baby. He get beat bad like [wow… not printing that] and never make it to Olympics. Only for the Olympics for being [or that]. [editors note: He definitely hates Hogan.]

Are you ready for a comeback?
I know if I training I can beat the [expletive] out of anybody who [expletive] with me. I am the real legend not like the jabroni the Tom Cruise.

How do you feel about the American wrestling team this year?
They all workers but need to pay their due to be legend like Iron Sheik. Buy my [expletive] shirt!! USA #1!

God, that’s fucking great. I feel like I just took a bath in holy water. Thanks to Prowrestling.net for the heads-up about this thing of beauty. Now by my fackan shirt! -Eric

Velvet Sky, totally natural breasts, officially gone from TNA

Any excuse to post these. I mean, this.

And so it is official; after days of speculation Velvet Sky has confirmed she is no longer part of TNA. Via her Twitter account she released the following:

“I have been granted my release by TNA at this time,” Sky wrote. “It’s what’s best for me right now and I wanted to thank TNA and all the fans for their constant support in me. Stay tuned though…

“And I also want to thank Vince Russo for creating and believing in the team of The Beautiful People. We had a great run!”

So now the talk is whether or not she ends up in WWE. Dusty and I discussed this a bit yesterday and it just doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense. But then WWE doesn’t really care about in ring product for the women seeing as how the matches go all of five minutes.

Velvet is a gorgeous woman with giant natural breasts so she would seem like a shoo-in for WWE. Excuse me, giant breasts, my bad, and that isn’t a complaint.  Anyway, the role of the manipulative, bitchy chick has been filled by Eve and she isn’t exactly replaceable (wink).  So what use is Velvet to WWE? She can’t rub her crotch on the middle rope more than once before getting fired.  Does WWE really need yet another woman on the roster to not fill time on television?

Oh, and let the Beautiful People reunion go already. If this was WWE of five years ago then maybe but there is definitely no place for them now. Even with the Bella Twins running out of town. -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Late & Half Assed Review of @ImpactWrestling

I need to get stuff off my DVR since I’m traveling to Altoona PA for my nephew’s baptism. Gues who the godfather is? It’s a trifecta, second from the family. It’s late already. Let’s roll.

Sting comes out with serious face on. Sting, temporary GM, calls them out but Austin Aries calls them out. He wants some. You know who else wants some, Kurt Angle? Their trifecta is Bobby Roode. Smart move, he blames James Storm. Storm attacks from behind. The other guys let them fight. Roode claims the attack as proof. Even better.

Tara tells us how awesome Chavo Guerrero. Then Kid Kash. Then Kurt Angle. All blowing some serious smoke. Roode rants and raves about not being believed. Good continuation. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne are taking on Tara & Mickie James. The wrestling is good between Tara, James & Kim. No big surprise. Madison doing a good job in her role. Earl ends up giving Madison the duke because Mickie had her shoulders down but lifted one out of his view. Sting tells Austin Aries to address the X Division and “make some cuts.” Yeah, fire half of them!

Continue reading

Doing the Diva shuffle: Kharma makes WWE release official, TNA bounces Velvet Sky all over the place

According to Gerweck.net, Kharma (a/k/a Kia Stevens) all but made her WWE release official this morning by responding to a Twitter question asking if she had been granted said release.

@CatherineNikita yes, I was. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be back.

If you recall, Jeremy recently posted that WWE’s reason for granting Kharma’s release was that they had nothing creatively for her. This idea boggles even the Corkiest of minds, which shows you the depths of stupidity of the current WWE writing staff. If you can’t make plans for a 200-pound evil-looking black chick in a world full of pin-up dolls and airheads, you need to find another line of work, maybe one where you understand, “I like my fries crispy, keep them in the grease for six minutes instead of five.”

In other lady news, according to Prowrestling.net, the profile of Velvet Sky (a/k/a Hot Stuff McGee) has been taken off and then put back on TNA’s ImpactWrestling.com Web site. Vel Vel is dealing with contract issues thanks to Bruce Prichard, talent relations extraordinaire, asking talent to restructure the terms and lengths of their deals. Sky could pull a Brian Pillman circa the “Cowboy” Bill Watts years and tell Prichard that she’ll be the highest paid Knockouts jobber on the roster, or she could grab the next ticket to Stamford, Conn., and pick up her friend and former WWE developmental wrestler Angelina Love on the way to really shake things up. Or she could grab the next ticket to Des Moines, Iowa, and rub her vagina on my middle rope, if you know what I mean. (Because, you see, that’s what she did in TNA, so don’t be accusing me of lewdness, you pricks.) -Eric

%d bloggers like this: