Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I’m almost playing catch up, but the show is going live. I’m way too close to the TV but it’s smaller than mine so it helps to make up the difference. Sort of. I love the glitch of starting the show too early. Wouldn’t normally catch that. That’s what you get, slick observations when I start on time. Let’s roll.

My girl appreciates that John Cena isn’t doing a Star Wars parable but that is all about this promo. I concur. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Nothing happens before CM Punk shows up. Bryan was not at his best. OK, good come back by Bryan. Chris Jericho is next on deck. Jericho’s hair does look a bit Bon Jovi these days. He’s doing a good job too. Kane comes out to kill the segment. Even the girl knows that Kane keeps losing. She knows people’s pyro too. Big Show is the next one out. They brawl. Big Show sort of looks tough but didn’t crush everyone.

David Otunga & Cody Rhodes are teaming with Young Money against Christian, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston & R Truth. Wow, this is just a way to get people on TV with no regard to any type of a story. We’re getting a commercial out of a throw away match, really? Kofi is taking the beating for the faces. Santino is the hot tag against David Otunga. AW pulls back Young Money. Rhodes leaves too. The Funkasaurus comes out to distract Otunga. Santino gets the win with the Cobra. Brodus Clay can not feel good that he has a feud with Otunga. Teddy Long is dancing when Alberto Del Rio comes into his “rightful” office. He begs for a rematch. Del Rio gets a match with the Raw anniversary wrestler.

I have to watch these Raw anniversary segments. Bad part of going live. This segment with Vince & Shane was pretty funny even when it was a rip off of the Rocky montages from various movies. Alberto Del Rio is taking on Sin Cara who gets ambushed. It’s a great way to put over Del Rio without hurting Sin Cara. Make no mistake though, Sin Cara is on the outs. AJ gets to talk to Daniel Bryan first. Damn, she is getting some camera time, yo. AJ nails a promo. She is earning the time. Paul Heyman is on Satellite, next!

Of course we get replay of Heyman getting punched by HHH. Brock Lesnar is making his announcement at the 1000th Raw. The peanut gallery notices the shameless promotion of the WWE to get you to watch another show. I liked the promo but they both thought it was boring. No new fans still.

Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler are taking on AJ & Sheamus. I’m not a fan of mixed tag matches. At least the guys start. I hate the no sell by the heel woman then tag in the guy to start the match. No reason to waste these two guys on this match though. They’ve had enough contests already. Fuck Smackdown tomorrow. My girl doesn’t have a DVR and I’ve got no power. Piss off. AJ wins in short order. Dolph is a champ at selling. Looked like he was dead after that Brogue Kick to the floor. AJ implies flipping her lid when CM Punk tells her he wasn’t watching her match.

Heath Slater gets to take on another old timer. I was wrong earlier. Of course Doink comes out when Slater starts saying clown a lot. Slater has a chance to win this one, right? DDP comes out after Slater does get a win. The crowd remembers him some how. You saw the Diamond Cutter coming miles away. I’m not going to buy No Holds Barred but I wouldn’t mind watching it. The peanut gallery is not pleased that it’s only ten.

Kane takes on Big Show in a no DQ match. I guess this will give the Big Show a longer match. And it plays out sort of that way. Kane needs a little more love in my book. Big Show wins with a spear. Eve Torres, who was in AJ’s spot not that long ago, runs into her after talking to Teddy Long. Eve was fine. AJ delivers again.

Alberto Del Rio likes another great segment. I’d love for someone to note some random nothing segment. Tensai gets to suck for a segment with Tyson Kidd. Are we, as I explain Tensai’s fake face tattoo, Tyson Kidd wins with a quick roll up. Sakamoto is taking another beating. The crowd still doesn’t care. I was wondering if they forgot about this angle. Another catch phrase off between Daniel Bryan & Chris Jericho.

Tensai & Tyson Kidd get a filler segment since both of them need a lot more time before the MITB PPV. Chris Jericho is the first one out. Daniel Bryan, then Punk, right? Yep, Cena may have to follow his lead but he’s also following his entrance. Cena is selling for Jericho after the break. Bryan gets to take over for the Cena beating. Good on Cena. We know he’s making a come back. The peanut gallery asks me if the come back will happen after I type it. They have both watched too much wrestling already. And we’re getting the CM Punk hot tag. The Punk cool off happens too. Bryan kicks out after a superplex. AJ comes out again. They rightly ignore her. I mean, you’re ignoring the rest of the crowd for the most part. AJ sets up a table. Cena & Jericho are getting into Edge Coffee Break territory unless they fought to the back earlier. AJ looks like she’s going to jump. She kisses Punk then tosses him & Daniel Bryan thru the table. Nice work on her. She hasn’t gotten to Trish length of reign yet but she’s the last woman to get this much air time. The peanut gallery likes the Raw extended commercial. I agree but then we argue as to whether someone else scripted the commercial because it was so funny. I agree but there’s no way they farmed it out, right? -Kevin

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