Kurt Angle scratched from Waterloo hall of fame, I may come back alive

The bullet I just dodged.

(Listen to Dusty and Jeremy laugh with glee at the idea of Kurt Angle murdering me with his bare hands.) According to PWTorch.com, Kurt Angle will no longer appear at this weekend’s George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions in Waterloo, Iowa, due to obligations with TNA (as if they didn’t know about this in advance to let him off the hook; I mean, come on, you want your top guy to be happy, so let him go to the place with an abundance of his two favorite things, black chicks and drugs). Angle was scheduled to be inducted into the hall of fame this year (and may still be, although in years past, the museum’s general rule was to only induct those who could appear in person). So while this is bad news for the many people who planned to travel to meet Angle and share in this special event, I personally couldn’t be happier, as now he won’t be able to kill me for my years of asshole posts about him. (Unless he sends Bob Holly after me.) -Eric – er, Jeremy -I mean, Justin Labar

Headlines: WWE touts Tout Tuesdays, street thug Batista to direct rap video, PAC signs with WWE

About as street as a dandelion on a summer day.

According to Prowrestling.net, new social media video platform Tout has come to an agreement with WWE, leading WWE to promote Tout Tuesdays, to begin the Tuesday after the 1,000th episode of Monday Night Raw. In short, Tout is a way to record and post 15-second videos in near-real time; I accidentally ran across Tout yesterday and saw Zack Ryder’s face on the front page and knew I was in a good place. The plan seems to be for WWE superstars to post frequent videos and interact with fan Tout videos. Good for Joey Styles and team for being up on the possible next big thing in social media. Now, the catch is to corral all of the best toothless fan promos to come, which is where the real value in this comes from.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Dave Bautista, better known to wrestling fans as Dave Batista, will direct a rap video for the Alchemist. Batista, the son of Filipino immigrants who was stealing automobiles by the age of 13, is currently about as street as, well, any millionaire who sleeps around on his cancer-ridden wife could be. So it only makes sense that Batista, a guy responsible for so many memorable hours of television programming, will direct a video. Frankly, I’d rather see him direct heavy, drunken traffic, but that’s neither here nor there.

Finally, according to PWTorch.com, PAC has officially signed a developmental deal with WWE. PAC is an independent wrestling standout who uses the nickname “The Man That Gravity Forgot,” which means the first time someone smells pot smoke within 20 yards of him, he’ll be suspended for a month. Good luck, PAC! -Eric

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