Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I got my new DVR set up for baby momma drama since he has a 49″ TV in the basement. I barely got the dogs walked in time to start this blog on time. Since they’re in Las Vegas, instead of showing one of the casinos, I’m going to give you the product that the Venetian is modeled after. Welcome to the Doge’s Palace in Venice, Italy. Enough babbling, at least from me. Let’s roll.

CM Punk gets a victory speech. Hmm, would not have remembered that Punk made the speech in Vegas. Big Show interrupts him. Show gives him his speech since changing to a heel. Punk replies with Cody Rhodes speech from the build up to Wrestlemania. Any one can say that they’re going to be the one to beat up the champ that will cost them the belt. I will not be watching the first Raw on Youtube.

I’m glad Mitchell pointed out that the Primetime Players didn’t look that way last night. I had forgotten the other two were the champs. I’m trying to remember who used the manager mic last time around. I’m happy for the commercial break so that I can finish eating dinner. I choose to clean while the cable guy was here instead of eating. Damn it, one more piece. I thought the mic gig was funny the last time. Abe is not doing the trick for me. I look at Twitter for five seconds and Truth pins O’Neil for the win. Abe flips out for some reason. AJ is texting when Daniel Bryan comes into the picture. Bryan is apologizing when Eve Torres interrupts. She tries to be saucy.AJ backs away from Goat Boy but still lets him kiss her cheek. Looks like she’s off the Punk scent.

Alberto Del Rio takes on Zack Ryder. Is this a get heat back match or is Ryder starting to go in the right direction? Del Rio wins in a squash match. Fabulous. Rey Mysterio makes a reappearance. I had pretty much forgotten about him. Rey dials up a 619. I think Del Rio’s feud with him was the only time I liked ADR. Why is Cool welcoming Rey back? He’s a baby face. You should hate him for attacking Del Rio unprovoked.

Heath Slater is in the ring when we come back from commercial. Rikishi is this week’s “legend”. He gets a solid response. Bansai Drop for the win. Rinse, repeat. And we get a dance routine with the Usos. The response is not as good as the Funkasaurus.

Eve Torres comes out to announce her tag team partner. The crowd goes for hussy. The Miz is her tag team partner. Is Bryan going baby face again? The guys start the match off. AJ tags herself in. Eve dominates. AJ takes over but the Miz distracts the ref. A second distraction gets another win for AJ. Bryan says that he loves AJ. She accepts the ring. And according to Twitter, we get a wedding ceremony next week. Damn, I was hoping to crash the party. Too short notice now.

Jack Swagger gets to lose to Ryback. Wow, he’s dropping even further down the list. Swagger needs to get help from someone on the outside to get out of this hole. He gets a surprising amount of offense before Ryback goes on offense. The crowd is fat and wants to be fed more.

John Cena is pimping Tout again. Glad he’s getting his video packages in still. Vickie Guerrero introduces Mr. KSU Dolph Ziggler. They’re trying a new gimmick. Vickie becomes a squawk box. Not a good plan. Chris Jericho and his skinny jeans come down to the ring. Ziggler shuts him down as soon as Jericho’s ready to talk. Vickie is a second or third wheel that is so unnecessary. Full on face turn for Jericho is on a platter right now. Jericho’s silence has been his best promo in a while. Code Breaker to end the verbal assault. Please stop wearing those jeans.

You’re a tool if you Touted the WWE already. I know you’re not really listening to me, WWE. The Funkasaurus is up. I love two dance acts in one show. I did call my momma today. I hadn’t filled her in on the Baby Momma Drama yet. It feels a bit strange talking about someone in that situation when they’re beside you.

Smackdown gets it’s one Raw commercial for the week to pimp the Peep Show the the wedding couple. JTG looks like just another wrestler. What a terrible choice. JTG gets some offense by attacking the knee. About as surprising as Swagger’s offense earlier. I’m all for squash matches, but it’s getting out of control. Two long matches per show then the rest are squashes.

Time for our second long match of the night. I love the hype of Cena cashing in the title tonight. The way they’re pimping Raw 1000, I’d put my bet on Cena cashing it in next week. Big Show with the big offense early. Whoever keeps yelling from the crowd is getting in some solid material. Punk is playing David much better than anyone recently. I’m laughing at him being the first person to duck the WMD. Big Show isn’t exactly the fastest guy. Punk is a little cartoony with the reactions tonight. I’m giving him a pass. because I’m still laughing. Punk gets the cheap rope break. Ref push for the DQ. I didn’t think Punk would get a clean win. John Cena makes the save with the briefcase. Cena challenges Punk to a title match next week. -Kevin

Advertisements

2 Responses

  1. Was it sad that I had Ginuwine “In Those Jeans” running through my head when Jericho came out? Damn, I think I need to put myself in time out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: