Kelly Kelly released from WWE

Emotion one of two.

Boy if this isn’t bad news on young  Eric’s wedding day. Kevin and I agreed last night before we got tore up, and boy did we, that it  was in Eric’s best interest that we hide this  info until he at least gets through the reception. Oh, sorry, Kelly Kelly was granted her release from WWE. Yes this is crushing news for people who like stick thin blonde women who scream like banshees which Eric is one of.

I never understood the appeal of Kelly Kelly. Sure she is an attractive woman but there was never any apparent personality to go along with it? Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to ask for anything other than a put upon “oh no you didn’t” walk and a smile? -Jeremy

Site Update- Wedding Bells

The site here is going to be a bit slow over the next few days as we are all in Iowa to celebrate Eric’s wedding. Yes, someone was dumb enough to say yes to his proposal. Of course none of us have actually seen his fiancee in anything but pictures. Eric is rather handy with the Photoshop so is it really that far fetched that he stalked some woman’s Facebook page and cut himself in to her pictures? They have pictures of cats with sniper rifles that appear real after all.

Look all I am trying to say is that we could possibly have been duped and this is some sort of ritualistic suicide ceremony disguised as a wedding. Shit, all that money wasted when I  could have just killed myself at home. Ya know, so the parents would find me. -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #201

Changes are afoot at Stunt Granny so Dusty & Kevin are here to talk about them. Who suggested this change? Who pushed to make the change immediately? Are the guys going to abandon wrestling? Of course not. Kevin’s girlfriend is ready to though after four months of watching WWE Raw. What did she diagnose that Kevin found so funny? Is it a familiar complaint? Why is the WWE oblivious the myriad of problems when a novice can spot them? Dusty & Kevin move on to talking about some of the positives of Raw. How did they rank the segments with CM Punk, Paul Heyman, Mick Foley and John Cena? Does Dusty still have contempt for Foley? Is the power couple of CM Punk and Paul Heyman working? What could John Cena do to help remedy some of the problems that novices can point out? They move into a lighting round and talk about Jim Cornette as a baby face commissioner. Is his gimmick as bad as a heel GM? Dusty & Kevin finish by talking about Austin Aries going heel to fight Jeff Hardy. Who gets a guest shout out for posting about this topic on the Stunt Granny Facebook page? Find that out and more when you click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #201

The “Macho Man” Randy Savage Gets A Jordan Shoe

From Sneakerfiles.com by way of Prowrestling.net comes the most exciting piece of wrestling related outerwear since Jeff Hardy started doing his own shirts. Of course none of the major wrestling leagues came up with this idea. Nike does have some experience with horrendous design ideas (See just about any Oregon Ducks football outfit) but this one gets nailed with a double axe handle off the top rope. The neon colors are spot on without over doing it. You’ve got the laces (top) and soles (bottom) in neon green/yellow. The interior of the shoe is this color but unless you’re wearing them, it will have little bearing on how they look. It would have helped to make the Jordan figure neon green/yellow instead of red since the design doesn’t use it anywhere else. There are plenty of examples of the Jordan symbol color matching with the design so it isn’t always red. The inset panels are the fantastic purple and pink checker board that “Madness” used on a regular basis. I would think some form of pink needs to be included in any Savage tribute because I remember any number of his trunks with pink in them. I love that the checker board flows with the panels shape so the distortions are different all around the panel. I know it’s hacky but I’d give these shoes an “Ooooooh yyyyeaaahhh!” -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I had to lead off with one of the more ridiculous things my room mate has ever said to my girlfriend. Really, he has a whole lot of those but this one happened on Saturday. We were getting ready to go see Jim Norton over at the Funny Bone so I was making some pasta and tomato sauce. If anyone has read this column before, you know it’s a regular practice. As the sauce was cooking, I went up to take a shower leaving her down here to keep things in order. Roomie shows up plowed out of his mind (thanks to his brother in law. The one attached to the baby momma and the only reason he’s living in my basement. We’ll get to that insanity some other time.) and tells my girl that he taught me everything I knew about wine. Evidently he invited me over to his place to take informal classes and was taught how to pick my wines. He then decided to give the tomato sauce a little stir and told her “It wasn’t thick enough.” I was told this while we drove to the Funny Bone and I had quite a hearty laugh. I didn’t ever go over to his place for wine classes. I got most of my wine knowledge when I lived near Tuscan vineyards. We actually had a class on it while I was studying in Florence. As for his critique of my tomato sauce, he was correct but that’s only because it hadn’t cooked the proper length of time yet. What a dolt. Let’s roll.

Two referees in two weeks. What the hell is going on in Vince’s world? Is he that stuck on the NFL’s terrible referees? After a brow beating by CM Punk, Paul Heyman does it too. Vince is stuck on the NFL. Their ratings aren’t in the toilet. My girl doesn’t think the short shorts are GM leg wear. I beg to differ. AJ Lee sends him the ref to the back. I am pretty tired of the employees running things in wrestling. Punk re-shows the video of AJ proposing to him. Punk is being a real creep. That’s a good thing. Paul, you’re not going to trump any of those power couples. Just knock it off. Does the board not watch when sexual harassment is going on?

We get more referee TV time. The WWE keeps forgetting how many wrestlers they have on the roster. AJ promises to fire him while looking out into space. I like her acting but still don’t care for the story line of “Let’s fire every GM every show.” We have a Twitter fight turned into a wrestling match. Dolph Ziggler is taking on Kofi Kingston who is apparently still in a tag team since R Truth comes to the ring with him. Can’t someone take this loss to Ziggler that isn’t in a big tag team? From the tweets, it looks as made up as any bad WWE story. All story, little match before the break.

I want to break my lap top when Criss Angel weighs in on Lil’ Jimmy. Kofi is not helping out the quality of the match. Ziggler seems to be a little out of place on some of these moves too. Kofi is one of the few guys who could get the rise out of the crowd that he did since it’s believable he could win. Zig Zag for the win after a couple of near falls. Jim Ross & Mitchell Cool tell us about John Cena‘s injury. He’s going to give us a live update.

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Alex Riley is on the shelf

Damn, Alex Riley had a bunch of different surgical procedures performed last week according to Alex Riley’s Twitter via Prowrestling.net . He had surgery on his elbow and knee and both are going to keep him out of action, well, um, as short as humanly possible. Here is hoping he has a prescription to cure invisibility because no one has seen his ass in months.

God damn we need to change our format soon, This newz shit is killing me.- Jeremy

Beth Phoenix is leaving WWE

Strong, sexy, confident. Totally not marketable

Well, certainly didn’t see this coming. Beth Phoenix has given notice she is leaving the company, according to Prowrestling.net.  Since her contract details were never brought up before it is safe to say this is a tad bit of a surprise. She clearly will end up in TNA and that isn’t necessarily a good thing but a paycheck is a paycheck.

Boy, WWE really doesn’t give a fuck about the women’s division. Yeah this will come across like your typical internet bitch session but facts are facts. Michael Cole called Layla one of the most important divas champions ever. The let Kharma go supposedly because they had nothing for her. They gave the Bella’s the boot and, well, ok two out of three.

Really though with their use of Eve Torres, Beth became expendable. You can’t have two strong women characters on the roster. What would that show if all of the women weren’t rail thin screaming bitches? Other than interesting of course. -Jeremy

HHH In The NFL? Edge joins Twitter. Spike & TNA Make It Official.

Who’s doing quad exercises at the gym tonight?

I was telling my girl about gruesome wrestling injuries the other day. I told her about HHH blowing his quad and seeing it ravel up in his leg on live TV. It turns out I wasn’t the only one thinking about it recently. According to Prowrestling.net, Adam Carriker of the Washington Redskins was thinking about it when he was looking up at the lights of the Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, his former employer. We wish him a speedy recovery, unlike the dance of joy we did when HHH was injured and couldn’t big foot the roster for a full year.

Adam “Edge” Copeland has joined the ranks of those on Twitter with the handle @EdgeRatedR. We started following him from our @Stuntgranny account. I’m sure he’ll start following us right after we miss his next appearance on Haven or Sanctuary on SyFy. Yes those are real shows on a real cable network. Trust us.

The officials of TNA & Spike TV continue to spin more than either presidential campaign when they talked about the extension of the live programming officially through the end of 2012 by stating

The move to broadcasting LIVE has been a ratings boon and has provided a significant rise in the show’s social media presence on Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Ratings boon huh? Let’s take a gander at the ratings over on Gerweck.net, shall we? They went live on May 31st so the week before that they had a 1.01 which is less than stellar. Then they pulled a 0.9 for the first live show. Hmmm, I’m good at math so I’m positive that rating is going in the negative direction. The following weeks they went from anywhere between 0.85 to 1.09. Maybe I’m concentrating on the first part too much. I bet they’re making tons of money off their Facebook page and Twitter account just like we are. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio Show #200

Wow! What a special edition of Stunt Granny Audio! We made it to 200 (and change, let’s be honest here), and we brought the four-man pain! Dusty, Jeremy, Kevin and Eric discuss CM Punk vs. John Cena headlining WWE Hell in a Cell, the Daniel Bryan-Kane tag team being an indicator of the current-day tag team scenario, TNA Impact Wrestling being re-upped for three more months of live TV (and we want to know why), and even Chikara’s King of Trios weekend, featuring, yes, Meng, the Barbarian, the Warlord, and Aldo “Tell Me When on the Parmesan” Montoya. All that, and the Mount Rushmore of Snack Foods, if you’d just click to listen! It’s special! Very special! As special as a two-headed girl!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #200

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

After reading the results for Ring of Honor’s iPPV, I was wondering if you could tell which of these two guys are tag team champions and which one is the ROH World Champion? I’m also wrapping up this past week’s edition of #WatchROH and they’re showing parts of the Eddie Kingston vs. Kevin Steen. Are they trying to say “Hey, if you don’t want to work out and are average at best in the ring, you too can get a shot at our title?” What a dreadful product. Even if they come here, I’m not spending money on those fools. I did spend money on the WWE this past week though. Luckily I have PSL tickets for the Columbus Bluejackets (Well if they have a season) so I got a nice little deal on the expensive seats. I’m happy to be giving these fools as little of my money as possible. Time for Raw. Let’s roll.

Paul Heyman comes out to explain the finish of last night’s main event between CM Punk and John Cena. The dog and pony show even includes Chad Patton, our ref. Gasp, the horror. They mentioned an official. You should never do that. they never mention the refs at NFL games, especially this year with replacement refs. Cena comes out to talk. Glad Cena can recycle an old shirt by slapping a new slogan and color on it. After Cena cuts a good promo, Alberto Del Rio comes out to suck the air out of the building. Now he’s the man that never lies. That isn’t going to help your character. AJ Lee makes a tag team main event with the participants from the main events last night.

Jerry Lawler gets to Tout along with having some home coming to Memphis footage later. JBL makes his big entrance to not much reaction. Jim Ross joins them too and gets a real reaction. Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara are in a tag team match again. Five seconds into their match against Epico & Primo with her hotness Rosa Mendes. I miss JR less than a minute after the break. Sin Cara nails the Swanton Bomb for the win. The WWE is doing their best to get Sin Cara into a place to foster his confidence. Darren Young & Titus O’Neil attack them from behind. O’Neil making a solid point but they need something more. We get the rematch no one wanted from Night of Champions with the tag titles back up for grabs.

Layla El is in the announce booth as Beth Phoenix waits to take on the new Diva’s Champion Eve Torres. Layla is finally smelling what Eve is cooking. Beth continues to be a jobber. JBL is off a little bit but making a nice “Go get ’em” speech.

Antonio Cesaro is down in the announce booth. I buzzed thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. The five different language thing is stupid. Heath Slater takes advantage of the Cesaro distraction but only gets two. Head butt then splash for the win. Cesaro didn’t make a good impression with his time as JR would say.

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