Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I was going to do an introduction but it’ll have to wait because CM Punk is already in the middle of a ridiculous promo to open the show. I know that heels are supposed to play up a dirty finish but this is so ludicrous. Punk claims he didn’t collaborate with the referee. Punk starts to make his case for how bad Brad Maddox is as a referee. That’s a little firmer footing. It still doesn’t make the whole act stupid. I mean, can people be that delusional? The sad answer is probably yes. Mick Foley hits the ring for a surprise appearance. I wonder if it has to do with Punk calling Vickie the GM of Raw. Punk talking about Foley’s garbage wrestling very well. Already hyping Survivor Series, Team Foley vs Team Punk. Ryback gets a chance to talk. Punk is hiding already so no mic time for Ryback.

JTG is the sacrificial lamb to Ryback. JTG is smaller but closer in size than I expected. I read some of Dusty’s article below during the match. Ryback has mic time with Josh Matthews. Feed Me Punk. The WWE loves the chant these days. They have showed an awful lot of a pay per view I purchased. Both championship match material too.

Randy Orton gets another match against Wade Barrett. I still haven’t read all of Dusty’s article but I don’t think Del Rio has any upside. They’ve given that dude far too much time already near the top of the heap and he’s done nothing with it. What fun would it be if we all agree, right? Nice to see JR & Cool pointing out Barrett watched HIAC since we know it’s taboo to watch the product. Orton in control at the break. Strangely enough, after the break Barrett is in control. I agree with Dusty about Orton’s staleness but think the crowd’s reaction to him tonight is the reason he’s sticking around. Orton with an RKO win over Barrett. Not a fan but expected it. Ideally Barrett would beat Orton at a PPV anyway to put a real stamp of approval on him. AJ Lee is in Vickie‘s office. She taunts her over giving her job back. Vickie asks for AJ’s biggest weakness. Vickie taunts with the crazy word.

I don’t regret FF thru Kane & Daniel Bryan‘s ring entrances. The Prime Time Players are their opponents. Um, they lost last night. They shouldn’t be awarded with a match with the champs. I’m loving PTP’s trunks. Bryan takes the pain for his team again. Kane gives Young a chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and submits Young.

They show Brad Maddox blowing Punk’s earlier match then showing him low blowing Ryback. Vickie comes down with her hacky act. She introduces John Cena. It’s past footage day on Raw! Hey, everyone watches wrestling all of a sudden. Who wears their wrestling t shirt to a business dinner? They pull out elevator footage. Oh Vickie, you’re so evil. You get to stir the pot. Dolph Ziggler comes out to do more stirring. So all of the footage Vickie had to get AJ fired was from last week after she was fired? What kind of ass backwards logic is that?

Antonio Cesaro is in the ring while the Miz gets to stew about something at the announce booth. We get a candy PSA. Kofi Kingston is his opponent. Why are these two wrestling each other? The Miz gets to complain about losing to Kingston more. This is a product of these three guys being the entire midcard in the WWE. Mitchell Cool is grilling the Miz. High amusement when Cool calls himself a defender. Cesaro gets dumped on the Miz. Kofi tosses Cesaro back into the ring. Cesaro joins the beat down. R Truth makes the save. Wow, he looked strong. The suit isn’t working for him. Why are both teams being picked by the end of the night? Can’t we stretch it out a little bit?

AJ Lee gets grilled by Vickie Guerrero. AJ gives a good dignity speech. Of course Vickie hires her. Then books her in a match against Beth Phoenix. I guess she’s still around. Behind the Music: With 3MB. They go ridiculous. Oh crap, I’m laughing. It’s still got to short of a shelf life. Zack Ryder & Santino Marella are taking them on next. That was a terrible hook. Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater are the team.. Matching ring gear for 3MB. Dig it. Zack Ryder takes the beat down. Santino gets the hot tag against Slater. McIntyre with the distraction. Slater gets the pin after something. I didn’t hear a name but feels like it has one.

They are still trying to push Main Event. It can’t last long. AJ is in the ring against Beth Phoenix. AJ tries to hurt Beth with no luck. Beth goes power but for some reason can’t kick out of a small package. Vickie demands more from her. Beth attacks her from behind. Vickie is doing what AJ did to get fired. On TV. Why does the Board of Directors make their whims go here and there? Fucking dumb inconsistent bastards.

I FF thru more Punk/Foley replay. Sheamus hits the ring for a promo. He is disappointed. He gives Big Show props. Sheamus came here to fight. I really liked this match last night. Sheamus wants him some more. He wants the strap back where it belongs. The Big Show comes to the ring. He blows Sheamus back. Show says that Sheamus lit a fire he can’t put out. Sheamus already getting some pop back. He’s going to be just fine without the belt.

John Cena is talking to AJ. Of course Vickie is nearby. Doesn’t she have a job to do? Vickie cans Beth Phoenix. Wow, they did that on screen. Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara are taking on Rhodes Scholars for some reason. Rey’s outfit is pretty awesome. Sin Cara shows up Sandow early. Cody ends up getting some beat down. Rey goes on the sell. Nice flippy spots into commercial. That’s what I call a hook. Took them long enough. Rey Mysterio gets the hot tag. Sandow with a nice cheap shot to turn the tide back. The giant Punk head in the background was awesome. Hadn’t noticed it yet. Sin Cara gets a hot tag. He gets a two count on Sandow. Sin Cara misses the shortest ever Swanton. Terminus by Sandow for the win. Good deal. Mick Foley shills with Kaitlyn. Paul Heyman warns him. Fair enough segment.

John Cena gets to present a giant check to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. It’s for a million dollars. Good for them. It’s nice but I FF thru the acceptance speech.

Alberto Del Rio is taking on Justin Gabriel. Completely agree with Dusty’s thoughts on Gabriel. Like the in ring work. He’s got no character. Nice arm break across the rope by Del Rio. JR really doing a sell job on Del Rio. Solid match that ends with a cross arm breaker by Del Rio. Glad he gets chance number twelve.

Paul Heyman gets to babble to CM Punk. He talks up the Miz as his first teammate. Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow are the next two out. Alberto Del Rio gets the last spot. Punk gets a short promo that does nothing for me. Mick Foley gets a short promo. Kofi Kingston is the first pick. Team Hell No is sure to be in the mix. Randy Orton is on the list. Check. We know the last pick. Punk babbles like Foley is in the match. Ryback scares off Punk. Team Foley wins the opening brawl. Not as bad as I expected. -Kevin

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