Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Smackdown

The Miz kicks off the show in his home town. Mick Foley gets to bring his team down. They at least let the Miz still be pissed at Kofi. Good deal. Kane and Bryan bicker. Miz and Kofi bicker. Randy Orton becomes the voice of reason. He doesn’t help. My boy Dolph Ziggler comes out to brag and rag. Alberto Del Rio objects to Ziggler’s leadership. Mick Foley proposes matches. Damien Sandow gets to blame Kane for Cody Rhodes’s injury. Kofi challenges Sandow so that he can be concussed too.

They start the match after the break. How nice of them. Josh Matthews does a great job of selling for Rhodes too. JBL berating Matthews is a perfect tandem. Kofi Kingston nails a suicide diver before another commercial. Sandow is in control after the break. The Elbow of Disdain is such a fun name. Kofi starts it up. Kofi gets two off a sloppy spring board cross body. Sandow rolls up Kofi for the win.

Natalya, Kaitlyn and Layla El are taking on Aksana, Alicia Fox and Eve Torres. I love Smackdown because I can FF thru large chucks of replays. It goes quick. Matthews is doing a good job of grilling JBL about the (obviously) fake phone calls Vickie put together. Kaitlyn pins Fox for the win. She’s got the title shot so it had to happen. They’re pushing Survivor Series big time. Booker T talks to in the garage. He tells Sheamus that Big Show isn’t going to show up if Sheamus prowls the perimeter. Booker tells him to keep it in check for 48 hours. Booker getting tough.

The Miz & Randy Orton team against Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio. The Miz and Ziggler start the match. The heels have it but it’s way too quick for this match. Good plan to bring out the Miz in his hometown. Weird that they didn’t humiliate him. The Miz nails the Skull Crushing Finale on a blind tag. Randy Orton is not pleased.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

It’s been a Kevin heavy week with me attending Raw, actually getting to Prime Wrestling and now having a Friday devoid of my girl I get to do more reviews. TNA has gotten the short end of the stick recently around these parts. So even though I watched a little of it last night, I’m starting fresh for this review.

I didn’t hear much of this James Storm promo last night because Baby Momma Drama wouldn’t stop talking. I didn’t miss much. Not bad but no meat to it. Bobby Roode interrupts. He has much more meat on his end. I like it. I like it even more after their scuffle and him talking Storm into a dumb match. Hulk Hogan talks about AJ Styles’s frustration. Hogan points out that he’s his own worst enemy. So it was his idea to put him into a never ending feud that ended abruptly and was terrible 75% of the time for the last year? I don’t think so.

DOC gets to defend himself. He points out all of the beatings he’s been dishing out. Devon picks someone by dart. I’d whoop his ass in Cricket. Kid Kash gets a shot at the TV Title because he’s on the roster. Not sure the last time I saw him win. RVD is doing the selling early. This match has been terrible. Both of them look at fault for it. RVD with the frog splash. Yawn. Eric Young is talking up his show, except for not using the name. ODB is still horny.  The whole act has lost some momentum.

Kurt Angle talks to Garrett and whoever the other guy is. I watch every week. Wes evidently. No wonder I don’t remember it. Jesse is taking on Young. The ladies are at ring side. EY pays too much attention to ODB whooping on Tara. Jesse catches him with a super stunner for the win.

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Headlines: Kofi to appear on Disney, WWE on “The Soup,” Kelly Kelly on TMZ

According to Prowrestling.net, Kofi Kingston will appear on Disney XD’s “Kickin’ It.” A) No way that just because Linda McMahon lost her Senate race, WWE is leaving its PG-rating audience. B) This makes me wonder what Jason Powell has his Google Alerts set to, “kofi kingston” or “disney xd.”

Also according to Prowrestling.net, WWE will be featured on E!’s “The Soup” this Wednesday at 10:30p/9:30p Central, and again on USA after the 11/26 Monday Night Raw. “The Soup” is hilarious. WWE is not. WWE is especially not hilarious when trying to write “better” comedy for actual hilarious things. This could either be a trainwreck or the greatest thing Joel McHale has done since waking up this morning.

Finally, according to TMZ.com (by way of Prowrestling.net and also something I saw on Twitter yesterday), Kelly Kelly, aka Barbie Blank, blew a tire on her way to a bikini calendar photo shoot, and she changed the tire herself so she wouldn’t be late. It should come as no surprise that she can change a tire since she used to travel with a bunch of pansy-ass WWE wrestlers, who fly in planes and hire tour bus drivers. Harley Race would have ripped off that flat tire and ate it out of spite. The best part about the TMZ article is the reference to “busted rubber.” The worst part is that the sentence didn’t also say things like “Eric” and “inside her.” Better luck next time. -Eric

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