Headlines: John Cena MRI shows that he’s a meathead, Chris Jericho to host fighting robot show

Knee injuries (to good-looking women) suck.

According to Prowrestling.net, John Cena had an MRI on the knee he tweaked on WWE Monday Night Raw, and he Tweeted:

MRI was typical good news bad news scenario. I’ve dealt with knee issues for the past few years, I’ll add one more to that list. I know the risks of what can happen to me and I’m willing to play the odds.

So rather than let his body heal, which is for the best in the long run, he’d rather white-knuckle-grasp his top spot as usual. Sure, Dolph Ziggler could benefit in the eyes of traditional fans by working with Cena, but WWE could also let an injury be an injury angle and put some heat on a guy who’s about to lose to Cena on a Z-level pay-per-view. Hell, even Hulk Hogan took a few months off after Earthquake sat on him, and they stretched that feud out from May 1990 to January 1991. </fantasybooking>

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Chris Jericho just landed a gig as the host of the Robot Combat League series on Syfy, debuting February 26. On Twitter, Jericho referred to it as a “major project.” On Stunt Granny, I referred to it as a big turd in the middle of the carpet. But whatever: I guess when my dog takes a shit in the living room, I don’t get paid for it. Go, Jericho, Go! -Eric

Headlines: Linda McMahon gives staffer a condom, Kaitlyn arrested and something something condom

Did anyone else not know her last name is Bonin? Sounds appropriate…

According to Prowrestling.net, a staff member for Linda McMahon’s U.S. Senate campaign has gone public with a complaint that not only did his paycheck for 16 hours of work bounce, but he was also given a condom and told he was “screwed.” Lots of things going on here. 1) Good job on finding 16 hours of work, Occupier. 2) The McMahons can spend $50 million on a losing campaign but can’t cough up 16 hours x Connecticut minimum wage? 3) Assuming the staffer is also a pro wrestling fan, that condom is the closest he will ever get to sex with a woman.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, WWE Diva Kaitlyn was arrested at (at, not before or after) the WWE Smackdown tapings in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for failure to pay an old speeding ticket. Let this be a lesson to all celebrities who are not important enough for the law to ignore (Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber): If you’re regularly on TV, and your company makes its taping schedule public, you will be caught. Also, this post about Kaitlyn is the closest I will ever get to sex with a woman. -Eric

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