Stunt Granny Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin 1/24/2013 American Horror Story Finale

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Jeremy:  What I find funny is that the finale was the least insane episode of the season in total contrast to the entire run.

Kevin: That is very true.  Although it took me a while to catch onto the theme with the weird Kitt beginning.

Jeremy:  At least this season it seemed like they realized they needed an actual ending.

Kevin: I had a question about the very end, did Lana bargain her way into Briarcliff?

Jeremy: Ok that was one part of the episode I did not understand. It seemed to me that Jude was just warning her.  Now that you mention that I am not sure. It wouldn’t make sense with what she but her through.

Kevin: That’s what I was thinking but wanted to rewatch that part. The rest of the show followed well and didn’t have much of a question.

Jeremy: Seemed like they remembered to give everyone their due and they did it effectively. Poor Kitt couldn’t catch a break though.

Kevin:Not even one.  Was he abducted by aliens too?

Jeremy: At the end for sure. They took him back. I suppose since he was special but damn. No luck at all.

Kevin: Not even a bit. Aside from banging out two chicks

Jeremy: He became sympathetic which was a nice touch from the angry wreck he was at the beginning. Yeah and he should have tried pulling out.  I was just fond of this season finale for the closure. One thing I did find odd was the focus on Lana since Jude seemed to be the main character all season.

Kevin: The closure thing was big. I don’t mind an open ending so long as it makes you think. Last year’s didn’t make you do that. It was different having survivors that could tell a story.  Jude was pretty heavy in the episode.

Jeremy:  Yeah they gave her a proper sendoff. Finding peace finally. Pretty much everything got tied up. Was I the only one hoping for another dance number when Jude died?

Kevin: They did have that very heavenly one earlier in the season. Something like that again would have been appropriate but maybe over kill with her teaching Kitt & the kids how to dance.

Jeremy: Man, you just brought up some lost opportunity there. Of course not having a pinhead nor patients drooling and slapping themselves in the background would have lessened the effect.

Kevin: The patients participating in the earlier dance made that one very weird. They could have set it in hell to make it real freaky.

Jeremy: The Aliens could have finally appeared and broke out the top hats and canes. “Hello my baby. Hello my honey.”

Kevin: That would have been whipped cream with a cherry on top. It’d be more fun to bring in the alien from Aliens instead of the standard egghead aliens Grace was drawing. Whoever did those drawings was excellent. I don’t have shit on them.

Jeremy: Speaking of Grace, boy that girl had a rough time too. No one got out clean. She gets killed, impregnated and resuscitated then axed. Her pregnancy had a gestation time of five minutes for the birth.

Kevin: That was very day time soap level of impregnation. The whole thing had a weird time line actually. They never said much in that department.  Pepper had been dead 2 1/2 years before Kitt saved Jude?

Jeremy: When a fetus is inserted by an alien race is there an established timeline? Yeah poor Pepper.

Kevin: There is no timeline for alien babies.

Jeremy: I have seen Prometheus and that statement is correct. Beautiful stupid movie.

Kevin: We caught that one recently and that is a good summation of it. Love the HR Giger art.

Jeremy: Well yeah, Imagine if a Predator and an Alien show up to take Kitt and have to duke it out while ET just masturbated watching. Then Kitt just falls dead of cancer.

Kevin: ET could at least jerk Kitt off before he dies of cancer.  Maybe it’d cure the cancer at the same time

Jeremy: So are you trying to say ET spooge can cure cancer?

Kevin: His finger could do some powerful stuff. I figure his spooge is like a cure all salve.

Jeremy: Is this the right time to bring up the Cardinal committing suicide? Or should we bring up the fact that Bloodyface Jr. was a giant pussy?

Kevin: That’s two big questions. The first is the fantasy of a writer who was molested by a priest as a child, in my opinion. Not sure why Bloodyface Jr. was such a pussy. His mom was a hard ass and so was his dad.

Jeremy: He gets all whiny at the mention of his mommy. Then he wants to live up to his dad. Pussbag. All of this after lopping off Adam Levine’s arm with a cleaver? Unless it was the revelation that Lana didn’t care about him outside of that one time.

Kevin: The guy wanted breast milk at the age of 48 so he was not exactly on stable ground

Jeremy: I always differ to titties.  I suppose I had this idea of him being legit crazy as in genetic and instead he was looking for mom and dad’s affections ya know.

Kevin: Which is a nice twist. But yeah, the expectations were different for sure on his character

Jeremy: If it was Hayden Christensen I would have had an easier time with it.  Kind of wish Jr. would have put the mask on before she shot him. Just for the visual.

Kevin:  That would have been very cool.

Jeremy:  Yeah and round out the show.

Kevin: Trying to think if there was anything else in those last two episodes. Would it have been too much to ask for the real version of the Angel of Death be the house keeper Dylan McDermott saw last season?

Jeremy: Yeah no shit.  All the sex in this show and the single hottest chick in the history of this program wasn’t back on? I did appreciate the Angel of Death as a lesbian convict though.

Kevin: Yeah, she does a great job as a creepy woman.

Jeremy: I was just happy the show didn’t end with everyone smiling. It at least showed they had an end  in mind this time around.

Kevin: That would have been worse than last year. The depressing end with everyone seemingly finding some solace in their lives was a good ending.

Stunt Granny Audio: 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Preview

It’s time to RRRRUMMMBLLLLLLLEEEE!

It’s another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, this time with Kevin and Eric previewing the upcoming 2013 WWE Royal Rumble. Who is the likely winner of the big Rumble match? Who are the dark horses? How will 2013 compare to classics of the past (1992, 2001) and hot garbage of our nightmares (1995, 2009)? What about the singles matches? Who doesn’t stand at the end of the Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio Last Man Standing match? Who interferes instead of the Shield in the Rock vs. CM Punk match? And which one-time burn victim will have the least facial hair when Kane & Daniel Bryan take on Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow? Will anyone watch the Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro pre-show match? What about favorite memories from Rumbles past? Favorite surprise entrants? The answers may… SURPRISE you! All this and not much more just by clicking below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show- 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Preview

#PrimeWrestling – Season 6 – Episode 9

YouTube-blockedFor some reason, this episode is not on YouTube yet. It’s been more than a week. They usually post it the Tuesday after it airs. Oh well, I’ll replace that picture as soon as I see it posted.

Kirst comes out dressed like Hobo Joe again. He is accompanied by Krimson. Matt Cross was his opponent. Kirst jumped him while he played to the crowd. Cross arm dragged him a couple of times. Cross low bridged Kirst. He followed it with a suicide dive. Kirst turned around an Irish Whip to toss Cross into the guard rail. Kirst attacked him with the collection can while Krimson distracted the ref. Cross back dropped Kirst over the guard rail. They got back into the ring. Kirst ducked Cross and nailed a clothesline. Cross tossed Kirst into the air and flap jacked him. Kirst kicked out at two. Kirst choked Cross on the middle rope. Standing moonsault by Cross was followed with a pin. Kirst tossed Cross into the corner. Kirst dropped a leg. Kirst wasted time mocking Hobo Joe. Cross caught him with a reverse atomic drop. Cross got two after a cross body. Cross gave Kirst the Mortal Combat corner kicks. Kirst suplexed Cross. Kirst went to the top but Cross caught him. Cross went for the Shooting Star Press but Kirst rocked the ropes. Kirst went for a superplex. Cross tossed him away and nailed the SSP for the win. Kirst attacked Cross. Gregory Iron made the save. Ricky Shane Page, Marion Fontaine and Jeremy Madrox attacked. Vic Travagliante was directing traffic.

Analysis: Good match. It did way more for Kirst than any other match. I understand the attack on Cross but it did take away some from Kirst’s showing. Score: +1.

They replaced Gregory Iron being hurt by Kirst last year. Krimson said that every absurdity has a title to defend. Krimson said that Johnny Gargano and Rhino think they have what it takes to stop the Dead Wrestling Society. Krimson said that Gargano doesn’t have it in him. Analysis: Another good promo from this guy. This guy has been awesome. I need the You Tube just to show this promo. Score: +1.

Korey comes out and introduces Michael “The Bomber” Facade. He injured himself in a taping for Extreme Rising pay per view so he can’t wrestle right now. The injury isn’t serious. Facade said he’ll be back in a month. Bobby Shields came out and claimed the Facade was faking it. Shields said that injury wasn’t as traumatizing as it was for him to lose his hair. He lost his identity and dignity. Facade said he wrestled on two broken bones in his foot. Shields stomped on the foot then gave him a thrust kick. Shields attacked the foot with a chair. Shields said that his title reign is just a facade. Shields said the logic belongs to him. Shields said Facade’s read locks were an embarrassment. Shields attacked his ankle with Facade’s cane again. Analysis: Good stuff from Shields. Facade was okay. Korey just seems over eager. Kind of like his day job calls for. I don’t particularly like it. People obviously do. Score: +1.

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2013 Royal Rumble Random Draw Kick-Ass Pick ‘Em (Kinda) Game

We dont worry too much about copyrights around here.

Now now, Dolph, remember, you can only pick either 1 or 2! GUFFAW GUFFAW!

Remember the time when we first met, and when we did that amazing game where you all signed up, then we picked numbers from 1 to 30 out of a Des Moines Buccaneers replica hockey helmet, and whoever had the number of the man who won the Royal Rumble match got bragging rights and a copy of the first “WARRIOR” comic book? Well, Stunt Granny wants to share that fun with you again! For this game (which is totally not affiliated with WWE), all you need to do is leave a comment on this post saying you’re interested in playing. DEADLINE IS 2 P.M. CENTRAL, SUNDAY, JAN. 27.

At that time, one of the Stunt Granny crew (probably Jeremy, since Eric is going to “The Book of Mormon” that day) will randomly draw numbers from 1 to 30 in the order you signed up (don’t worry, the four of us won’t play, although since we’re all tangentially related, it’s all nepotism anyway). Once Jeremy gets to the end of the list, he’ll start from the top again, making this game first-come, first-served. So if 10 people sign up, everyone gets three numbers. If 29 people sign up, everyone gets one number, but the first person to sign up gets an extra number.

Last year’s winner, Missie Bird, has had the privilege of… um… shit, this year’s Rumble snuck up fast, didn’t it? Well, I guess she’s chatted with Kevin on Twitter! Congrats! So sign up today, then order the 2013 WWE Royal Rumble (we’re totally not affiliated with WWE), and take a spot on the edge of your seat!

Stunt Granny Audio Movie Review: Gangster Squad

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Jeremy & Kevin are back to give you a spoiler filled review of Gangster Squad. They try to hold back but aren’t successful. They also start reeling off other movies that the stars have been in because Kevin can’t remember any of them. After giving a refresher on Goonies, they get around to talking about the previews. The Call that was produced by the WWE and is the crux of their preview talk. What was given away in the preview? Jeremy & Kevin finally move on to the movie proper. What delayed this movie from coming out in 2012? What kind of a movie were the guys expecting? What mix of movies did Kevin think this movie represented? How predictable did Jeremy think this movie was? What was the tell for who would die from the squad itself? The boys have seen two long movies (The Hobbit and Django: Unchained) before this one. Would this movie had benefited from additional time? How strong are presents, ornaments and wreaths? What does that have to do with the movie? Find out when you click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Movie Reviews – Gangster Squad

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

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I don’t get off for Martin Luther King Day. At least I have something in common with the WWE wrestlers. I’m starting late after recording about Gangster Squad. Let’s roll.

Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman come out to start the show. Dear lord, toothless man in the front row. If you can afford those tickets, can’t you afford some fake teeth? Paul Heyman lays it on thick as usual. Replay already. And more replay. It wasn’t the Rock‘s best work. I saw somewhere that he doesn’t owe us to change his schtick. That’s fine. Just know that I know it’s recycled material and I will continue to not like it. Cheesiest police set up ever. The police are not the guards at Buckingham Palace. Vickie gets to play the tired, old heel schtick.

Beat The Clock Challenge between Randy Orton and Antonio Cesaro. They love the long start to this challenge then the matches slowly start to resemble normal Raw length matches. Nothing happens before the break. The WWE loves it’s own formulas. I had glazed over the #BeatTheClock stuff until Mitchell Cool pointed it out. He’s doing his job. Since the winner gets to pick their number, a heel wins this challenge, right? RKO out of nowhere for an 11:36 match time. They try to build drama. I’m not biting. Nice of them to give Mick Foley a full career run down. The Shield tries to look like terrorists. They’re just getting started without still having any distinct personality traits or a winning in ring match.

Brad Maddox is going to get more air time than the match between Big Show and Zack Ryder. WMD for a short match. Big Show got screwed in the Beat The Clock challenge.

Brad Maddox gets more air time with Paul Heyman who invites him on board. 3MB is air guitaring. So stupid but somewhat funny. Ryback gets to crush Heath Slater. Heath gets a spoonful of offense. Finish him. Ryback got screwed in the challenge too. He’s got a mic again. The Rock is still jonsesing to get in. Vickie bribed their boss and admitted it on camera. Doesn’t she get arrested now? Why are they wearing the same outfit? Vickie can’t stop laughing at the Rock.

CM Punk gets his promo time. The WWE Title is his life’s work. Punk is doing what he can to make fun of the fans. They don’t seem to be buying it. A solid promo. The content was a little “Eh” to me. I love his facial expressions.

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Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Dredd

Buy two copies.

Buy two copies.

One thing you need to get over before viewing this film is the Lions Gate logo. 90% of the time the movie that follows is total garbage. Much to my surprise this movie falls in the 10% of Lions Gate successes. There is no reason this movie should be half as awesome as it turned out. Sure you need to ignore the incredible similarities to The Raid: Redemption but that movie was completely awesome as well. There really isn’t much to dislike about this flick. The simple structure is laid out just like an arc from the comics. There are concise and deliberate breaks in the story that read as a cliffhanger form issue to issue. It is a nice touch really and wouldn’t mind more comic movies doing the same thing. Yes the plot is a tad thin but the action and the creative use of slow motion/bullet time violence adds a creative touch not seen since the Matrix.  So go out and buy a copy or to on Blu-ray so we get a sequel to this surprisingly fun movie.  -Jeremy

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