Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies has finally happened

Far be it from me to disparage people making a living but god damn I wish wrestlers would save their god damn money. How else do you explain “Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies”? The movie comes to us from writer and director Cody Knotts. He of such other low budget fare “Breeding Farm” and “Lucifer’s Unholy Desire.”   I just don’t understand when you take a meeting for a low budget movie what pitch these guys heard.

“Alright we have this cool premise guys. We mix the world of zombies and pro wrestling. It is going to be just as good as Zombie Strippers I promise. We have a budget of about $370.00 and a boatload of unfulfilled favors to cash in. The shoot will be magic. We have a shooting schedule of about three days so scheduling will be over a holiday weekend. Believe in me when I Say this will get you in to Hollywood that much faster. Well in your case Mr. Piper I should say back in Hollywood. I mean god damn “They Live” was fucking beautiful.  Now just imagine they alley fight scene but with zombies in a prison with all natural lighting and heavy metal music. How awesome right?  Sure it is an exact rip off of The Walking Dead season but the genre is ripe for some creative borrowing. Hell, The Walking Dead is a mashup of a bunch of other zombie movies. So ya with me? You ready to be a star? ”

So it may not have gone just like that but really could it be that much far off? Who needs the work this badly? Judging the entire movie from the trailer, which is the purpose of a trailer so you know, this looks terrible. Shane Douglas actually is kind of funny because he essentially is playing “The Franchise.” Other than that one item this really looks terrible. Kurt Angle continues his stellar acting gigs but there is no chance of improving over “Buffo The Scary Clown“. No really, this clip is genius.  But the acting is not going to be the worst part of this movie.

Was this flick shot with a flashlight and ketchup bottles? Sure the atmosphere appears to be the inside of a prison and if this isn’t a Kubrick experiment using only natural light then boy is this going to be hard to watch. Literally, this is going to be impossible to tell what the hell is happening.  If you can’t see the action then nothing else matters. Wait I get it now this movie is supposed to be some French Existential film on the absurdity of the zombie genre?

It has occurred to me that maybe I am just being a total dick right now. After watching the trailer for the tenth time this could be a fun movie. So let’s cut the jokes and do some actual commentary.

There are some legitimate issues with the trailer. The music is terrible and far too loud. It covers up too much of the dialogue and doesn’t enhance the action. It isn’t a matter of personal music tastes at all but the screeching 80’s metal god voice is not good for the small amount of time given. Just straight music with no lyrics would have been a better choice.  The lighting of the film, from what was presented, is a big problem. Scenes are just too dark. The shadowing makes it difficult to see the action. I am not sure how this can or even will be addressed in post production but it needs some attention. The acting is about what you should expect from a low budget horror flick starring professional wrestlers not named Dwayne Johnson so that gets a pass.

Guess there is not much else to be said until the final product is released. Make sure and stop back on Stunt Granny as it will be reviewed. (Take that as a request  for a screener copy) -Jeremy

Retro Movie Review – The Octagon Starring Chuck Norris

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Ken and Kevin are back with another edition of the Retro Movie Review. Kevin suggested The Octogan after having his memory jogged by Dana White on Joe Rogan’s Podcast. Did Ken get to watch this movie as a child? Did his father approve of Chuck Norris? Why is that even relevant? No one is surprised that Chuck Norris is a bad ass in this movie but what caused this bad ass to turn his back on participating in karate tournaments. There are both mercenary ninjas and terrorist ninjas in this movie. Lee Van Cleef leads the mercenary ninjas. Who leads the terrorist ninjas and what relation does he have? Why aren’t both of these groups one in the same? What did the terrorist ninjas do to get such a reputation? How much of a mystique are put on ninjas in this movie?  Ken & Kevin get around to talking about Chuck Norris’s physique. What contribution did Ken’s wife make? How old was Chuck Norris when he filmed this movie in 1980? If terrorist ninjas were recruiting, where would you look to sign up? What do the terrorist recruits have in common with the rag tag group of cabbies in D.C. Cab? Chuck is slaying the ladies in this movie but who ends up being his true love interest? And how exactly does she help him invade The Octagon? Find that out and more when you click the play button below!

#SippyTimeBeer – Learning On The Job

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So I wondered why 21st Amendment was excited to tout their beer as a session beer since it had low alcohol volume. The beer world wanted me to find out because Zauber tweeted a link not long after I posted my review that linked to a story called Session Beer Revolution on AllAboutBeer.com. To summarize the idea behind a session beer, you have to brew a beer that is between 4-5% according to most experts. The low alcohol content allows one to continue drinking for hours on end without getting too hammered. It was a push back because most craft beers which had a high level of alcohol. To me, it was no coincidence that the article made the reference to IPAs which have a tendency to be the highest in alcohol content of any type of beer. To give a quick example from Great Lakes Brewing Company, my favorite beverage from them is Eliot Ness Amber Lager which has an alcohol content of 6.2%. Their seasonal IPAs are Lake Erie Monster (9.1%), Rye of the Tiger (7.5%), Alchemy Hour Double IPA (9.4%) and their standard IPA Commodore Perry (7.5%) are all higher Eliot Ness. The article continues to talk about beers being closer 9-12% area because of the cost of craft beers and the fact that people are looking for more bang for their buck when they buy a more expensive beer.

The article goes on to say that most beers produced are between 5-6% and they don’t know how much this push back will work. I don’t care about the alcohol content. I want a tasty beer no matter what the alcohol content is. I think more people that seek out beers like myself don’t care about the alcohol content either. Let’s find out what you think below. At least I know what a session beer is now. -Kevin

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