#ROH Is The Worst Part VIII

Signs and symptoms

Jay Lethal vs Jimmy Jacobs was a fair enough match. So was Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman vs Cliff Compton & Rhett Titus. Both matches were ROH vs SCUM. Both had injured babyfaces (Lethal & Coleman) that made valiant efforts but were still defeated. The idea of a heel getting a victory because of an injury is classic. There comes a problem when ROH executes it though. To borrow an example from Raw and of all unlikely people, HHH, let me point out some differences. Curtis Axel makes his debut on the 20th of May. He ends up challenging HHH because of Paul Heyman’s association with Brock Lesnar. The announcers do a good job of selling HHH’s brutal cage match. This part, ROH got right. Kevin Kelly sells the injury while Steve Corino mocks them for being idiots for wrestling while injured. Curtis Axel ends up knocking HHH silly after he puts up a semblance of fight, but not much one. I was surprised that Bigfoot Levesque put someone over fairly easily. That’s where ROH comes in, they decided to borrow from Bigfoot or John Cena. Jay Lethal came back several times and dominated the match. He only failed to win when his knee buckled after he was going for his second finisher. Lethal was well enough to execute his first finisher! Jacobs should have beaten him much easier. He got made to look weak during the match instead of looking like a heel who took advantage of a baby face’s injury.

Coleman pulled the same routine. He left the match for a long stretch leaving Cedric Alexander to fend for himself. Alexander did a good job of selling after the normal flurry of offense. Coleman was being escorted to the back by referees and EMTs when he came back to ringside to tag the hot tag. Coleman got in entirely too much offense. He ended up losing the match but again, SCUM was made to look so weak by barely beating an injured opponent. ROH is the worst.

On a side note, I was so happy that Steve Corino called out Kevin Kelly for slobbing Kevin Steen’s nob. Corino told him that he didn’t like Steen a month ago. Kelly countered with “He was a great world champion.” Corino ripped that idea since many people were former world champions. Kelly had no logical reason to back Steen so he started to call the match. Corino didn’t hound him but that’s okay. The damage was done. After hearing that though, it make me wonder if our old WWE mole is now working for ROH since I called Kelly out on it a month ago. -Kevin

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Stunt Granny Audio Movie Review: Fast & Furious 6

Fast-and-Furious-6Finally the summer movie season is upon us, well at least here at Stunt Granny since we ignored Star Trek into Darkness.  How else do you kick of the season but with the much anticipated “Fast & Furious 6” and boy did it not disappoint. Jeremy & Kevin talk about the film and its engaging plot and strong character development. They expose the underlying theme of unity and bigotry around the globe as explained through the intricacies of car racing. The guys also rant and rave about a tank murdering innocent people, a plane that rolls on a seemingly endless runway and the physics of human flight.  They discuss the expansive filmography of director Justin Lin and who is going to assume his chair for “Fast & Furious 7”. So give it a listen. It may be the most positive podcast that Stunt Granny has ever produced.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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I haven’t even watched Smackdown yet. It’s been that kind of weekend. On the upside, a review of Fast & Furious 6 is coming soon from yours truly and Jeremy. Time to start Raw, really late. Let’s roll.

John Cena reappears in Canada. Are they creating a best of three falls ambulance match? I stopped paying attention already. Ryback wakes me up. He’s satan now. Aw crap, that is the type of match. I will not be ordering that PPV. Paul Heyman brings out Curtis Axel next. I’m not a fan of his beard. They are putting a push behind him.

Alberto Del Rio comes out first. Big E Langston makes me realize that I haven’t read a lick of wrestling news this weekend either. I have no idea how my boy Dolph Ziggler is doing. He doesn’t really fill in the blanks when they pimp the WWE app. AJ Lee’s interference costs Langston the match. He looks pissed at her.

Kane has a giant zit. Daniel Bryan is still stuck on the weak link. Bret Hart gets to interrupt them. Hart gives Bryan the same speech and he’s enamored.

The Shield came out before the break. I figured it’d be for the tag straps with the Bryan & Kane skit. Instead, we get Dean Ambrose versus Kofi Kingston. I’m not into the cow pattern design on Kingston’s tights. Nothing happens before the break. I finally know what Ambrose’s finisher is. Ambrose retains. They do segue into the tag team match. After a break! Except on the app. How did they forget to say that!

Seth Rollins is an idiot for going for a suplex against Kane. Roman Reigns helps clean up the mess. Kane is taking the beating so that Bryan can lose again. Bryan goes overboard which makes this match longer. Fine by me. I’m not paying much because we’ve been looking at cruise information. I’m glad for replays for a change. Nice way to finish the match. Rollins knees Kane in the head of a distracted Kane. I’d be fine with Team Hell No breaking up.

HHH has a fake concussion and we get news on it. Oh my lord, what a rigged vote. The Miz gets to be ref for Wade Barrett versus Fandango. The woman rightly points out that we haven’t seen too many Wade Barrett entrances recently. It all started when we discussed whether the jacket had been used recently. This match is just weird. Shouldn’t they both just beat the hell out of the Miz? Barrett does toss him around. He pays for it with a Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango wins. Shawn Michaels is talking to John Cena for some reason. Shawn is trying to be the voice of reason. Michaels is rocking a good beard.

What a crap festival of a match. The Great Khali, Brodus Clay & Sweet T are taking on 3MB. I agree with the woman, I miss the good old days of the one man band. Splash on Slater for the win. Yawn. The Great Khali sings Happy Birthday to Natalya Neidhart. Woof.

Chris Jericho interviews Paul Heyman. Good pairing. I’m glad they’re getting to a feud with CM Punk. One of Jericho’s better interviews in a while.

The Bellas are taking on Kaitlyn & Natalya. Let’s see what kind of home coming she gets. Lawler & Cool sound way too happy about Natalya’s appearance. Natalya can’t get the win with the Sharp Shooter. Kaitlyn accidentally spears Natalya. One of the Bellas pins her. Of course they’d go with the loss. How can you pass that up? Curtis Axel cuts a pretty solid promo against Bret Hart.

They introduce some a group of crazy Bayou people. Brodie Lee is in the group so I already love it. They’re playing into his look. Sheamus & Randy Orton are teaming against Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes. Hilarious, Mitchell Cool forgets what type of match Mark Henry & Orton just had at Extreme Rules. They start giggling about all of the coincidences of Lawler’s heart attack. These four guys get a commercial break. They turn it into a good match. Brogue Kick on Sandow for the win.

I blew through the entrances for John Cena and Curtis Axel. We get even more Paul Heyman. He gives a pep talk to Axel before the break. They’re making Axel look solid so far. A drop kick ends John Cena’s early come back. Axel gets even more offense. Nice homage to Mr. Perfect. An ambulance shows up after Cena gets the upper hand. Cena gets counted out. Ryback ambushes Cena by using the ambulance as a decoy. No one really gets the upper hand. I always like the bragging rights for an up and comer. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Sports Show #9

Um, yes please.

Um, yes please.

OK look you know we are going to talk about Sergio Garcia and his suggestions for Tiger Woods. What’s the big deal? It is golf isn’t it racist anyway? How could things get ay worse right? Well you let the CEO of the European Tour open his stupid mouth right? This ay be the only golf break that ever occurs on Stunt Granny in any capacity so it may as well be on the latest edition of The Stunt Granny Sports Show. Yes, Eric2 and Jeremy are back and among mocking golf and its competitors they also cover some serious topics like sexual assault and how women give up on looking good once they are married. Yup that’s right . Pete Rose gets married and his wife immediately decides to change her appearance for the worse. How is that fair for old Charlie Hustle? Hasn’t he given and then suffered enough already? Shouldn’t he be treated like a king? How stupid is Jose Canseco? Is it stupidity or a greater problem of being aloof and arrogant? What person wouldn’t be terrified and hiding in the face of sexual assault allegations? Why would any rational person go against his attorneys orders and blather on o the media? What kind of dummy taunts the accuser on Twitter? What exactly is Ozzie Canseco up to right now anyway? Is this a Lifetime movie in the works? They also break down how the media victimize itself in the face of athletes hiding things and hurting them. It really is quite funny how this always happens. There is some NHL playoff talk that somehow melds in to NBA playoff talk and then back to NHL talk and a nice dose of Henry The Hockey Hound being fed up taking matters in to his own hands when it comes to bacon. Oh yeah and Miguel Cabrera. So get to downloading the show and enjoy the randomness. It is funny, at least it should be. Really not sure since no one has listened to it again. In the moment it came across as funny. We could be wrong so download it already. OK?

#SippyTimeBeer Suggestions For Memorial Day

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I figured I’d try something a little bit different for this coming weekend. I have probably drank these beers at some point or another but I’m not going to do a full review of any of these beers. Just suggestions for what to do with your extra long weekend.

Columbus Brewing CompanySummer Teeth – I feel like CBC has more beers but after looking through their website they only have five beers. Their year round beers are a pale ale, which I drink frequently, and IPA, which is solid. Summer Teeth is only available April through August so I make sure I get my fair share. It is considered a kellerbier which is a Bavarian style. It reminds me of a hefeweizen without the bananas or spices. It’s a crisp cool beer perfect on a summer day.

Great Lakes Brewing CompanyLake Erie Monster – Let’s say that you’ve had a bad start to the year. It’s your first long weekend of the year and you really want to get shit canned to start the summer because you have plenty of time to recover for work. Lake Erie Monster is just the beer for you then. It has a 9.1% ABV and only comes in a four pack because it is so potent. It’s an Imperial India Pale Ale and I really like it. Monster isn’t as hoppy as Commodore Perry, which is their year round IPA. The upside to this selection is that GBLC just expanded their coverage in Pennsylvania.

Victory Brewing CompanySummer Love Ale – How could I not select one of their beers when I used one of their posters? This company out of Philadelphia has made several tasty beers that I’ve reviewed already. This beer is the only one on my list that I haven’t tried. It looks like another crisp, clean ale.

What I’m Going To Drink This Weekend

Zauber GrowlersI picked up a couple of growlers from my favorite Cbus brewer, Zauber Brewing Company. I reviewed their Vertigo about a month ago. My favorite beverage from them though is their Buxom Blonde which is on the far side of the picture. It’s a Belgian Abby style of beer. It’s really clean with just a hint of fruit. It has a little less fruit than a hefeweizen and it also doesn’t have the spice but they are similar styles. The near growler contains Stodgy Brown, a German Alt beer. It’s an old style that is not made much now and predates even lagers, at least according to Zauber. I haven’t had this one as recently but I thought it was a bigger change of pace than grabbing their Magnum. The mouth feel is more like a thin porter because it has hints of that and stout but it drinks more like a lager. I may not mention what I think of their taste during tonight’s Penguins game but check in on my Twitter & Instagram (@difrango11) for more insight into the tastes of these beers.

Go out to your local brewer, even if it’s not fifteen minutes from your house, grab a great beer and enjoy your grilling this Memorial Day weekend. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Movie Review: The Hangover Part III

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The Matrix Revolutions, Spiderman 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Iron Man 3, The Godfather 3, Jaws 3D

All of these films have the distinction of being the weakest movie in their franchises trilogy and now you can add The Hangover Part III to that list. The movie isn’t bad so much as it is so glaringly different that it is a head scratcher. If you are looking for the over the top lunacy of the first movie or the grim and dirty shenanigans of the second then you are in for a letdown. Sure there is still a decent amount of humor but not as much, well really nowhere near the amount audiences have come to expect from this franchise.

Don’t go in to “The Hangover Part III” expecting the same old same old. The movie is carefully crafted to not resemble the previous two films in anyway. Sure they end up in Vegas but gone are the bachelor parties, drug induced blackouts, ridiculous alcohol consumption, mystery and unfortunately the fun.

Thirty minutes in to “The Hangover Part III” Bradley Cooper’s character, Phil, yells out “What The fuck am I watching?” As Ken Jeong’s, Chang, takes the karaoke stage in Tijuana and starts singing Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” it was hard not to share the same sentiment.  It is a spectacular scene and something the movie needed a lot more of. It was unpredictable, absurd and funny. It ends abruptly and the movie rolls back in to its Fugitive storyline of the hapless trio trying to track down Chang.

The circumstances surrounding this film revolve around the newly escaped Change and his theft of millions of dollars from John Goodman’s character Marshall. After a series of events that you can see from the trailer and numerous television spots The Wolfpack head to Arizona and are intercepted by Marshall looking for a way to get to Chang. He explains the convoluted backstory and insists they find Chang or Doug; yup he gets relegated to nothing again, killed.

This isn’t to say the movie is bad, I enjoyed it, but after two biting and harshly funny movies the abrupt change in theme and attitude is jarring. The anticipation for the first huge laugh wears off after the opening moments that were of course ruined by the trailers and television spots. If you have seen them then you know Zach Galifinakis’ character Alan doesn’t use much foresight and ends up causing a rather large mess on the California interstate. It is funny and built pretty well but it felt unnecessary and forced. It was intended to be the movies big shock moment but having been ruined by previews it doesn’t get the laugh it probably should have.

The Hangover franchise was built on sarcasm, hostility and a real sense of arrogance and it has been wildly successful despite the fact there was really no justification for any other movies. As a standalone film The Hangover was totally different. It was mean –spirited, unapologetic and unpredictable. The second was even more mean spirited if not downright nasty at times but got too cute. This time around the nasty aspect has been replaced by bigger action pieces and an overwhelming sense of finality.

The story lags at points as nostalgia and call backs to the previous films are forced in to the plot. Instead of gong forward there is a concerted effort to fill in history where nothing is needed. Also, in the place of laughs the action grows larger and larger while the plausibility of the events diminishes. This wouldn’t matter much if there were strong comedic patches to cover these flaws. This is goes back to the central issue with the movie. You just don’t know what you are watching. While the effort is there to create something totally different it doesn’t succeed. A straight up action movie would have been fine. It would have messed with the audience in a big way but then no one could complain the movie was the exact same as the other two. This one isn’t at all.

The Hangover Part III contains the same faces and characters of the franchise but nothing quite seems the same. It leaves you unbalanced. Sometimes it works and others it just fails.

On a positive note the Director of photography, Lawrence Sher is top notch. Each set and environment is filmed in totally different ways. He creates totally different characters with the choice of lighting and backdrops. Tijuana is washed in dark, muted tones that create a sleazy environment. The neon street lights off the Tijuana streets barley illuminate the characters while inside the bar lighting reflects off of each of them in unflattering ways.  The close up on Chang singing shows dramatically just what this character is all about. He is a slimy, grimy man. Close ups of his oily, sweating face jump off the screen. You immediately feel a level of discomfort  with Chang and it sticks.

On the other hand Las Vegas is filmed with a shimmer that paints Vegas as the pristine fun palace that it was in the first film. As soon as the city lights are shown in the background they are inviting and comforting. It reminds you of the first The Hangover. Las Vegas was a playground unlike the streets of Bangkok with their dirt and filth. But then The Hangover movies have always had a very particular visual style and are one of the unheralded appeals of the films.

Another stand out of this film is the performance of Zach Galifianakis. While he was largely forgotten in the second movie the third is all his. His emotional range is spot on and despite the reported of ending for the film what he says and how he acts makes you believe his character. As the movie winds down you see a change in Alan and it is all owed to Galifianakis. You can see the sheer joy and happiness in his eyes as he finds a “soulmate.” You see the anger at his dad eulogy even with sunglasses. It was a good choice to give him the bulk of the action as it pays off in spades.

The rest of the actors are just there. This isn’t a negative but after two other movies what else can you do with the same characters and what they have been through. Bradley Cooper is still the dashing mini-van angry husband. Stu is still the nervous dentist looking for validation. Chang is still the over the top drug riddled malcontent. Chang may have been ratcheted up a bit but it is necessary with the amount of screen time he is given.

Look, there have been worse comedies this year. There have been worse action movies this year. The Hangover Part III tries to be too different than its predecessors and it shows. It has a few laughs but nowhere near the amount of the first two films. It illuminates the fact that it is time to wrap this series up and really makes you wonder if it was even needed. – Jeremy

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The Matrix Revolutions, Spiderman 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Iron Man 3, The Godfather 3, Jaws 3D

All of these films have the distinction of being the weakest movie in their franchises trilogy and now you can add The Hangover Part III to that list. The movie isn’t bad so much as it is so glaringly different that it is a head scratcher. If you are looking for the over the top lunacy of the first movie or the grim and dirty shenanigans of the second then you are in for a letdown. Sure there is still a decent amount of humor but not as much, well really nowhere near the amount audiences have come to expect from this franchise.

Don’t go in to “The Hangover Part III” expecting the same old same old. The movie is carefully crafted to not resemble the previous two films in anyway. Sure they end up in Vegas but gone are the bachelor parties, drug induced blackouts, ridiculous alcohol consumption, mystery and unfortunately the fun.

Thirty minutes in to “The Hangover Part III” Bradley Cooper’s character, Phil, yells out “What The fuck am I watching?” As Ken Jeong’s, Chang, takes the karaoke stage in Tijuana and starts singing Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” it was hard not to share the same sentiment.  It is a spectacular scene and something the movie needed a lot more of. It was unpredictable, absurd and funny. It ends abruptly and the movie rolls back in to its Fugitive storyline of the hapless trio trying to track down Chang.

The circumstances surrounding this film revolve around the newly escaped Change and his theft of millions of dollars from John Goodman’s character Marshall. After a series of events that you can see from the trailer and numerous television spots The Wolfpack head to Arizona and are intercepted by Marshall looking for a way to get to Chang. He explains the convoluted backstory and insists they find Chang or Doug; yup he gets relegated to nothing again, killed.

This isn’t to say the movie is bad, I enjoyed it, but after two biting and harshly funny movies the abrupt change in theme and attitude is jarring. The anticipation for the first huge laugh wears off after the opening moments that were of course ruined by the trailers and television spots. If you have seen them then you know Zach Galifinakis’ character Alan doesn’t use much foresight and ends up causing a rather large mess on the California interstate. It is funny and built pretty well but it felt unnecessary and forced. It was intended to be the movies big shock moment but having been ruined by previews it doesn’t get the laugh it probably should have.

The Hangover franchise was built on sarcasm, hostility and a real sense of arrogance and it has been wildly successful despite the fact there was really no justification for any other movies. As a standalone film The Hangover was totally different. It was mean –spirited, unapologetic and unpredictable. The second was even more mean spirited if not downright nasty at times but got too cute. This time around the nasty aspect has been replaced by bigger action pieces and an overwhelming sense of finality.

The story lags at points as nostalgia and call backs to the previous films are forced in to the plot. Instead of gong forward there is a concerted effort to fill in history where nothing is needed. Also, in the place of laughs the action grows larger and larger while the plausibility of the events diminishes. This wouldn’t matter much if there were strong comedic patches to cover these flaws. This is goes back to the central issue with the movie. You just don’t know what you are watching. While the effort is there to create something totally different it doesn’t succeed. A straight up action movie would have been fine. It would have messed with the audience in a big way but then no one could complain the movie was the exact same as the other two. This one isn’t at all.

The Hangover Part III contains the same faces and characters of the franchise but nothing quite seems the same. It leaves you unbalanced. Sometimes it works and others it just fails.

On a positive note the Director of photography, Lawrence Sher is top notch. Each set and environment is filmed in totally different ways. He creates totally different characters with the choice of lighting and backdrops. Tijuana is washed in dark, muted tones that create a sleazy environment. The neon street lights off the Tijuana streets barley illuminate the characters while inside the bar lighting reflects off of each of them in unflattering ways.  The close up on Chang singing shows dramatically just what this character is all about. He is a slimy, grimy man. Close ups of his oily, sweating face jump off the screen. You immediately feel a level of discomfort  with Chang and it sticks.

On the other hand Las Vegas is filmed with a shimmer that paints Vegas as the pristine fun palace that it was in the first film. As soon as the city lights are shown in the background they are inviting and comforting. It reminds you of the first The Hangover. Las Vegas was a playground unlike the streets of Bangkok with their dirt and filth. But then The Hangover movies have always had a very particular visual style and are one of the unheralded appeals of the films.

Another stand out of this film is the performance of Zach Galifianakis. While he was largely forgotten in the second movie the third is all his. His emotional range is spot on and despite the reported of ending for the film what he says and how he acts makes you believe his character. As the movie winds down you see a change in Alan and it is all owed to Galifianakis. You can see the sheer joy and happiness in his eyes as he finds a “soulmate.” You see the anger at his dad eulogy even with sunglasses. It was a good choice to give him the bulk of the action as it pays off in spades.

The rest of the actors are just there. This isn’t a negative but after two other movies what else can you do with the same characters and what they have been through. Bradley Cooper is still the dashing mini-van angry husband. Stu is still the nervous dentist looking for validation. Chang is still the over the top drug riddled malcontent. Chang may have been ratcheted up a bit but it is necessary with the amount of screen time he is given.

Look, there have been worse comedies this year. There have been worse action movies this year. The Hangover Part III tries to be too different than its predecessors and it shows. It has a few laughs but nowhere near the amount of the first two films. It illuminates the fact that it is time to wrap this series up and really makes you wonder if it was even needed. – Jeremy

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Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: The Woman (2011)

045WomanShower

I had heard a lot about 2011’s “The Woman” directed by Lucky McKee and starring Pollyanna McIntosh as the title character and Sean Bridgers as her captor. The film has been described as a misogynistic film devaluing women or it was a feminist fantasy piece. Regardless of those opinions what can be said for sure is this is one well-acted badass piece of film-making. It has a little bit of everything as it is paced like a 70’s creepfest, the schlock gore of an 80’s flick but in the final twenty minutes are pure modern day horror storytelling. The movie really is crafted in a deliberate style as the concise running time of 140 minutes only gives about 85 minutes of actual film. It is a clear choice that everything you see onscreen matters. Is it goofy in spots You got that right but then the shock factor of events slaps you with seriousness. Horror buffs probably already know about this film but the casual movie buff needs to give this a view. -Jeremy

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