I know this image has already taken a tour thru the internet, most notably on a certain Facebook page not named Stunt Granny. I held off on commentary because how does this not scream “ROH is the Worst”? Jeremy had asked me to review it before I saw the post on Facebook but had forgotten about it until I started mowing through my back log of episodes. Jeremy & I had gone back and forth about whether this shirt was even worth buying for a goof but we both agreed we’d be feeding into the abyss of terrible that is ROH so we wouldn’t even buy it as a gag. Sure enough, in the first episode I watched from 1 June, some tool in the first row already had the shirt.
With my memory thoroughly jogged, let’s get on to breaking down this absolute train wreck. They’re going for a crass (I can’t think of a better word because it’s not outrageous or shocking or trying to appeal to the ladies) with this gimmick so one would think they wouldn’t be shy with the design. The Os in Hoopla scream to be used as a highlighter for her boobs. But ROH designers don’t even feel the need to put any type of definition into the silhouette. They need to at least highlight some of the curves if she’s going to be a hottie. The other option is to capitalize on the mini-hula hoop craze that hit Youtube last year and show the silhouette hula hooping. The word Hoopla Hottie could have even been used inside the hula hoop even if the font would have been smaller than the real shirt.
On the back of the shirt, it has the statement “Take Your Pants Off” which of course then shows a top hat. I understand that Truth Martini needs to be involved since it’s his gimmick and the Mad Hatter hat is part of his schtick but why are you using that image? This shirt is about the women that are around Martini. How could you not use a silhouette of women’s pants? Since we’re being crass, lingerie would imply you got a little more off than just pants.
Beside the image, we get a picture of a tuxedo jacketed, hot pants wearing Truth Martini. He isn’t wearing his own shirt which is the point of a model. Let’s go back to my theme of this being crass. Don’t you think that the same tool that already bought this shirt would like a picture of a Hoopla Hottie wearing this Daisy Duke style and knotted at the stomach? Or they could go “Pants off” and have her wearing the shirt without any pants on. ROH can’t even get a t shirt design right. ROH is the worst. -Kevin