Kevin’s Blog: #ImpactLive Destination X

Special-EditionSince it’s Destination X, I decided to bust out the lap top. I had intended to start this earlier but life got in the way. A trip to the lady’s house then some Hawaiian BBQ delayed it. Here it comes now. Let’s roll.

They start with a nice retrospective on Chris Sabin‘s career. What X Division won’t take this chance? I doubt that Sabin comes out of this show with the belt though. Too much riding on Bully Ray in my eyes. Then again, I would have said the same thing about D.O.C. until the news earlier this week. Since Bully Ray has mic skills, he gets to come to the ring. He cares so little for his opponent, he calls out Brooke Hogan. She’s sick of his games. Well then divorce him dummy. You can hire a lawyer easier than he can. Ray, you’ve got no power to stay married to her other than her incompetence. Hulk Hogan makes the same argument Brooke did. The Main Event Mafia shows up for no reason. Not exactly starting the show well. Bobby Roode says “Fluke”. The future starts tonight. Decent enough.

Roode is taking on his old partner, Austin Aries with a fresh facial hair look. Watching even the beginning of this match, it makes me think that Austin Aries could break the size barrier like CM Punk & Daniel Bryan have. Commercial. Roode has turned himself into a good wrestler. I still think his mic skills lag behind though so I’m less sure of his WWE chances. Aries has the mic down. Brainbuster for an Aries win. Oh no, is Roode getting a losing streak gimmick? I think the right guy won but I usually don’t like where these stories go. For now, I’ll enjoy his little freak out. Homicide talks to Hernandez. Chavo Guerrero gives him respect. Hernandez does the least talking. Smart move again. I feel like grading every segment for some reason.

Ken Anderson gets to address D.O.C. leaving. He hand over his cut. He then gives a pep talk. Woof. Homicide is taking on Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams. They’ve been behind Dutt more recently so I’ll expect him to win. The Gringo Killer and Canadian Destroyer are two cool finishers. Sonjay saves Petey after the Killer. Moonsault Double Foot Stomp for Dutt. Wow, what a move.

Kenny King takes on Suicide and Chavo Guerrero. King has been a favorite since his move over from ROH. A baby face won the first match, I’m going with him for the win. Oh that’s right, it’s Manic now. I’ve never been quite sure why guys who stop in the ropes stay there for so long. Manic air balls on a cross pin but Chavo rolls thru anyway. Barely anyone cheers for Chavo. King showing off the athleticism. Manic wins with an inverted Code Breaker. I think that’s the right description. The Main Event Mafia is fired up. Glad they’re taking a break from the X Division matches. Back to back was a bit much.

Chris Sabin gets a talk from Hulk Hogan. He tells him it’s his time for greatness. Sabin thanks Hulk. A reason Sabin wouldn’t survive in the WWE. Do I really have to listen to this dreck that Sting will start? Um, Aces & Eights is there. If you’re looking for them, why haven’t you found them yet? They’ve had a couple of segments. Kurt Angle gets his chance to suck. Magnus is ready. That’s all you’ve got after I pimped you last week? If you’re going to take the fight to them, you don’t call them out. Ken Anderson invites them backstage. Samoa Joe with a cameo from Rampage Jackson is the closing suck. Aces & Eights ambushed them. What a bunch of dumb baby faces.

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Stunt Granny Audio: @wrestlingmuseum George Tragos/Lou Thesz Hall of Fame Special

(L to R) Cool dudes.

(L to R) Cool dudes.

Eric and Dan tag-team this special edition of Stunt Granny audio, discussing the events of this year’s George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum in Waterloo, Iowa. (Whew!) The guys discuss their growing gang of traveling wrestling fans who descend on Waterloo each year, and all of the cool stuff they saw and people they met. From the training session to the closing speeches by Edge and Charlie Thesz, and all of the Jim Brunzell stories, beers and Doughy Joey’s pizza in between, it was a fantastic weekend that, as Jim Ross and Gerald Brisco believe, you need to attend in order to appreciate. Check it out!

Stunt Granny Audio Show: Stunt Granny Audio:George Tragos/Lou Thesz Hall of Fame Special

Stunt Granny Movie Review: Pain & Gain

pain-and-gainSure, this movie debuted April 11 but we didn’t review it so here it comes. It wasn’t worth going to see full price so my lady and I shuffled off to the Marginally More Than a Dollar Theater before it left even there. I’m not sure what I expected from this movie. All I remember reading about it was that some group was angry that they were glorifying criminals who killed someone. I’m quite sure whoever said that didn’t watch this movie. Or they had their eyes open and didn’t get the message of the movie which was Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg), Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and Paul Doyle (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) were all incredibly stupid weight lifters who got what they deserved. So spoilers ahead. You have been warned so no bitching.

Daniel Lugo is the main character and ring leader of this crew. I could have done without the ending being at the beginning of the movie because it was a linear story otherwise and didn’t add anything to the movie a la Pulp Fiction. Lugo has big dreams of being a rich guy but the only thing he truly cares about is looking buff while taking copious amounts steroids. It is funny that a rich guy who may have had help from performance enhancing drugs is playing the part. Lugo is a gym trainer who changes gyms to make more money. Unfortunately, after bringing in major business into the new gym his needs aren’t satisfied so him and his best friend Adrian Doorbal hatch a plan to kidnap a client Victor Kershaw, played by Tony Shalhoub, and have him sign over his Scholtzsky’s fortune. I immediately thought to myself “How dumb is this plan?” but because they’re both idiots, no such thought crosses their minds. They feel the need to have a third person in their crew which is where Paul Doyle comes into the equation. He is another ex-convict who can’t get a job anywhere. Lugo convinces John Mese, played by Rob Corddry and the owner of the new gym, to hire Doyle all while planning to add him to the kidnapping crew. Doyle is the only sympathetic figure since he had cleaned up his act after his drug fueled conviction by becoming drug free and trying to dedicate his life to God. His character certainly brought the funny because of his split personality between his old life and new life. Lugo persuades Doyle to join his crew by telling him that it will be easy and no one will get hurt. Only another dumb weight lifter would think that a kidnapping could end without someone getting hurt.

Their incompetence comes in when they attempt to kidnap Kershaw but they fail twice before finally grabbing him on their third attempt when he comes out of his Scholtzsky’s. Keep in mind that these lunk heads thought ninja costumes from your local Halloween store were good costumes. Lugo, Doorbal and Doyle end up keeping Kershaw in an abandoned dry cleaners turned sex toy storage warehouse. The later of which comes into play because Kershaw is beaten with sex toys. After finally breaking Kershaw and getting him to sign over his Scholtzsky’s and money, Lugo runs into the problem that none of the paper work is notarized. John Mese comes into the equation because the gym has leveled off, he needs a sponsor for a body building competition and he just so happens to be a notary public. Lugo promises him a Schlotzsky’s sponsorship in turn for notarizing the documents that will bring him his “deserved” riches. Because Kershaw knows their identity, Lugo realizes that they need to kill him. Their first attempt to drive him into a concrete column fails because his car has an airbag and because Doorbal buckled Kershaw’s seatbelt before sending him on his way. Even Doyle & Lugo contemplate how dumb Doorbal is after that incident. Lighting the car on fire back fired because Lugo poured all of the gasoline on the exterior of the car and unlike every other movie, it didn’t blow the whole thing sky high. Because Doyle is driving the get away vehicle, Doorbal & Lugo convince him to run him over, twice.

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