Randy Orton “attacked” by “fan” in South Africa, I use quotation marks

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE superstar and mid-main-eventer Randy Orton was attacked by a fan at a house show in Cape Town, South Africa. The video above looks like fan-cam footage (can we even call it that anymore since no one uses a “camera”?), but it was posted to WWE’s own YouTube page. Why in the hell would they draw attention to a fan attacking one of their top babyfaces, other than to show us that anyone can do it, so we might as well do it, too! (September 2 in Des Moines, hurry up and get here, I got some low-blowin’ to do!)

Furthermore, look at the defensive stance this putz takes after hitting Orton from behind. Kicking his feet behind him like a 170-pound bull. Sticking his chest out like he’s a great big man. Give me a break. Either this delusional fan thinks that’s how real people real fight, or WWE doesn’t know how to book a fan-attack angle. IIRC, Steve Blackman jumped the rail with 2 kendo sticks and a pair of wrestling boots on. But my memory is shitty these days. Come on, guys, get your story straight. In Hollywood, they call this continuity person a “show runner.” I learned this by watching commentary tracks on “The Simpsons” DVDs, so I’m really Johnny In the Know. You need to hire one. I can be one. I have a fantastic memory.

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