@RealKurtAngle busted for DWI, I’d rather have my dead grandma drive a car

It’s like if Shawn Michaels did it with Ram-Man from He-Man.

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA *SUPER*star Kurt Angle was arrested last night in Decatur, Texas, for driving while intoxicated. Apparently/allegedly (whatever the proper term is), Angle left last night’s TNA TV tapings in Wichita Falls, Texas, and was busted for driving drunk. I would have been drinking, too, if I had to sit live through that shitty Bobby Roode vs. Hernandez match. Angle was released on $2,000 bond.

Now, also according to Prowrestling.net (and thank god Jason Powell is around to do this detective work… if this were Chris Shore, he’d be telling us how crappy Angle’s drunk-driving workrate is and how he needs to swerve faster in the last 12 seconds of the police chase….

Oh, wait, it is Chris Shore…) this is Angle’s fourth documented DWI/OWI/DUI of some sort. Lest we forget the night he was found in a median in South Dakota after drinking his bi-racial bestiality sorrows away. Granted, he seems to do more harm to others when he’s in a house with them rather than in a car pointed at them, but still, someone’s gotta take away this guy’s car keys. I’d rather have Ronnie Milsap drive me through a patch of cacti in a rusty convertible full of hot feces while listening to the Eagles than be within a country mile of ol’ Bo Duke here. At least I’d leave with Hepatitis C and a face full of cactus needles, rather than people knowing I was around Kurt Angle. -Eric

Side note: Angle has addressed this situation on his Twitter account, telling us he will overcome this. Of course he will. Jesus, I’ve driven drunk more times than I’ve driven sober, and I’m still doing fine. I’m sure someone with Angle’s support system will be just fine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: