Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

GG-Park-Disc-GolfI didn’t travel to San Francisco to play frisbee golf but that was the hardest thing I did all weekend. The lady & I went on both Saturday and Sunday to separate courses in town. Hopefully I’ll toss a few more rounds this coming weekend. I guess sitting in a theater for Man of Steel strained me about as much. I had no idea Superman’s dad was supposed to sort of a bad ass. I’ve never been able to get behind that particular comic. Having only a weird substance that isn’t found on Earth (I’m guessing) as a weakness always seemed silly to me. Any who. Let’s roll.

The Shield is individually introduced so that HHH can come to the ring. The crowd is still very pro HHH. I’m not surprised this isn’t working. As I type that, the crowd starts to boo after he gets on the stick. We get to see the end of Summerslam on free TV a week later. HHH offers to be the bigger man with Daniel Bryan and tells him they can get into a business relation. HHH makes me go find the ratings from last week because I don’t normally care. Holy crap, if way up means the 3.24 rating then our hits our way up for the site. HHH is giving Randy Orton a hideous & large SUV. Randy Orton barely talks for the second week in a row when Daniel Bryan interrupts. I’m still amazed at how he’s picked up the promos. I’ll mention again that I didn’t see him much in ROH. But he wasn’t that great on NXT. HHH gets to go back to sucking after doing really well last week. Randy Orton is an A player who evidently is so much of an A, he can’t cut his own promos. Oh boy, I wonder if he’s going to beat Rollins & Ambrose then he either valiantly loses to Reigns or they gang up on him and he wins the battle but loses the war. JBL towing the company line with no looks of disgust or barbs from Jerry Lawler or Mitchell Cool is pathetic.

Cody Rhodes comes out to wrestle Summer Rae & Fandango. Damien Sandow is on the headset. Fandango’s music hits and the Miz comes out dancing with, where have you been Rosa Mendes? Brad Maddox gives us a tag match. He kills me when he tells us how obvious the teams are. They get a commercial break. I hope they team Rosa with the Miz for my eyeballs. Fandango sells out his partner. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Fandango has mic in hand at the top of the ramp. Lawler calls Cody’s trip a good idea. JBL doesn’t call him out. I hope mediocrity isn’t rubbing off on him.

Christian is backstage with Josh Matthews. He tries to talk his way around insulting the McMahons. Randy Orton interrupts so he can still flex his mic skills. Christian is ready for a fight. Standard. Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel are excited about the fan vote after being bummed about it. Okay.

The match up is after the break. Of course “In Ring” is the option. Punk still has the crowd behind him quite well, thank you very much. Punk is a dumb baby face for going after Heyman early. Punk in control for another break. Axel got some offense in but it’s mostly been an extended squash match. GTS for a win after another short spurt of Axel offense. Paul balks at coming to the ring. Someone interferes, right? Heyman runs backstage. Security brings him out. Axel with a low blow. Punk gets handcuffed behind his back. Punk gets in some kicks but takes a beating with weapons. I’m loving these segments. Heyman is gold right now.

JoJo gets to be guest ring announcer. Natalya is out of the chute with the Funkadactyls. Brie Bella is escorted by Nikki & Eva Marie. Brie has an interesting outfit on. Not sure I dig the Taylor Swift like high tights. Brie with a Facebuster for a win. AJ Lee makes an appearance. She runs down Total Divas. This makes her awesome so the crowd cheers. The Bellas tell her to say it to our face. Um, she’s on the ramp, you can go to her. Why is she cutting a baby face promo? Great stuff out of AJ.

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#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) 8/18 Edition

Fat Twin

Since we had been on vacation, we crammed 2 episodes of Total Divas into one night. I just remembered I didn’t write a review for the August 18th episode, probably because I spent the weekend drinking rum & cokes and playing frisbee golf in the gorgeous weather.

The problem with Hollywood is everyone is fat over a size 2. I find this disheartening for any girl or woman who happens to be bigger boned and due to genetics is unable to be that size 2. Do we forget that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14? I’m no size 2 but I always find it interesting when I go into a store and there are more size 2-8 than size 12, 14 and 16 which is why I find that even though Brie looks really good due to exercising and eating healthy, Nikki in no way should be called fat for loving wine and dessert. She does look slightly bigger than Brie, but then again, she had the boob implant and anytime you have bigger boobs, you also look a bit puffier. I have girlfriends that had the implants done and they look ‘puffier’ than normal, but still look really good. The girls were getting ready for a Summer Slam photo shoot and Brie mentioned the only reason they were hired was because they were identical, which already isn’t working with Nikki’s recent boob job and was wanting Nikki to do a 20 day cleanse with her to get ready for the shoot. I agree in that Nikki should have given it a better try instead of hiding the bottle of wine she drank while on the cleanse, but you can’t force someone to do something they really don’t want to do, and it was evident in this week’s episode. When it came time for the shoot, they both looked fabulous. (Kevin’s Edit: This whole storyline made so little sense because of boob job difference. I don’t care if Nikki lost the weight, she’d still look different. It wouldn’t hurt Brie to pack on a few extra pounds and pad her bra to look a little chestier. They never look fabulous, lady. Natalya & Tamina are the only Divas I’d pick in dodge ball after the Bellas.)

While on the subject of boobs, Ariane decided she was tired of not looking voluptuous in her outfits and wanted to get a boob job. So she took Trinity and Jon with her to go see the doctor. I’m not sure where they found the lady in the doctor’s office, but I agree with Trinity about how awkward it was for her to lift down her bright red dress and show off the ladies. (KE: No Jeremy, I will not go to your penis enlargement consultation.) There is Ariane just grabbing and feeling and Trinity blushing and giggling. The most hilarious part is when they bring Jon in to feel these woman’s boobs and Trinity’s response is, you’ll only be able to do this once, so you better feel them now. Jon, tentative, felt the boobs on this woman and did comment how real they felt. The doctor gave Ariane a set to take home and try out. Obviously her tool of a boyfriend Vincent wanted the larger of the samples. I’d like to see him wear those around for a few weeks and then tell me how his lower back feels. Tool Bag! (KE: This guy even makes tool bags look bad. I have asked this question a lot in my life, why is she dating him?) We do find out from this episode that the fake boobs do float. Ha ha ha ha ha. To boob or not to boob will be the question for Ariane as I don’t remember them giving us an answer of what she was going to do, but in all honestly, natural beauty is always the best…though I know some guys just won’t agree with that statement. (KE: Easy to say when you don’t need them. She didn’t go with them.)

We move along to Nattie. She feels like her fiance Tyson Kidd treats her more like a pet dog than an actual fiance. According to Nattie he loves the cat more than her. Huh, well, if you acted like a spoiled, whining Hart all the time, I guess I could understand why! Nattie once again shows us how annoying she is and loves throwing the Hart name around. She wants to get married and have a wedding with about 150 people of family and friends. (KE: What does the wedding have to do with the Hart name? I think you lost me on this tangent.) Nattie went to a lingerie shop with Nikki so Nikki could find something sexy for John Cena. While in the store Nattie tried on a few things too since Nikki told her she needed to spice things up. Nattie put on her lacy bra and panties to show off to her fiance and his response was ‘what are you doing’. It was pretty funny. (KE: It wasn’t exactly smart of her to pull out that stop as he’s watching a PPV. Set the mood a little bit. Would it be smart for a guy to come out of the bedroom in a banana hammock while his woman watched a PPV movie?) She told him that she missed the romance and he responded by taking her to the court house to get married. Nattie threw a fit and stomped away, agreed it wasn’t the best decision on his part. It all boiled down to communication and they have decided to get married on a beach, though we don’t know when. (KE: Reconnection on the wedding tangent. Not so much on the Hart name. I do agree she tosses it around too much.)

I honestly can’t remember if anything happened with Jojo or Eva Marie, but if it’s 3 days after watching it and it’s not in my brain, it wasn’t important enough to remember. (KE: Exactly.)

I do have to say that the show is slightly more entertaining that it was when the Total Diva wreckage started and thankfully the WWE has kept it to 1 hour and not 3. We can only hope they don’t over run the show, though knowing it’s pretty much the only air time the WWE gives the Diva’s, I wouldn’t be surprised if they keep it around for awhile and on that note, we’ll keep watching and let you know what She said, He edited. (KE: Look at her even plugging the column at the end. She’s a natural.) – M (& Kevin)

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