Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

GG-Park-Disc-GolfI didn’t travel to San Francisco to play frisbee golf but that was the hardest thing I did all weekend. The lady & I went on both Saturday and Sunday to separate courses in town. Hopefully I’ll toss a few more rounds this coming weekend. I guess sitting in a theater for Man of Steel strained me about as much. I had no idea Superman’s dad was supposed to sort of a bad ass. I’ve never been able to get behind that particular comic. Having only a weird substance that isn’t found on Earth (I’m guessing) as a weakness always seemed silly to me. Any who. Let’s roll.

The Shield is individually introduced so that HHH can come to the ring. The crowd is still very pro HHH. I’m not surprised this isn’t working. As I type that, the crowd starts to boo after he gets on the stick. We get to see the end of Summerslam on free TV a week later. HHH offers to be the bigger man with Daniel Bryan and tells him they can get into a business relation. HHH makes me go find the ratings from last week because I don’t normally care. Holy crap, if way up means the 3.24 rating then our hits our way up for the site. HHH is giving Randy Orton a hideous & large SUV. Randy Orton barely talks for the second week in a row when Daniel Bryan interrupts. I’m still amazed at how he’s picked up the promos. I’ll mention again that I didn’t see him much in ROH. But he wasn’t that great on NXT. HHH gets to go back to sucking after doing really well last week. Randy Orton is an A player who evidently is so much of an A, he can’t cut his own promos. Oh boy, I wonder if he’s going to beat Rollins & Ambrose then he either valiantly loses to Reigns or they gang up on him and he wins the battle but loses the war. JBL towing the company line with no looks of disgust or barbs from Jerry Lawler or Mitchell Cool is pathetic.

Cody Rhodes comes out to wrestle Summer Rae & Fandango. Damien Sandow is on the headset. Fandango’s music hits and the Miz comes out dancing with, where have you been Rosa Mendes? Brad Maddox gives us a tag match. He kills me when he tells us how obvious the teams are. They get a commercial break. I hope they team Rosa with the Miz for my eyeballs. Fandango sells out his partner. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Fandango has mic in hand at the top of the ramp. Lawler calls Cody’s trip a good idea. JBL doesn’t call him out. I hope mediocrity isn’t rubbing off on him.

Christian is backstage with Josh Matthews. He tries to talk his way around insulting the McMahons. Randy Orton interrupts so he can still flex his mic skills. Christian is ready for a fight. Standard. Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel are excited about the fan vote after being bummed about it. Okay.

The match up is after the break. Of course “In Ring” is the option. Punk still has the crowd behind him quite well, thank you very much. Punk is a dumb baby face for going after Heyman early. Punk in control for another break. Axel got some offense in but it’s mostly been an extended squash match. GTS for a win after another short spurt of Axel offense. Paul balks at coming to the ring. Someone interferes, right? Heyman runs backstage. Security brings him out. Axel with a low blow. Punk gets handcuffed behind his back. Punk gets in some kicks but takes a beating with weapons. I’m loving these segments. Heyman is gold right now.

JoJo gets to be guest ring announcer. Natalya is out of the chute with the Funkadactyls. Brie Bella is escorted by Nikki & Eva Marie. Brie has an interesting outfit on. Not sure I dig the Taylor Swift like high tights. Brie with a Facebuster for a win. AJ Lee makes an appearance. She runs down Total Divas. This makes her awesome so the crowd cheers. The Bellas tell her to say it to our face. Um, she’s on the ramp, you can go to her. Why is she cutting a baby face promo? Great stuff out of AJ.

RVD  gets introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez, who is still a strange fit. Alberto Del Rio comes out second. The intros took up their time slot. Commercial almost right away. Plain terrible. RVD gets a shot at Night of Champions if he wins tonight. This outcome is a foregone conclusion. Del Rio stops the first 5 Star attempt. Rodriguez distracts Del Rio with the thumb point. Scissor roll up for an RVD win. Christian won two straight over ADR before a PPV too. John Cena gets TV time even when he’s injured.

Ryback gets to bully Josh Matthews. Ryback grabs his jaw and is happy about shutting up Matthews. Woof. Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman are caught leaving by Renee Young. Heyman kills another one. Just wow right now.

Christian hits the ring for a commercial break. I blow thru Randy Orton‘s lengthy ring walk. I grab a beer since this part of the match will be in a lower gear. The announcers finally get around to arguing. It only took them two hours. Christian takes a brutal bump for the break. The announcers start to re-hash the argument. Wow, what a terrible blown spot. Christian & Orton never panicked and got back on track. The crowd seemed into the RKO. Weird. A spear by Christian gets a near fall. A thumb to the eyes leads to an RKO. Nice tweak in his tactics. Daniel Bryan is leaning against Orton’s new vehicle. Bryan spray painted it with a bunch of Yeses. Woof.

Brad Maddox gets to talk to HHH & Randy Orton about the crowd. The locker room is going to have to watch the main event. Trips is going to fire anyone who interferes in the match. Sure you will. Daniel Bryan is going to pay. I hope he’s playing extra stupid to get more heat. The Prime Time Players hit the ring. Zeb Colter gets to spout his schtick. Jack Swagger is taking on Titus O’Neil. Swagger tries to cheat. Young knocks his feet off the ropes. Sky high spine buster for the O’Neil win.

Bray Wyatt sings a song. He talks about a strange woman. I don’t care about the crowd reaction. You took me out of their production piece. Stupid director. Sister Abigail was his teacher. She sounds whacked out. CM Punk refuses medical help. Brad Maddox gives Punk a match at Night of Champions. I dig the elimination style match.

Renee Young talks to Big Show on the ramp. Very sideline reporter of her. Dolph Ziggler stays silent. The Miz doesn’t answer either. Seth Rollins fights out of an early submission attempt by Daniel Bryan. I dig that JBL is the heel, but I feel bad that he has to defend this “Screw the baby face with authorities Part 2797” in the last decade. The whole angle comes off as dumb to me even though the crowd is super behind Bryan with help from the angle. He had a great 3 month singles reign while killing it for a year before that with Kane. JBL pretends like HHH doesn’t listen to the show. Great COO he is, doesn’t even watch their main product.

Bryan shouldn’t be taking this much punishment from Rollins. None of this threesome has proven much in a singles capacity, even Ambrose with the singles belt. Bryan ends up hulking out. The director misses the finishing move. Dean Ambrose jumps him immediately. Yes Lock early in the match leads to Roman Reigns interfering. They go all in. Didn’t HHH mention the wrestlers couldn’t interfere during the match. HHH gets to puff his chest at the wrestlers. Randy Orton comes out. If they really wanted to shave Bryan’s beard, why not do it now? This is the part of the angle that makes no sense for JBL to defend. -Kevin

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