#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) 8/11 Edition

Steak_frites

So we are running behind since we went on a fabulous vacation to the Caribbean. Honestly, I didn’t miss watching the show from 8/11 and now that we’ve sat here and watched it, I know why. Though, the editing is getting better and we did chuckle through some bits, it was still a little yawn worthy.

The episode mainly travels around Trinity and Jon and their 2 year engagement. She is upset because Jon keeps asking her when they are going to get more involved with plans to get married and she is utterly frustrated that he keeps bringing it up. Not to mention he gets pissed because she isn’t wearing her ring. Though I understand why with the WWE asking her to play a ‘single’ role, it makes sense for her not to wear it and with him in the WWE you would think he would further understand, but alas, it boils down to Caveman status and is upset that she isn’t wearing her engagement ring. (Kevin’s Edit: You ladies remember everything. You’re telling me a woman can’t remember to put her ring back on? Please.)  After a big fight and a WWE Raw in KS where they end in the ring together, it comes to head and she realizes she is being hard on Jon for her past failing relationships. He in turns says, ‘why get a hamburger when you can get a steak every night’. Classy!

Brie and Daniel are moving to Phoenix so she can be closer to her dog. Huh? So much traveling, she leaves the dog in Phoenix with her mom and now instead of moving to Washington to live in Daniel’s home from when he was growing up, they pack for Phoenix. Absolutely ridiculous when they Skype with the dog. Good gravy! (KE: I feel the need to make a Whale’s Vagina reference since they live in San Diego.)

Brie has to tell Nikki who ends up being not happy about the move and brings over “A” box to help them move. Who seriously brings just 1 box, it’s like Jennifer Gray saying to Patrick Swayze “I carried a watermelon”. After bashing them for moving for a dog ‘to each his own’ Brie kicks her out. Nikki does blame Daniel for the move, though not sure why. (KE: It was complete coincidence that we both made Patrick Swayze references.)

Nikki ends up having a conversation with John about the move and after discussing her ‘skin malfunction’ aka ‘planet’ aka a zit for us common people, we hear John’s sensitive side and how Nikki is a bitch and she needs to understand her sister’s move and to let bygones be bygones. Looks like John has been reading the Tao of Pooh! Man, he was deep. We actually enjoyed him in his scene and he gave kudos to Daniel Bryan for being a hard worker. I may actually like him at this point, but I’m sure that will change quickly. (KE: Cena is killing me in this series. The nipple rubbing cracked me up.)

Eva Marie thankfully isn’t really in the episode and it’s JoJo that has a visitor this time. The love of her life Brandon appears. I laughed when she said he is the love of her life and has known him since they were 5. Um, hello, you’re 19. Brandon doesn’t understand the work she is doing and wants her to go home. JoJo does end up getting a slight concussion on this episode, but Nattie tells her that it’s Brandon or the WWE. JoJo ends up choosing the WWE and Brandon get’s his walking papers. (KE: Stupid high school kids. Glad she made the right decision.)

45 minutes later, the episode wasn’t to bad, no Fandango kissing his own hand, no MTV Cribs, just more inside the life, yet scripted Total Diva episode. They still have my attention and am interested enough to see Ariana get fake boobs, so stay tuned to see how the fake boobs float! – M (& Kevin)

#SippyTimeBeer Review – Blackbeard, Kona and Singha

Blackbeard Ale

Virgin Islands Brewing CompanyBlackbeard Ale – I would provide a link to the brewer normally but they don’t have a website. What’s the use of a website? It’s not like people go to them. I did get a laugh out of reading the label, which read that the beer isn’t produced in St. Thomas or even the Virgin Islands any more. It is brewed in Wisconsin somewhere. I bet Dusty secretly runs VI Brewing out of his apartment. This beer hit the spot as we wondered around a group of vendors set up outside. It wasn’t the best English Pale Ale I’ve ever had though. I wouldn’t have guessed it was a pale though because it tasted more malty than anything else. Unfortunately, this beer was the only local one I got to try on the cruise.

Kona Brewing CompanyLongboard Island Lager – Back when I went to the Columbus Winter Beerfest, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get Kona beers because of their origin in Hawaii. Boy was I wrong. I’ve had it at minor league baseball games (Dayton Dragons & Columbus Clippers) and it’s served in several bars in the area. I had tried Longboard before the cruise, including at both games, and I wasn’t the biggest fan. Unfortunately, when you are on a ship, your beer choices are limited and this was the best one on the list. I enjoy Guinness but I don’t drink it with the frequency I used to. The other good choices on the trip were Bass (solid), Boddington (Behind Guinness & Murphy’s) and two others I can’t remember. I had a Longboard or two with our Jamaican Dream Team of bartenders every night on the ship.

Boon Rawd Brewing CompanySingha Lager – Our cupboards were pretty barren after returning from the cruise. The lady & I hit Bahn Thai for dinner one night to help restock with leftovers. I couldn’t pass up the chance to try a Thai beer. I never mind trying but am trying to figure out if every country imitates Budweiser or if everyone likes the same bland crap so every country produces something similar. Whatever the case is, it had a similar taste profile. If you like Bud, give it a drink.

Jamaican Dream Team

From L to R: Bernard, Ralston & head bartender Mario

Are you wondering what some of the beer terms are, especially when they’re German, French or Dutch in origin? This article from SeriousEats.com helps you with some terminology, especially the German end since they’re alcoholics. Good thing I’m part German. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #ImpactWrestling

hello-from-on-stinker-to-another-700x449Boy, it has been a slow news week. I haven’t been able to dream up too much either. It’s been a bit of a stinker on the site. So why not continue to stink up the joint with a review of Impact Wrestling? Sounds like a plan to me. Let’s roll.

Okay, I know baby faces are supposed to be dumb. But they were dumb enough for the Tito Ortiz trap? Incredibly dumb. Tito Ortiz is with Bully Ray. Ken Anderson, just voted VP, is now in charge of himself. This Aces & Eights group has taken a serious hit recently. In name they’re a faction but in practice, they aren’t. Bobby Roode comes out with Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian. Roode is the mouth piece. They’re going to do anything to win the BFG Series. They take their turns bragging. Roode asks Austin Aries to join them. James Storm shows up because enough people haven’t been in this opening segment yet. Gunner is in tow. Storm looks really good. Seems to have lost some weight. We get a tag match with Kazarian & Roode against the baby faces. What a cluster fuck of a segment.

I know it’s supposed to evoke a tough guy image to be fighting in jeans but it looks like a gay cowboy video.

swayze-roadhouse-fuck-guys-like-you-in-prisonI love Roadhouse but this segment looks gay. I mean, if you enjoy it, have at it. I don’t want to see it in my wrestling program. Roode cheats to win with a low blow. I don’t think that match got enough time after the break. Austin Aries cuts another good promo. He covers his bases to keep you guessing as to his decision. I pick he stays a loner.

Manik is taking on Sonjay Dutt. They show Hulk Hogan’s tweet about the X Division going to one on one action. Can I laugh when they inevitably have a three man match in the near future? Taz had someone in his past wear a mask all the time. You almost had me convinced, Taz. I was this close to buying it. Manik wins. Big surprise. Ken Anderson talks to a leaderless club house. Devon’s going to Testify. Having one less person in the group isn’t a bad thing. Even if it was one of the better members.

Joseph Park, Jay Bradley, Hernandez and Christopher Daniels fought over the last 20 point match. I have to give them credit. They’ve done a much better job of point attempts for each competitor. Nothing major happens before the break. Kazarian distracts Park. Dumb bell. Keep the Boston Crab locked. I do agree with Mike Tenay about the intent of the street fight rules, which is not having outside forces interfere. It’s still a man on man. Austin Aries brainbusters Daniels. Kaz & Roode chase him to the back. Bradley and Park are in the ring. Park sees blood, me go angry. Black Hole Slam. 20 points to Park. He’s out of the negatives. Eric Young is working with Park still.

Samoa Joe & Brutus pump up Rampage Jackson & Sting. Bull Ray comes out after a video package. Dear lord, he’s trying to claim we were suckered. No one believed it for a second. Tito Ortiz calls Rampage a dummy. Why has he been sapped of charisma like Rampage? Brooke Tessmacher, right? Yep. Brooke takes off his ring and spits it out. They both have the same chin.

Gail Kim is taking on ODB. I’m not excited. I’m glad they’ve gone back to normal refs in a woman’s match. Gail Kim is sneaky to get her turn at offense. Kim even botched a move, a shoulder breaker. ODB is bigger than she thought. The crowd is not getting into the crotch turn buckle smash. ODB needs to tweak the gimmick. Gail Kim takes advantage of early shoulder damage for the roll up pin. I like the result. Main event coming up next.

I buzzed thru the entrances but still listened to Ken Anderson babble. He gets to introduce Bully Ray & the posse. Sting gets to pump up the crowd. I guess that’s why he was silent earlier. AJ Styles saunters down to the ring. He’s so dreamy and mysterious. Oh my goodness, they’re even calling him the “Old” AJ Styles. Ha. At least they acknowledged their mistake. Not that this version is some master piece but it’s better than brooding bad boy. The crowd is eating it up so far. I still think Rampage is taking the pin fall. Brisco & Bischoff get to be the bitches for Aces & Eights.

This match does look better with only one team wearing jeans and most of their shirts being on. Wes Brisco still looks light in the loafers for going with the vest only look. I did see the news that AJ’s contract is up soon. I don’t see him being WWE material unless he discovers a better character. Rampage is in the middle of the ring. He barely executes some moves. Knux gets put in the Scorpion. Devon saves him. Sting with the lamest kick out ever. AJ gets to clean house. AJ pins Devon with the Styles Clash. Wow. I didn’t see that one coming. -Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XII

800-numbers-are-so-easyROH makes it so easy to write a column. I’m 18 minutes into the show and I’m furious. They have sent Maria Kanellis out to be the mouth piece for Mike Bennett’s new character. The match was inconsequential to my anger. Brutal Bob was going against Mike Bennett. It was a squash match with Bob getting in some opportunistic offense. She was terrible on the head set. Maria still sounds like a moron. She could be perfectly smart. I don’t remember any of her interviews when she did the Playboy thing. Which is another factor, she seems so much less hot to me now. I remember looking forward to that Playboy issue. Now, I wouldn’t bother. Back to her dumb streak though. The logic of Bennett’s turn, which isn’t a turn at all. Bennett was a heel. Now, he’s a heel. With no clown car at least. Being down to one manager is a good thing. Having her try and tell us that he’s not going to follow the establishment anymore is down right dumb. He never shook hands before a match that I can remember from the past year and 8 months. So how did that make him “establishment”? He wasn’t in SCUM but that doesn’t mean he liked management. He had complained how he wasn’t getting a shot at the big time. Now, he’s complaining that he’s not big time. How is his position any different? Well, Maria has another gem for us. She tells us to look at Bennett’s new tattoo. That proves he’s a rebel. Nevermind that the WWE Champion has two full sleeves and back tattoos. Randy Orton is even being backed by the establishment in the WWE. But for some reason, the “Man” in ROH is going to keep down that rebel Mike Bennett with one tattoo on the under side of his forearm. Christ on a pony. Maria’s insights were so important that ROH brought her back to be guest commentator during the next match because she’s a women’s wrestling expert. Maria hasn’t wrestled in ROH. I remember her not wrestling too well in the WWE. I remember her being a hold out for a while too. Maria rehashes her points about the new, more rebel like Mike Bennett which are just as dumb a second time around. Then she adds that Ms. Chif is a tough broad. Thanks Maria. I had no idea that the only woman who has won on ROH TV this year is good. What a dumb bell. ROH is the worst. Kevin

Maria Kanellis

I mean, I still would, but that something extra special she had going on is gone.

You know what. I forgot about something when wrapping up the upper part. I forgot that I don’t like the new look for Mike Bennett with the shaved head and beard combination. It makes you look older than you are. Grow back the hair.

Another thing about using Maria as the mouthpiece that hurts his “WWE Stock” as I call it. Mike Bennett needed to show that he was in control to take that next step. Keep Maria around. She can still talk for you sometimes but this occassion of a fresh and more vicious Mike Bennett needed to be delivered by the man himself. You look like a puppet having Maria do the talking. You can’t look vicious as a “hired gun” type when it’s your woman. Maybe if say, Sinister Minister (since how ridiculous that I was going to say Paul Heyman? That guy is never leaving the WWE. He’s killing it right now. They want him around.) were the one in control, you could sell me as “hired gun” material but it’d still be a weird angle. Bennett needed to deliver this speech he didn’t. Two fails in one segment. Congratulations. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

kids_health_tvI ended up watching 2 Smackdowns, 1 Raw and 1 Impact Wrestling in roughly a 24 hour time period. No more than 28 hour time period. It was rough. There was debate of watching one of the two ROH but I ran out of time. Fuck those guys anyway. I couldn’t have watched Summerslam for fear of overload. It sounded pretty damn solid. I like the outcomes of the matches. Lesnar needs to win every now and again to stay relevant in between down times. Daniel Bryan losing it to Randy Orton is great for both men. Orton has been stale for a long time. Daniel Bryan will be hotter for even longer. Hunter didn’t need to be involved but makes him more interesting for the first time since he came back as “office guy”. I’m interested to see how this Raw shakes out. Let’s roll.

Hot damn, I forgot it’s in Anaheim. This crowd always blows. John Cena starts the show. By the way, watched the Steelers first team defense get smoked by Rex Grossman. Wow, it’s going to be a long season. 8-8 might look good by the end of this thing. Cena is taking some time off. This crowd is pretty lively. Did the city re-populate? Solid going away speech. Daniel Bryan gets introduced by Cena. Before he can say anything, Stephanie McMahon comes out. She apologizes to him. Bryan does his best undressing her. So they all did this as a big set up to go against Bryan? Steph is being a solid bitch. She tops it off with calling for security. I hope he eventually calls out HHH for being a coward and having Steph do his dirty business.

Damien Sandow is taking on Cody Rhodes again. Good thing I didn’t watch this part of the PPV. The crowd is back to it’s normal self for this match. They get a commercial break. Good for them. Cody had a long run of offense. Sandow got out of Cross Rhodes. Sandow gets hit by the Disaster Kick. Sandow irish whipped Rhodes into the corner. Rhodes rolls up Sandow for his second straight win. Brad Maddox gives us a tweet from Dolph Ziggler. Maddox puts him in a handicapped match with The Shield. My boy is still getting some good attention.

Paul Heyman reminds us of CM Punk’s loss to Brock Lesnar. Paul is hoping Punk rejoins him. He forgives Punk. That trick never works. Heyman still loves him. No one seems to care. The Bellas are mad at the Funkadactyls. Noami chills out Cameron? I can’t remember their wrestling names.

Mitchell Cool helps me out. I had them switched. The Funkadactyls are wrestling AJ Lee & Layla El. Reality show team wins, right? The lady and I are going to do a double dose of Total Divas sometime later this week. Naomi is taking the punishment. She gets out of it with an enziguri. Layla knocked Cameron off the apron. Naomi rolled her up for the win.

Dolph Ziggler gets to the ring for the Hounds of Justice to come down from the crowd. I wonder way Dean Ambrose has moved to the Under Armour shirt. Seth Rollins turns it around with the help of Charles Robinson. Roman Reigns gets to lay the wood. Cool backed JBL into a corner fairly well. JBL battled out well. Reigns gets caught moving slow. Rollins makes a save. Ziggler sells a jumping spear to Reigns for the loss. Good showing. He gets a triple power bomb.

Alberto Del Rio has a seriously busted up eye. He fights whatever happened to Sin Cara. Lawler tries to make it exciting. He fails. Sin Cara acts like he’s hurt. Maybe he is. That’d be kind of funny. He plays up the Latino crowd. Are they turning him baby face since Orton went heel and back to Raw? Ricardo Rodriguez tells us Del Rio isn’t a hero. He is out to introduce his new client. It’s RVD. Weird combo. Is it supposed to be like Bill Alphonso & RVD weirdness? RVD chases Del Rio from the ring.

Continue reading

Darren Young comes out in an airport.

WWE-Superstar-Darren-Young

Wait a minute is this for real? Is this how it is supposed to be done now? Outing yourself as a gay man in an airport baggage claim area while some TMZ douche interrupts your privacy? Clearly it was a staged event but still; how did WWE not get in on this and publicize it on their site first? Me thinks someone is getting removed from television for a while.  WWE may be proud of Darren for coming out but they cannot be happy about the lost opportunity to exploit it. What a shame.

It took way longer to come up with this post than usual. I tried to pawn it off on Dusty (methbender again) and Eric (busy doing whatever his woman asks) but they suddenly aren’t checking email.

On one hand it is a landmark sort of story. There have been plenty of gay wrestlers before but none have publically outed themselves in this way. It is clearly a big deal to Darren and his family. It is a big deal professionally and obviously personally. From an outsiders perspective; I don’t really care.  Eric2 and I have talked about this on The Stunt Granny Sports Show, which is on hiatus due to me packing up the recording equipment for my move, and from a performance standpoint it really doesn’t mean anything. He isn’t suddenly going to have incredible matches nor is he magically going to cut promos with ease.  From the fan perspective is anyone going to notice. It is inevitable that there will be crowds that will boo based on his “choice.”  Conversely, there will be the crowds that will cheer while they attach themselves to the news. It is enivitable.

The most curious aspect of this all is how WWE will react. They have already posted a congratulatory message on their site. What I am looking for is how he is used, treated and changed on television. It is ripe for major publicity and we all know WWE loves positive publicity. -Jeremy

Matt Hardy has a new promotional video.

So it has been a while since Matt Hardy graced Stunt Granny and even longer since I had thought of the guy but when I read the headline  “Matt Hardy channels Ron Burgundy while promoting his Wrestling Cares Association match against Shawn Daivari” over at Prowrestling.net I had to give it a click.

The video is nothing different than any of the Hardy’s brand of humor that apparently still gets people excited about them. It isn’t terrible by any means and in fact there is one actually funny moment thanks to the grace of video editing.  One unintentionally funny item is that Matt, by his own admission in the comments, wore the wrong color shirt. Just check it out; you’ll see.

The most interesting part of the video is that Candace, or is it Candice, Michelle is wrestling Katie Lee Burchill and that Ryan Shamrock is making an appearance in Daivari’s corner. Who knew any of them were still active?  This isn’t an insult.

Last I knew Candace Michelle was busy weighing down society spitting out babies. Katie Lee Burchill, well, as far as I recall fell off wrestling after TNA screwed up her run? I haven’t seen Ryan Shamrock in a long time and no I am not and will not look up current pictures of her. I care to remember her as this skanky bitch that would totally get it from her WWF days. So leave me be with those memories.

In summary it has been a painfully slow news week so this got posted. Ha ha, you read it. -Jeremy

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