Total Divas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 7

Not from the Maxim Photo Shoot

Not from the Maxim Photo Shoot

This weeks episode is the 2nd to last mid-season finale. You would think that the WWE would want to try and keep viewers interested enough to make them want to come back, but once again, this episode lacks in the entertainment department and all you get is a teenage temper tantrum, a not so sexy Maxim shoot, and a lot of screaming from Ariane.

We begin this weeks show, with a very staged Eva Marie driving in her car getting a call from her agent that she has been selected to be in Maxim. There are so many things wrong with this first scene, but the only real thing that pops into my head is, she is so not attractive with that coarse fake neon red hair and fake tan, why in the world would they choose her to be in the magazine? (Kevin’ Edit: Because her body is good enough to make up for overly red hair and a so so face. Plus, their main male demographic buys Maxim. Got off that train a long time ago.)

Eva Marie tells Jojo who is excited for her, but became jealous right away because she feels Eva Marie gets all the attention and she gets nothing. So, she decides that she wants to sing. Eva Marie tells her, probably not a good idea, but Jojo doesn’t listen. (KE: Why would Jojo listen? That talentless gene pool winner tried to pawn herself off as a dancer and failed.)

Ariane, Nikki, Brie, Nattie, Jojo and Eva Marie meet for lunch, where the ladies tell Jojo and Eva Marie, it’s always best to always look like you’re out on the town as Eva Marie and Jojo are extremely casual for lunch. Eva Marie tells everyone about her shoot and Nikki does fear about Eva Marie taking over, but at the same time doesn’t feel threatened. My favorite part is when Ariane starts talking about Vincent, her boyfriend, and how he wants her to meet his family and according to Nikki and Brie when that happens it means marriage. Ariane starts to freak out and Nikki just casually asks, can you live without him? Eva Marie’s face is priceless as she expected the focus on her and instead, Ariane received all the attention at the table. Ha ha. (KE: I thought Eva had a double face going on, not believing Ariane is still with a guy she doesn’t give a care about and the announcement getting shoved to the side.)

Ariane states in the episode that Vincent is getting on her nerves and that they just aren’t on the same page right now. Vincent is once again upset that Ariane is going out for work and he hasn’t been invited. He pouts like a child and starts to whine and Ariane gets so upset she uses the nasal Baaaabe. (KE: In no way do I want to be with that woman. She’s dragging this idiot around by the nose but can’t drop him. Dumb broad.) It’s like nails on a chalk board when she does this. While taking her dog to get a manicure, Vincent again says he wants her to meet his family, she said she doesn’t have time to scratch her butt, so when would she have time to meet his family of like 60 people. But because she feels guilty, she ends up meeting his Dad, where his Dad tells her that he doesn’t want his son out there single and he wants grand kids. Ariane looks mortified as she said, Kids? Then adds, not for like 7 years or more. Ha ha. Needless to say, Dad did not look happy.

Vincent takes Ariane on a surprise trip to the jewelry store to pick out a diamond because his Dad wants him to get married. (That is so romantic) Ariane flips outs and breaks down. She tells him she needs to step back and take a break. He said he had no idea she felt that way and would give her space, but be there for her when she came back to him. Good gravy, doesn’t this guy get a hint. Go away!

Eva Marie goes for her Maxim shoot. She loved being pampered and said it has always been a dream of hers to be in Maxim since she was a little girl (I know that was my dream…NOT). (KE: Glad you could fit in an early 90’s reference honey.) I believe she said she finally felt like a Diva. The shoot went, they told her she was a natural, whatever, and then she went home to Jojo and showed her the photos. Jojo was being very juvenile and did not give Eva Marie any positive feedback. Eva Marie said she didn’t have time for childish games. (KE: Does everyone on the show forget Jojo is 19? I’m reminded every time I look at her.) Well, while Eva Marie was focused on her photo shoot, Jojo was trying to figure out what to do to make herself stand out more. She decided to team up with Trinity and sing the intro song to the Funkadactyls. Trinity’s dad has connections in the music industry and he got them some studio time where they cut a mix and then gave it to Jane at the WWE. Jane loved it and told Jojo she would try to fit it in somewhere. (KE: I didn’t think too much of Trinity inviting herself into the singing idea but she got them studio time so it’s a wash. By the way, are we going to meet everyone’s parents?)

Brie and Nikki were a little on the slow side this week. Nikki was injured during one of the WWE matches and Brie and John insisted she go have it checked out. We get a little look into Nikki’s past when she was injured playing soccer and find out she has a metal rod in her leg, the one that is injured. We find out from the WWE doctor that she has to be off her leg completely due to a stress fracture for 12 weeks. Nikki is upset and pissed that she will be gone 3 months after just returning. She fears that if she leaves, people will forget her. She is 30 and she doesn’t have much time left wrestling. Brie on the other hand is worried since they were hired as the Bella Twins, key word Twins, that she may have to take time off too. Yet, we know that isn’t true since she has been on the WWE this past week. (KE: That’s the problem with this show if you watch wrestling, you know how some of these angles turn out. I know Jojo is singing anthems at house shows, doing work with the Funkadactyls and that Nikki has turned into a manager.)

Jojo, Trinity and Ariane go out to make their debut. Trinity is sick and Ariane is messed up due to her break with Vincent. The 3 go out there and they totally blow. I mean, bad, bad. Eva Marie and Nattie are both there shell shocked on how horrible it is and they even shoot a guy in the stands covering his ears, kinda like what I did. The girls know it was bad, Jane was mortified, and Jojo’s plan didn’t work, though Kevin tells me that something happened cause Jojo does sing again at some point. So maybe she isn’t too bad on her own.

Not much from Nattie this week, just a few words of wisdom. The WWE picks you for a reason, because you’re a good wrestler and that’s what you should be focused on. Touche! (KE: I believe those words were for Jojo. Hey Nattie, maybe you concentrate too much on wrestling and that’s why you barely get TV time even though you’re from a famous wrestling family. Consider them my words of wisdom.)

Another week of Total Diva’s down and 1 more episode to go, the big wedding of Nattie and TJ or will there be? Tune in next week as the Total Diva mid season finale happens on E! – M (& Kevin)

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