Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

So if I had just made up my mind and had my computer repaired, I wouldn’t be using my parent’s spare old Dell. Of course, maybe dropping water on the lap top should have warned me that the rest of my week was going to suck from then on. I’m starting late again so I’m doing babbling. Let’s roll.

Angelo Savoldi is recognized. I get to learn who he is on Wikipedia. I’m sure I can do the reading during HHH‘s long speech. Stephanie gets to tell them that the 10 are “men.” RVD gets to be the mouth piece of the group. The McMahon’s try to turn the tables mentally on the 10 by giving them the Shield. He’s having a hard time pronunciating “frustration.” Okay, maybe they have me again. Not sure where they’re taking this thing and they don’t seem to know either.

Kofi Kingston is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Are the McMahon’s trying to wear out the 10 before their elimination match? Lawler asking if the match is fair to the Shield is pretty weird. Shouldn’t that be JBL’s role? They get a break with Kofi in control. The crowd is starting to do random chants. No surprise that Chicago is bringing it. Kofi gets a near fall from an SOS. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Boom Drop. It hasn’t gotten better. Nice German Suplex by Del Rio. Kofi screws up a DDT. Kofi misses a cross body. Del Rio goes vicious. Kofi taps out to the Cross Arm Breaker.

Renee Young gets to ask Miz the tough questions. HHH can’t let him wrestle because of his condition. He gives Miz the Big Show on Miz TV. They recap the Rhodes happenings.

The Prime Time Players get to take on the Wyatt Family in the form of Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. The beat down of the 10 continues. Darren Young is taking it. The lights go off momentarily. Most exciting news of the match so far. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Young takes out Rowan. Harper capitalizes on a distracted O’Neil. Clothesline for the Wyatt win. Young gets Sister Abigail’s kiss. Mitchell Cool gets cut off making a good point. Did someone just get in trouble?

Miz TV is on. The Miz wants to know why the Big Show would do that. The Miz asks the Big Show to stand up for himself. Stephanie McMahon strides down to the ring. Steph calls the Miz a utility person. She does condescending well. Steph makes Big Show knock out the Miz which he does with no hesitation. (Next Day Note: Did the WWE realize Big Show is a lot better as a heel? If so, good for them. I’d be happy to get rid of smilely Big Show again.)

Randy Orton comes out and finds out that his opponent is RVD. The announcer banter is the best part of the match until the early break. Buzzing thru entrances makes this so much quicker. I might catch up before the finish if I keep it up. Orton makes it interesting by kicking RVD off the top rope. He appears to have snapped. They get counted out but Orton still beats down RVD. So why aren’t the other 10 helping RVD out? What a bunch of pussies. Top Rope hanging DDT.

Randy Orton runs into the Bellas back stage. He warns Brie of his awaited beating. They’re doing a good job of putting more heat on Orton instead of the McMahons. They show clips from HHH’s new DVD. Big Steph does more condescending, this time to AJ Lee. AJ doesn’t like the way she’s being treated as Divas Champion. AJ listens to Big Steph.

summerRae

Fandango comes down with Summer Rae. Santino Marella comes down after the break. Summer Rae is getting her own chant. After Mitchell Cool has killed JBL multiple times for antiquated references, he busts out a Tony Garea mention during Eric’s favorite move the Abdominal Stretch. Top rope leg drop for the Fandango win.

CM Punk comes out wearing a Blackhawks jersey. Evidently, he tried to get the Stanley Cup at Raw but it’s being engraved in Montreal. He gives a nice speech comparing himself to the Blackhawks. Paul Heyman comes down so they can continue their stellar promos. Punk has upgraded to ripping his face off. That’s kind of funny. He looked like he was even holding back a laugh. Heyman’s scooter doesn’t work. Punk smiles. Curtis Axel & Ryback were in waiting on the sides of the stage. Heyman cracking me up shielding his face even when his guys are winning the beat down. Punk seems to be winning an awful lot though. Ryback finally gets in a good shot. Glad he gave us a look at a WWE made shirt under the jersey.  Gorilla Slam thru a table.

The Divas Match was next. The Bellas are full fledged baby faces now because of Total Divas. Nikki back in action. AJ Lee beats down Brie though. Facebuster by Brie gets her a win. No surprise that was quick. Tamina carries AJ from ring side. Dean Ambrose gets to talk up the Shield. They’re going to dish out justice and do what’s right for business.

Daniel Bryan gets some mic time before the big elimination match. He doesn’t care what just happened with Scott Armstrong. Still weird is that he didn’t deny it as strongly as he should have. The Shield comes down to the ring through the crowd. Cody Rhodes and Goldust attack them before the match can start. How am I supposed to believe Cody is fired now? Break before the match.

JBL is asleep at the switch tonight. He should be denouncing the Rhodes attack. I’m starting to think even more that he was allegedly drunk last week. Lawler says the Shield is getting screwed again. Weird. Ambrose takes advantage of an injured RVD to eliminate him. Another break. So naturally the dumb bell baby faces put in Kofi Kingston next. Kingston gets eliminated so Titus O’Neil comes in. They are all stupid. I suppose you could say the healthy baby faces are being evil and letting the injured guys go first to wear the Shield down. That’s down right heelish of them to think that way though. Spear by Reigns to eliminate O’Neil.  Justin Gabriel takes a spear in short order. Zack Ryder is next in. Spear during the Broski Boot to eliminate him. Daniel Bryan is in next. Super kick & splash by the Usos eliminates Reigns. Break again with a dismayed Ambrose & Rollins. Darren Young is getting a beating from Ambrose. Rollins with the flying knee to the side of the head to eliminate Young. Ziggler starts off hot against Rollins but hurts himself. Zig Zag on Ambrose to eliminate him. (Next Day Note: I remember the announcers saying we could have a new US Champion because of the pin. Did you forget it was a 11 on 3 match? It means jack in a singles match.) Rollins looks concerned. Ziggler DDTs Rollins. R Truth gets a hot tag? Rollins kicks out of a falcon arrow. Rollins with a curb stomp type move for the win. The remaining four stay behind and beat down Rollins. Ambrose & Reigns try to make the save but the Usos take them out. Rollins blind sides Bryan. Flying Goat. Flying knee to finish off Rollins. Fun match. They really pumped up Rollins leaving him to the end. – Kevin

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