Dusty’s Blog: A Simple Rant About 90s Music

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Have you ever listened to Hole’s Pretty on the Inside album? It is easily one of the five worst albums I have ever had the miserable misfortunate of laying my ears upon. It is an unholy abomination. It is garbitch! It’s almost so bad that you have to hear it, but if you go out of your to hear it based on what I’m saying about it in this column, you will want to devastate me. Hell, I want to devastate myself for listening to it.

In any event, a cursory glance of his album reveals no songwriting ideas whatsoever. The lyrics almost sound like a parody of what grunge is supposed to be. And if it’s a parody, that means it’s insincere. And if its insincere, that means it goes against whatever bullshit unwritten code of conduct grunge had written for itself.

And so now allow me a moment to indulge myself in my hatred of grunge music. Since I’m going there anyway, let’s use Nirvana as the example. Long haired fellows who play rebellious music that appeals to kids and rebels against the popular music of the time. One band member has a crippling heroin addiction. How is that not exactly Motley Crue? And yet they hated bands like that, and brainwashed their fans into doing the same. Grunge really was the dirt worst. Phony, insincere nonsense.

So in any event, Pretty on the Inside features no songwriting prowess whatsoever, no good chords are played, and the lyrics are belted out at top volume by a drugged out witch who cannot hold a note. It is literally agonizing to listen to this album.

So then we’re supposed to believe that all of a sudden Courtney Love learned how to write good songs and play good guitar notes just in time for Live Through This to come out. Obviously, I am implying that i believe the conspiracy theory here that Kurt Cobain wrote all the lyrics to these songs and probably played guitar on them as well.

What you had with Kurt and Courtney was the classic case of a no talent waste of tissue woman glomming on to the more talented man and using his talent and fame to forge a career for herself. Courtney was a parasite who was willing to do whatever it took to get ahead, because she knew if she kept cranking out more albums like Pretty on the Inside, she was going to end up in the bargain bin of history, being passed over in favor of the Was Not Was album that had that dinosaur song on it.

Sleeping your way to the top is often not enough for women like Courtney, who worked tirelessly to keep down and insult more talented women artists of the time. (This is where I cite the example of Courtney bad mouthing Kim Shattuck and accusing her of stealing her dress ideas, which I’m sure stealing stuff from Courtney was the primary thing on Kim’s agenda. This is also where I mention that punk will always be better than grunge music, because good always overcomes the power of evil, and what are the Muffs if not the female-led Ramones?)

In other news, Daniel Bryan is engaged to Brie Bella and you can catch Maria Kanellis at an ROH show near you!

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One Response

  1. Dusty my brotha!!! I can reed tha tea leaves!! Oh!!!!!!!!!
    Tell ’em Akeem!

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