@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 11

jealousyI was informed last night that Total Diva’s has signed on for another season with E!. Does E! have any idea what they are currently airing on their station? Though, with the Kardashians having 3 different shows on the channel at any given time, maybe they don’t care what they are actually airing. As this is the time of year for giving thanks, I’d like to thank the WWE for giving us another episode of staged conversations, whips, vibrators, sex therapy and how many times Trinity and Jon have sex before Jon Uso turns into a bear. All I can think right now is, how can I possibly still be watching this disaster for 45 minutes a week.

We begin this week once again Eva Marie. She sees TJ in the ring and asks him if he will help show her some moves as she ‘idolizes’ Nattie and wants to be a great wrestler like her. Nattie sees them wrestling and gets jealous. I love how she has so much distaste for Eva Marie, she takes every chance she gets to comment about her skanky appearance. When Nattie finds out that TJ will be helping Eva Marie the next day in the practice ring, she get’s even more heated when she sees TJ’s head in Eva Marie’s breasts. Nattie says she’s not wearing a bra and says she see’s the way Eva Marie is looking at him, she goes to get Fandango to practice her moves. Nattie removes her little sports jacket and reveals just a sports top showing bare belly while Fandango takes his shirt off. After lots of quibbling back and forth and Fandango asking ‘what is going on!’, TJ leaves, Eva Marie says Nattie is Coo Coo and Nattie huffs out still jealous of Eva Marie and TJ since Nattie is the only one TJ has ever trained with (woman wise) and I guess is worried about her marriage? I don’t see how as he isn’t that attractive and she’s butch like a man, but whatever. By the end of the episode TJ tells her that she’s prettier than Eva Marie. (Kevin’s Edit: This segment was so staged. My favorite part was Norman Smiley as one of the trainers. I’m pretty sure I had read that he was there before but I had forgotten. It made the episode for me. Any woman that doesn’t look like a man would be an upgrade for TJ but Eva Marie wouldn’t stoop that low. I’m thinking she’s going for top of the roster material.)

Nikki has some decisions to make about moving in with John Cena. After John gave her the agreement for her to sign to live with him, she drove off (in our cliffhanger). We begin this episode where she pulls off to the side of the road and calls Brie. Brie was not helpful in this staged phone call and says what kind of relationship is this if John has her sign a ‘roommate’ agreement. Bryan has never asked Brie to sign one because they have an understanding and open relationship (well, I don’t think Bryan has a massive house and expensive cars as he drives around in a Prius). Nikki checks into a hotel until she can figure things out. After a few days and talking to her mom on the phone, she calls John and leaves a message. I don’t know why it took John so long to call her back (another WWE insert staged phone call here) and they have agreed to meet for dinner. Nikki tells John he’s selfish and he should have told her before she moved in that he wanted her to sign this agreement. Honestly, I can’t remember if she signed it or not, but she kept saying if she didn’t sign it, where would their relationship be? (KE: I think she packed in more sarcasm in that paragraph than I could have.)

We see a very selfish side of Brie this week as Bryan is doing massive amounts of publicity for being WWE champion and Brie doesn’t like it, and neither does Josie, their dog. I do see how Brie could be upset as when they order lunch (salads) he walks away to do a phone interview. I’m sure it could have waited, but I’m also sure the WWE wanted to create a little friction between the two since they are just so darn cute! After Brie has a conversation with Nikki, she apologizes to Bryan and they go back to being the cute couple. (KE: French bulldogs are hilarious.)

Jojo is no where to be seen. Though I was terribly surprised when she wrestled in Raw on Monday night and looked better than Eva Marie. (KE: You should not be surprised that Jojo was the better wrestler. Eva is good for nothing aside from looking hot and skanky.)

Trinity and John, not really in it this week. Trinity’s only conversation this week that I can remember was with Ariane when she says no wonder she’s grumpy all the time. There is no sex between Ariane and Vincent, yet Trinity tells Ariane that Jon’s gotta have it every two days or he becomes a bear! (KE: Good to know I have something in common with Jon Uso.)

Which leads me to Ariane. We find out in this episode that she does not have endometriosis. Which is a very painful issue women can have. She makes her way to the gynecologist who does a routine exam, where I have to laugh when she says she didn’t know she was having a full exam so didn’t shave. Can’t believe the camera caught that and who wouldn’t think they’d have a full exam if they are in so much pain. Good Gravy.  So the gynecologist does the exam and says everything seems well and then does an ultrasound where everything is ok, no issues, so the why is sex so painful and cramps so painful? (KE: I was laughing that I seemed to be told more about a gynecologist from my girlfriends, ex-wife and the current lady than Ariane knew.) Well, cramps can be painful due to the lifestyle she has as a Diva. Stress, exercise, diet, all cause bad cramps, so that’s a no brainer, sex, well that leads us to the sex therapist that Ariane and Vincent go to. He does not look pleased. Apparently, Ariana doesn’t like to think outside the box and has decided that she can do without sex. Seriously? So, the sex therapist tells her she needs to start experimenting, role playing, toys, vibrators, videos, etc. Vincent looks very happy at this suggestion. The next time we see Vincent he’s coming home with bags and said he went shopping. Well, yes, he did, to the Adult store. After he pulls out two bottles of wine, he pulls out whips, vibrators, books, gels and he looks very happy, I’m pretty sure he pulled at this huge vibrator and said ‘say hello to my little friend’ which was hilarious. So we end this episode with Ariane and Vincent yelling ‘yes yes yes’…which again is another WWE scripted scene. (KE: Vincent is still a gigantic tool but he’s big dumb ass has grown on me the last couple of weeks.)

What can I say to sum up this episode? Not much because looking ahead at the preview for next week, it doesn’t look any more enticing that this past episode. So as Thanksgiving moves closer, and I give thanks that this episode is over, I’m also thankful for Nattie’s pokes at Eva Marie, the hilariousness of Ariane at the gynecologist, and Bryan saying he is going to give Josie, the dog, a romantic butt scratch, but I’m not thankful for Nikki’s annoying baby voice and her childish bimboish mind. Happy Thanksgiving. – M & (Kevin)

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