WWE Is The Worst? Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards At WWE Performance Center

American Wolves ToysAccording to Prowrestling.net, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards were at the WWE Performance Center on Monday. First, I had to laugh that even though Jason Powell didn’t bag on them like I did when Richards made a not so vague statement at Preston City Wrestling but he did come to the same conclusion that I did which is that these two ROH stars will spark the WWE Tag Team division. I’m not sure it needs sparking with The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins), The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan), the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil), The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater), The Usos (Jimmy & Jey), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) and the current champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust. I can’t believe I needed three lines of print to list all of the tag teams which also leaves out the maybe new team from last night of R Truth & Xavier Woods. So the WWE has nine tag teams with a tenth in the making. Does that sound like a company that needs to jump start their tag team division? I’m as guilty as anyone on the internet who buried, dug up and re-buried the tag team multiple times between about 2002 and now but I’d have to say no spark is needed currently. Could the WWE use another team? Sure, because they’ve got more TV time than any daily soap opera.

It was also amusingly noted that they spent time in the ring with Billy Gunn and NXT regulars. I’m not sure what exactly Gunn is going to teach them since he was bad on both the mic and in the ring. At least Richards & Edwards already have the in ring work down. I know the one thing Gunn could teach them is how to market themselves. No one forgets the Billy Gunn theme. No, not the big introduction he got from “Road Dogg” Jesse James during his New Age Outlaws days. This one. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Long_nights_allow_me_to_feel__by_HarlequinFever

HarlequinFever.deviantart.com with a really cool picture.

I’m going to be watching Total Divas before starting my Raw review for the foreseeable future. It’s going to make for some long nights which is what led me to that fantastic picture above. I completely forgot about the Penguins game tonight. I’m going to start this blog even later than I expected. Woo hoo. They play Wednesday night again. Let’s roll.

Video Package Count: 1. They talk about the power struggle, John Cena & Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton & Big Show and the end of the night melee. I had forgotten about the country theme. It’ll be window dressing like always. I can’t wait for the cow girls Divas match. They waste no time bringing out HHH and Stephanie. They are important because of how poorly things went last week. Hell in a hand basket without them. Randy Orton has a problem with them. Vickie Guerrero does the quietest “Excuse Me” ever which is awesome. Brad Maddox immediately throws Vickie under the bus. Also funny. Stephanie pits AJ Lee against Vickie. HHH gets to tell Maddox his fate, which happens right now.

Well, after a commercial actually. Raw Country meant a country theme song so far. Maddox cracks Orton with a microphone while running away. Maddox tosses him into a ring post then rolls him into the ring. He gets a two count. Orton recovers. That is a nice dress shirt Maddox was wearing. Hanging DDT off the barricade. The crowd is chanting “We want tables”. I don’t think you’ll get them. Orton beats Maddox unconscious. This is all PG because of no blood, right?

Big E Langston gets a crack at Curtis Axel‘s Intercontinental Title. I watched the South Park about X Box One and Playstation 4. I had no idea either game system was in for an upgrade. Haven’t played them in ages. WWE advertising is effective. Langston covers after a shoulder block. Ha. Axel tries to slow things down but it doesn’t work. Langston goes for another pin dumb pin after a back drop. Axel gets control. We get a break. Good to see these young guys get an extended match. Langston goes back to some power moves. Big Splash only gets a two count. Axel gets out of the Big Ending. Neck breaker by Axel is countered. Clothesline by Big E. Big Ending. Crowd goes pretty crazy. Congrats Big E Langston. You’ve achieved a title that means you still might be on the right path but the WWE still won’t know for a while. Randy Orton is talking to the Shield. Roman Reigns wants Orton to have their back too. More country song. Shot me.

Instead of a cow girl match, we get musical chairs to this horrific song. I FF until the Divas brawl. I’m loving Alicia Fox on Total Divas. I’m glad this segment could help me catch up.

Big Show is taking on Ryback. Big Show punches the body to get control. “Bench presses don’t fight back!” JBL is awesome. He’s doing a good job of giving Ryback’s psyche. Ryback goes for Big Show’s knee to make the match interesting. Ryback tries to wear out Big Show with a head lock. I guess it’s a little more of a choke. DDT by Ryback only gets two. Ryback slaps on a chin lock. Big Show turns it around with a side suplex. Clotheslines by Big Show. Ryback with a spine buster. Only two. Ryback sets up for the Meat Hook. He gets it after some knees to the gut. Ryback goes for Shell Shock. He nails it. Big Show kicks out. “You stupid giant!” Big Show shoves off a front face lock. He WMDs Ryback for the win. Good showing for Ryback. Randy Orton tries to ambush Big Show but he turns it into a spear. No reason to take the belt off Orton. Zack Ryder is talking to someone I’m supposed to know. Heath Slater introduces them. 3MB are the Rhinestone Cowboys now. They’re keeping their act fresh.

Orton puts ice on his ribs. He complains about not having back up from the Shield. If you didn’t see them around ringside when you jumped in, shouldn’t that have been a clue Randy? I thought the baby faces are supposed to the stupid ones. The Miz & Kofi Kingston are going to job to Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger. The Miz gets to take the beat down. Good luck taking the pin Kofi. He does get the hot tag. Cesaro distracts Kofi. Swagger catches him and slams him. Kingston DDTs Swagger. The Miz jumps away from the tag of Kofi. Patriot Lock for the win. Turning heel will do you no good if you don’t freshen up your gimmick.

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Stunt Granny Conversation: The Walking Dead – Season 4 – Live Bait

The GovernorJeremy:  Do you went ti start the convo now?

Kevin:  Sure. How about those Lions?

Jeremy:  Calvin has no catches in the second half. Receivers dropping Easy passes. The Steelers announcers were entertaining in the second quarter. Then watched rest on TV.
Kevin:  I didn’t hear them at all. Barely heard the TV announcers since I taped almost the whole thing. Slow ass game lasted after 4:25.
Jeremy:  Yes when the Lions kept dropping passes clock stopping all over. Defensive line had no push and their secondary is garbage. No d line no wins.
Kevin:  The Steelers have gotten lucky the last couple of weeks with their opponents helping them. Although the Steelers had their own fair share of drops including what should have been a Heath Miller TD that turned into a really short FG. Speaking of FGs, no one has any idea what Schwartz was thinking on the fake.
Jeremy:  I didn’t mind the call. Then the defense shits the bed and let’s em go 98 yards?
Kevin:  Yeah, it’s designed to pin the opposing teams offense but it didn’t work. Big Ben didn’t forget to look to his best receiver like Stafford. First down to Brown and that was about it.
Jeremy:  Exactly. Then Lions really need Burleson back.
Kevin:  Somehow the Steelers are still alive in what is a truly horrific AFC. Had to fit that harassment in though. Were you expecting a whole episode on the Governor?
Jeremy:  Yes I was. So that did not surprise me at all and it was very good idea.
Kevin:  I was surprised but agree it was a good idea. The part that I’m interested in is how it fits in time wise with his appearance at the prison. He was cleaned up so it was definitely after his wondering aimlessly phase.

Weekend Rewind: Hulk Hogan and AJ Lee

AJ-Lee-Skull-n-Bones-Photoshoot-

We’d all rather look at her than Hogan’s leathery mug, right? From WWE.com

Hulk Hogan by way of Jimmy Hart made a desperate attempt at getting on the Wrestlemania card. Hart said

He told me to say exactly this: Hulk Hogan will be at WrestleMania if he has to buy a ticket and sit at ringside

I’m going to guess that Hulk won’t be seated next to us in section 306. How much would that jump the value of your seats if he did announce his seat location? It might make floor level seats worth it. That wasn’t the most entertaining part of Hart’s diatribe.

I think he can step into the ring one more time. We have a school in Florida, and he stepped into the ring there and did some stuff, and he looked great. As his friend, I’d be the first one to say, ‘Listen Hulk, do us a favor, just go out to the ring to Real American, say OK Brother, rip the shirt, do the pose, sign a bunch of autographs and people will still be just as happy,’ … but he does have a couple of good matches left in him, he really does. I’ve got my fingers crossed we see something at WrestleMania.

If your seat value rose with Hulk sitting next to you, it would drop if Hogan wrestled. It’d be a train wreck. I don’t want to see him wrestle anyone. He’s past time of having a clash of the titans with John Cena or even the Undertaker. HHH could be a target too but I’m pretty sure even the Game knows the match quality wouldn’t be there.

That news wasn’t the last on the weekend involving Hulk Hogan. He was on a show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called “Where Are They Now?” I’m guessing that doesn’t make TNA feel all that great because if they were somewhere, Oprah wouldn’t have to find Hogan. He was on a show with Carrot Top and Chris Judd. Well, at least TNA has some good company.

Last but not least, A.J. Lee had a fainting spell on the European Tour during a match with Brie Bella due to dehydration. She is reported to be fine which is good news. I’m disappointed that Tamina didn’t give her enough coconut water. Tamina knows that “Rowdy” Roddy Piper helped keep her father Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka hydrated with a coconut to the head. AJ couldn’t have need that much hydration for those two minute long women’s matches so I’m sure a coconut would have done the trick. – Kevin

#SippyTimeBeer Review – @3Floyds, @ElevatorBrewing, @LeftHandBrewing and @OhioBrewing

3 Floyds Robert the Bruce

In order to play some form of catch up, I’m going to start reviewing four beers a week. When I was talking to Jeremy last week, I realized I was at least 27 beers behind. I may add a second posting per week. I definitely have a bad beers article in mind for the future.

3 FloydsRobert The Bruce Scottish Ale – My neighbor Fred loves to talk about 3 Floyd’s. He’s been to the brewery in Muenster Indiana and has introduced me to any number of their flavors. This one I found on my own though but got it because of good previous experiences. I’m glad I took the chance because this is easily one of the best beers I’ve had this year. It’s already on the short list for Best Beers of 2014 that I’ve tried, which will be posted in about a month. Don’t worry, I’ve got a round table of drunks who have treated their liver as poorly as I have so it won’t be just my perspective for a change. Back to Robert the Bruce which has two different types of malt in it with a dash of hops to offset it. It’s official that I’ve got a soft spot for beers with plenty of malt. It’s got a punch at 7.0% alcohol too. They only distribute in Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, Ohio and Wisconsin. If you live nearby one of these states, it’s worth the trip to drink this beer.

Elevator Brewing CompanyHeiferweizen – Elevator was the first microbrewery I went to in town. Since they have a cow on the label to this beer, so they call it Heiferweizen. That’s the only thing that makes this beer different from a regular hefeweizen. It has the familiar banana and clove flavors that comes from the yeast. I’m not cool with their suggestion that you add a lemon to the beer. It’s plenty good to drink by itself.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #ImpactLive

MVP! MVP! MVP!

MVP! MVP! MVP!

In dog related news, Kia is doing as well as she can while still having a heart murmur. I’m happy to have some piece of mind that it isn’t an immediate problem. Other good news, my boy Andrew McCutchen of the Pittsburgh Pirates won the NL MVP in a landslide with 28 of 30 first place votes. Way to go Cutch. I’m going to review a very un-MVP like edition of Impact Wrestling to make up for being lazy in the audio department this week. You’re a lucky group of readers. Let’s roll.

They start off with a lower quality version of WWE’s video packages. At least they’re hyping the main event between Austin Aries and  Kurt Angle. Aces & Eights come out. Tazz gets to brag. Bully Ray talks trash to Mike Tenay. He’s the puppet master. He may have fooled us but it was to assault Mr. Anderson. Not exactly who you should pull that on. Don’t you wait for a higher quality target? He accepts Mr. Anderson’s match. Ken Anderson graces us with his presence. Anderson requests a break up Aces & Eights for his career in TNA match stipulation. Anderson is dumb for the second week in a row and takes on Aces & Eights. He fights out of it though. Anderson wants a match now. Knux is taking him on after the break.

Bully Ray & Garrett Bischoff were sent to the back. TNA loves having guys wrestle in jeans. If Anderson had in mind challenging someone, why didn’t he wear his ring gear to the trash talking session? Dummy. Mic Check out of nowhere for the win. I wouldn’t be shaking in my boots if I were Bully Ray. Anderson barely pulled it off against one of his lackeys. Granted, with that kind of stipulation I expect Anderson to win. Joseph Park has been contemplating Bad Influence all week. Park challenges Christopher Daniels, mano e mano which means interference will happen. Christopher Daniels was trying to give Park a drink last week. Daniels tells Kazarian to stay in the back. They run into Bobby Roode who is showing off his new terrible t shirt. Not their best segment. I do enjoy their act more times than not.

Video Package Count: 2. More about Austin Aries vs Kurt Angle. Joseph Park is taking on Chris Daniels. The later gets the upper hand early. Daniels can’t seem to put away Park. Joseph slam and side slams Daniels. Earl Hebner backs Park out of the corner. He tosses Hebner aside. Daniels kicks him in the groin while Hebner is turned. Daniels wins with the low blow. Park’s character may be better but his wrestling still sucks.WWE2K14 ad.

Garrett Bischoff tries to talk down Knux. Bully Ray isn’t mad either. We can’t tell Brooke about Lexus. Don’t worry, almost no one in wrestling watches their own product. EC3 is out again to face some schmuck unless they’re finally going to break the streak. Nope, just two schmucks this time. They keep working over Carter’s arm. A leaping clothesline turns things CP3’s way. The schmucks know how to wrestle but are stick thin. I get feeding him jobbers but he’s giving up too much offense. The 1 Percenter for the win. The world needs him.

Video Package Count: 3. This time, it’s a “commercial” for AJ Styles. Interesting take but not the best package. Dixie Carter shrieks. Jeff Hardy loves the unconventional promos. He’s so much more comfortable in this environment and you can tell. Hardy wants to be champ again. I’m not sure if Austin Aries really got a video package. It was more like a video envelope.

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#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVI

jesse_sorensenROH decided to bring in Jesse Sorensen for at least a match. It is his first televised match since his neck surgery. It seems like a perfect time to give him a feel good victory, right? They’ve had Grizzly Redwood job to nearly everyone on the roster, so have him do the deed. But since ROH is the worst, his opponent was Tomasso Ciampa. As I’ve noted several times, I really enjoy Ciampa but there’s no need for him to beat Sorensen. He just as easily could be fed Q.T. Marshal, R.D. Evans or Silas Young, who I’d prefer since Ciampa finished his feud with the first two already. They could have also brought in some indy wrestler to fill either the spot against Sorensen or Ciampa as ROH likes to do. ROH did make the right call by giving Sorensen a competitive match against Ciampa. Sorensen still took a loss though which seems really dumb. Have him win his return then have him “pay his dues” as if coming back from neck surgery is some walk in the park.

I missed the two of the last three weeks because ROH continues to get bumped for Big Bang Theory at midnight on Sunday/Monday since it’s such an important time slot. The week it did record properly, they replayed their 100th episode which had originally aired about two months ago. I had already noticed that Steve Corino was behind the color person’s headset so something had gone down in the weeks I had missed. I know they had done some online segments and letters but I’m tired of trying to unearth it because ROH’s site Blog and Video sections are terrible. The origin of this complaint thought is what Kevin Kelly said during the match. “Steve, you’re an outstanding analyst. That’s how you got the job in the first place. Let’s make sure you keep it this time, okay?” Holy shit. Kevin Kelly loves doing a 180 with his opinions and it is awful. When Kevin Steen turned baby face, Kelly was all aboard the Steen train which has gone nowhere. Could you please, at least for this set of tapings Mr. Kelly, be wary of Steve Corino? Give him a hard time for at least that length of time. Hell, even as bad as Jerry Lawler is, he still gets a burr under his saddle when JBL brings up his loss to Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. Cole and Lawler get along now but Lawler rightfully remembers when they were at odds. I asked back in August if Kevin Kelly has ever taken a broadcasting class. This action confirms he never has. I’m not sure if Steve Corino is an outstanding analyst but I will say I enjoyed several of his jokes during the broadcast.

Jeans in Boots

If his name was Michelle Elgin, I’d let his fashion faux pas electric slide.

I have one last complaint and it yet again has to do with the choices people make for style. I have made fun of Michael Elgin for his mullet before. He has added to his terrible look by deciding to wear cowboy boots, which are fine. The bad part comes in when he tucks his jeans inside of the boot. ROH is the worst. – Kevin

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