@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

Continue reading

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVII

Zombie Princess

indulgy.com

The first match of the night was Davey Richards vs Roderick Strong. Here are some observations: Davey Richards added highlights to his hair. I sure hope he made that call like Eva Marie did on Total Divas because if the WWE did this on purpose, they have done a poor job of starting his repackaging.

– I am really enjoying Steve Corino as the color commentator. I think he’s fairly funny and brings personality since Kevin Kelly lacks any. “That is what it means to be a wrestler in Ring of Honor. You’re taking knees and punches and kicks and everything. You use every last ounce of energy to get that last move in…It’s never say die. That’s what makes Ring of Honor the best on the planet.” That statement is the best one I’ve heard to explain the ROH style. I’m not saying I like their style of wrestling any more now though.

Roderick Strong hasn’t been present for some of the recent tapings. I found him to be in the best shape that I have seen him since watching this program. Unlike when they over did is in one of my earlier columns, they undersold his work out regiment.

– Easily the best match I have seen from both of these performers over nearly the past two years. I kept hearing they were the greatest in the world but I didn’t see the proof in the pudding. They delivered in this match. If you’re going to hammer them, you’ve got to call them the other way too.

The middle match of Mark Briscoe vs Michael Elgin had a whole lot of nothing. The main event was Jimmy Jacobs, who just earned back his spot in ROH, against Adam Cole for the ROH Title.

Steve Cornio sold Adam Cole’s new personality switch. He explained that Cole had always been that way. I thought he did a good job of establishing it as much as anything I’ve heard from Cole. Unfortunately, during this match they had to show the announce table which was situated  on the corner of the ring with the hard camera looking straight at it. It was quite easy to see that Kevin Kelly was using a hand held microphone. Steve Corino and guest commentator were sharing a microphone. If you’re so bush league that you can’t afford three head sets, you shouldn’t be shown on TV. The ring bell people were on the other side of the corner from them. I would have rather seen them than this display of bush league.

Jimmy Jacobs speared Adam Cole from the ring apron to the guard rail. Every cool spot. I really enjoyed this match too. I’ve been high on Adam Cole for a while but Jacobs held up his end of the bargain. Adam Cole did have a strange couple of spots right together. He could have pulled a heel move and been counted out but came back into the ring. It almost cost him the belt which was a nice near fall and submission attempt. The attempt is the other strange part since he hulked out after the referee lifted his arm for the third time. He’s a heel, he doesn’t get to hulk out. Jacobs kicking out of the Florida Key was a surprise.

– I enjoy Nigel McGuinness as an announcer. He can be a little dry but he does a good job. He made a stupid statement though. After the Florida Key and a little back and forth, Cole gave Jacobs a flip pile driver with momentum from the second rope. Nigel said “We’ll have to see if he got all of that.” It’s a flip pile driver, you should be toast no matter how much you got unless it was nothing. – Kevin

%d bloggers like this: