Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Red Dawn (2012)

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Oh god damn this was worse than I expected. Look; the original Red Dawn is just ok. It is looked back on with nostalgic eye with love but it isn’t all that good. The 2013 version of Red Dawn directed by Dan Bradley, tries to be different while having a foot firmly planted in the original. What the makers of this version of Red Dawn clearly didn’t understand about the original was that while it had action it was a film about family. The Wolverines were a group forced to come together as a family and protect to only each other but to defend their land. What you get with the remake is your typical current day PG-13 action movie full of loud explosions, bloodless violence and zero character development. Scenes roll from one to the next with no logic and absolutely no purpose. Yeah The Wolverines attack and defy those pesky North Koreans (Yes North Korea replaces Russia as the threat) and the war progresses. There are convenient excuses built in to keep explain North Korea as a legitimate invader but come on. Nothing matters in this film because nothing makes sense. Anything logical is explained away in simplest of terms or not at all. There is puppy dog love worked in to a war movie that rings hollow and none of the characters change one bit. Sure the two brother final get along at the end but then the movie ends of out the blue Nothing is resolved. Nothing matters at all. It is a total waste of time. -Jeremy

The Art of Wrestling – #TNA @ImpactWrestling’s 12 Days of Christmas

memegeneokerlund.com

memegeneokerlund.com

So I decided to move over to TNA this week to look for Christmas deals after covering the WWE last week. Before even getting to any of the deals, I was immediately confused. I don’t have a bookmark for WWEShop.com or ShopTNA.com. I go to their site proper and link to their shopping sites. As I scroll over the ShopTNA tab, the first thing I notice is the fact that both Hulk Hogan, who has been off TV since October, and AJ Styles, who may not be signed to a new contract, both have their own subsections. I understand that TNA needs to sell the merchandise that they have in stock. Since both gentlemen aren’t under contract and have had spats with Dixie Carter on air, the least they could do is remove their names from the pull down men.

When I clicked on ShopTNA.com, I then clicked on Happy Holidays deal banner. The first day I went to the site, Rockstar Spud greeted me. When I refreshed the site today, James Storm greeted me. Rockstar Spud should not greet me because he’s been on TV for all of three or four episodes and he’s a heel. Just bad marketing on their part. If he was a likeable heel like Christopher Daniels or Kazarian. Take the WWE as an example, they have recently started hawking their wares on TV. If memory serves, R Truth, the Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, the Funkadactyls and The Bellas have done the segment. What do they have in common? They’re all baby faces. The fact that Dixie Carter was in the marketing field prior to running TNA, one would think she’d recognize this problem. I’m glad they’re using Storm now since he fits the mold.

There is another problem with this page. TNA went with the Happy Holidays wording. But then their slogan is ” Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas with ShopTNA.com.” I celebrate Christmas but am perfectly fine with using Happy Holidays. What I don’t think you should do is mix the two up which is precisely what they did. This deal is a stinker too. TNA is giving away one free item per day from the 9th until the 20th. They have provided enough of a sample size at this point to know they’re not going to give away anything even as “expensive” as a shirt. Day 1 was an IMPACT Twisted Necklace. Day 2 got you a Dixie Carter Shop TNA exclusive Action Figure. They got daring on day 3 by offering not just a Jeff Hardy Souvenir Cup (which is being modeled by the no longer employed So Cal Val) and Coloring Book. Today’s gift is a random pair of sunglasses. Seriously. They aren’t even telling you which piece of garbage they’re going to send you. The only catch with this “deal” is that you need to order a physical gift so no MP3s or digital goods will get you this fabulous extra(s).

I’d love to nit pick actual presents but that is the only deal they have going for Christmas. Looks like I’ll have to go back to the bargain bin at WWEShop.com next week for your entertainment. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #240

mullet 001Jeremy & Kevin are your hosts this week. Though they are using better recording technology than a telephone, it is not working all that well to start. Bad connections get them to talk about bad referees. Jeremy veers the conversation into high school photographs. Are the pictures really air brushed now? What hairdo did Jeremy sport?  Kevin would have looked perfect in an Iroc -Z with his hair style. They finally get around to talking about wrestling and start with the imminent departure of AJ Styles from TNA. Why did TNA let him carry the title around the world if they weren’t going to re-sign him? Does the company owe him anything? Does he owe the company anything? Which one of the guys thinks that the WWE machine could turn Styles into something better? Jeremy & Kevin move along to talking about the build to TLC. The final segment sold the Randy Orton vs John Cena match, but did it throw off the story lines for CM Punk and Daniel Bryan? How much speculation came from Punk attacking HHH and Bryan kneeing Shawn Michaels? As for Punk’s opponents, who does Seth Rollins get compared to since he is the least hyped member of the trio? Who can Jeremy see imitating Nick Bockwinkel and Ric Flair in the character department? Can Jeremy remember anyone’s correct name from the Wyatt Family? Him and Kevin end the show giving their prediction for the main event of TLC. Find out who they picked when you click the link below.

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