Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Bad_Santa_by_zairiaI didn’t read the spoilers for this show. Considering most comments I read were “This wasn’t bad for a holiday show” means I’m in for three hours of fun. Let’s roll.

Oh, I can’t wait for the good Santa vs bad Santa match. Such hype. HHH, Stephanie & Kane come out. Stephanie mocks the fans. HHH introduces the Santa match. Steph gives us a six man tag match. HHH mentions some other match as I already tune out. I’m more interested in the Mad Town Nut Brown #SippyTimeBeer I’m drinking. Randy Orton comes out to bore us more. I’m already questioning the comments I saw. Randy Orton bores me with his speech. Kane wakes me with a send off. Yes, Mitchell Cool, Kane can be Smaug but enunciate it better.

The 12 Diva Belles match is next. Tamina starts against Nikki. Kaitlyn comes in for a second. Eva Marie gets clotheslined and takes on Summer Rae. Naomi tags in. AJ Lee mocks the match as she should. Alicia Fox comes in for her cup of tea. Cameron gets in her spots. Vickie antlers Brie. Aksana is next against Natalya. It ends up in a big fight. What did people read? Fucking seriously? I need to drink more. Sharpshooter on Akana. Boo for the fans. AJ killed it on head set. No Jojo either.

Sin Cara gets a terrible inset promo.  He’s going to give Curtis Axel a big L. This Sin Cara just looks different – JBL. No shit, most of us noticed the tattoo. Like a new man. – JBL. Sin Cara Swanton for another win as I discuss books with my lady. Hard to tell how much crowd noise they’re piping in. We get Big E Langston hype. Bad Santa gets a replay of his antics from last week. We’re still talking books. I can’t drink quickly enough after I see Big Show in a diaper as baby New Year.

Batista returns. Bad News Barrett is on a street corner. Alrighty then. At this point, I truly have no idea what spoilers people read. They could have at least said “It’s not bad for a holiday show but you’re going to be bored to tears.” Goldust, Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan are taking on the Wyatt Family, Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. I just notice that most of the crowd is wearing Santa hats. Yep, that’s the amount of attention I’ve been paying. Stare down between Bryan & Bray for a commercial break. The Wyatts are in control on Rhodes after the break. Goldust gets to take an ass kicking after a mini hot tag too. Sunset Flip Bomb by Goldie. Bryan & Rowan come in. Rowan gets kicked to death.  Flying Goat from the top rope. Bray interferes. Rowan gives him a big boot after a chase outside. Another break. The show is improving. Wyatt finally takes on Bryan after he’s beat down. Cody gets a hot tag against Harper. Bryan gets to top rope drop kick Bray. Rowan tosses Bryan into the barricade. Disaster Kick on Harper but Bray is legal. Sister Abigail for the win. Bryan gets a beat down that is stopped at a point. Good match.

Shockingly my buddy Ken doesn’t want to stay for the Good vs Bad Santa match. Xavier Woods & R Truth are going to sing for us. The Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre Jingle Bell us. Back to a bad show. Oh no, Santino & the Great Khali sing too. Why am I laughing? Draw your own conclusions. Santino & Khali win and get jumped by 2MB. The faces clean house. Woof.

Dolph Ziggler takes on Fandango in a what the fuck is on the pole? Ah, a match against Big E Langston. Have fun losing Dolph. Fandango rams Dolph’s head into the pole. Fandango grabs the present. Solid match but it deserved more time.

Titus O’Neil has to make up for Darren “Wrong City” Young. Millions of Dollars dance. They are taking on the Usos who don’t get to Haka dance. Is Darren Young getting it worse than R Truth for the locationally challenged? Young gets super kicked and splashed for the loss. I don’t pay much attention this time because my buddy Ken is here. We finally get Good Santa vs Bad Santa. What a relief.

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@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 13

It's never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

It’s never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

My apologies for not staying on track with the weekly Diva column. This write up is from the December 8 episode, which we quickly watched last night. Thankfully, I am only 1 episode behind and was told last night, the Diva’s are off till March, WOOP! So, I’ll have time to recoup some brain cells before the Diva’s return. Yea! (Kevin’s Edit: She’ll kill those recouped brain cells with cider beers.)

This weeks episode had some awkward moments in it. One that sticks out the most is  the one with Nattie and Eva Marie. Eva Marie told Nattie what a great outfit she had on (jeans and a t-shirt, really?) and Nattie said she was doing a photo shoot and then the scene just kind of ended, so either someone did a bad edit job, or the scene was a filler to get Eva Marie into more than just 2 scenes. I have to say, maybe next time just cut the scene, it wasn’t worth the minute. (Kevin’s Edit: This scene is an example of how boring Jojo is. They couldn’t make up a scene for her to be more than a wall flower.)

Nattie’s cat Gizmo passed away in this week’s episode and you see how Nattie and TJ react, awkward moment number 2. Are these two really married in real life because they don’t talk like two people in love at all. (Kevin’s Edit: You’re stealing my material lady.) They both seem so standoffish it’s uncomfortable to watch. Gizmo had a stroke and Nattie and TJ had to put Gizmo to sleep. I think the highlight of this episode is how Nattie is so upset about Gizmo dying but when she meets the girls for lunch she says ‘ So I’ll just be brief, Gizmo’s dead’…really? I’d hate to see her reaction if TJ bit the dust. ‘ So, I’ll just brief, TJ’s dead, I’ll have a salad with the dressing on the side please’. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I was doubled over in laughter reading those lines. Glad she cracked herself up too. It was really weird how blunt Nattie was.) Even Nattie’s support that TJ got back into wrestling she was like, ‘good job’. I was just like, she showed more emotion putting Gizmo to sleep than her husband getting back in the ring after a serious knee injury. (Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t sum up all of their awkwardness better.)

Brie and Nicole had their issues in this episode. Brie believes Nicole is more into playing house with John Cena than getting back into The Bella Twins. Brie has been solo for 5 months since Nicole has been healing and getting lots of recognition to a point where the producers approached Nicole about Brie going solo since she is still healing; and having Brie due the singles match for the Diva title and not allowing Eva Marie or Nicole to go out there, was a hit to Nicole. But in the end, after all the bickering, the sisters made up. (Kevin’s Edit: I thought it was cool to see Brie & Daniel Bryan working out together. I always pay attention to see if there’s something in them that I could add into my work out. Nothing new to what they were doing. Bryan saying that Cena would laugh at the weights he used was funny and self deprecating.)

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