@ImpactWrestling Total Nonsense Analysis

monkey-see– TNA is doing the same exact thing with Magnus that the WWE did with Randy Orton. Rockstar Spud & Dixie Carter should not be getting the heat for the new champion Magnus. At least in the WWE, people disliked HHH & Stephanie but they aren’t getting that kind of heat. I love the canned boos as the camera shows people talking to each other and sitting on their hands. Jeff Hardy screeching like a woman did not help himself look like a main event player. Neither did saying the title doesn’t mean anything to him is stupid. EC3 isn’t worthy of fighting a washed up Sting. That’s a pretty sad statement.

– Oh my goodness, Dixie Carter cut herself off with a commercial. Why did someone think this segment was a good idea? Gunner getting the title shot is a head scratcher to me. You just crowned a new young champion in Magnus. Give the shot to an established star who can help raise the new champion’s stock even if he cheats to win said match. Plus, Gunner is terrible on the mic and not so good in the ring. James Storm is a hard head for not accepting Gunner’s help. Having Storm winning the case would be a perfect tonic. Dixie Carter, no one cares that you’re stringing along this “major announcement.”

– The double DQ for James Storm and Gunner is a feud extender but I don’t care because they’re both stuck in this all too familar to TNA weird grey zone. James Storm bitched like a girl about Gunner selling him out at the bar and tossing him out of the way for a title shot. Gunner is defending himself but he’s not good enough verbally to dig himself out of the accusations.

Brooke Tessmacher calls out Bully Ray so that he can get some creepy horror movie music. “It’s going to get a lot worse for everyone.” So it’s going to be worse than you “Almost taking down TNA” within the past year if I’m to believe what they told me on TV? What’s your plan, get TNA going like a cockroach after a nuclear winter? Thanks for adding to my material to mock.

– The second video for Magnus was much better. He’s putting a little heat on himself with the Main Event Mafia conspiracy. He could feud with Samoa Joe. I wouldn’t argue in the ring.

– I like the Joseph Park character more than the Abyss character. But how long can you keep running a gimmick that has a timid man who can’t wrestle? He has been good enough on the mic to fill a manager role but is that what the person playing him wants? I have my doubts. They could re-imagine the Abyss character too and make him a hybrid of his current characters or a have him flip between the personalities. I’ll give this angle a chance.

– I liked the third video package from Magnus too. He showed spine which he hadn’t done for months. The looming specter of Rockstar Spud and Dixie Carter makes this an angle that could turn into a train wreck if his personality can’t stand out from those two bafoons.

– I know I’m not breaking any new ground with this statement but Lai’d Tapa is super green. Having her in there with ODB, who isn’t exactly a technician herself, makes for a tough match to watch. Even Lai’d Tapa’s facial expressions are bad.

Magnus video number four credited Dixie Carter for seeing his brilliance. Hit the brakes Mr. Engineer!

– Holy Shit Snacks as Pam Hoovey would say. That was Dixie‘s announcement? The Bromans are joining Rockstar Spud & EC3? That isn’t a big announcement. I wasn’t paying attention to Dixie’s “announcements” already. If you’re going to make terrible announcements like that, I’ll be sure not to pay attention. Nothing about the Bromans should concern Sting or Jeff Hardy especially since it’s a tag match. 4 Chumps vs 2 Main Eventers.

– While watching the match, Mike Tenay reminds me the announcement was the coronation of Magnus as champion was the big announcement. Whoops. It’s still not going to make me pay attention to her big announcements because that’s just standard wrestling procedure 101. I’m pretty sure I just heard the wreck. The engineer didn’t brake in time. Speaking of that tactic book, EC3 rolling up Sting with a handful of tights is classic heel move 101 and is the best thing they’ve done for him so far. Too bad he still sucks. Jeff Hardy is gone until light shines on this kingdom. Very Jeff Hardy like announcement. He may not be as good as he was in the WWE, but I still think he’s kept his act fresh with the talk over videos and little tweaks to his character. Hardy toned down his in ring act enough to stick around. Whether it’s an angle or real, (I don’t remember reading anything on the topic) this isn’t a good time for Hardy to be skipping town. – Kevin

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