News You Can Use: @ImpactWrestling Makes My Head Explode

not-aliens-well-my-head-is-about-to-explode

From Troll.me

I’m not going to follow Jeremy’s lead and erase TNA’s Impact Wrestling off my DVR. I probably should but then again when they serve you these mind bending events, you’ve got to stay tuned in. Let’s start off with the seemingly innocuous news that Jay Bradley and Wes Brisco were let go. Neither were valuable talents so you just chalk it up to TNA’s recent purge off a large roster. Which is down to 36 wrestlers with an additional 6 announcers and “Rampage” Jackson and King Mo Lawal who combined are their version of Brock Lesnar? They’re not that kind of a draw but I’m sure that was TNA’s thinking. TNA had also shed AJ Styles, Hulk Hogan and numerous other lesser talents recently.

Dixie Carter HintTNA is finally doing what we’ve suggested for years until I read this post from Prowrestling.net, Dixie Carter left a hints for new talents coming to TNA. Incredibly, she got her initial tease to be retweeted 1000. They used to enough people on the roster to get to that number, but not on this slimmed down version. After that, she revealed a clue. What you see to the right is what she decided to go with, initials. I love my mother, but last year when she left a clue for our family vacation it literally spelled out what we were doing. Dixie Carter just did the same exact thing, except I don’t love her so she’s not getting a pass. Come to think of it neither did my mom. She could have easily left a picture of a pair of wolves which would have accomplished the same task, been just as obvious but it at least would have been a more visually appealing tease. If you really wanted to tease through social media, I would have taken to Instagram (Or Vine) for a short howl video.

The tease isn’t what made my head explode though. If you just got rid of AJ Styles, why are you bring in Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards? They’re three very similar wrestlers, short, well built and quality wrestlers. They also have the same exact same deficiency that will keep AJ Styles out of the WWE, no microphone skills. So what makes Dixie Carter think they’ll be the solution? If they come in as a tag team, TNA’s tag team division is in shambles. They’re not going to have a quality in ring program with the Bromans. The American Wolves vs The Usos, The Real Americans, the Wyatts, The Shield, Goldust & Cody Rhodes or hell even 3MB excites me more than a feud with the Bromans. If they come in as singles wrestlers, what do they do? The X Division is a joke. It’s Chris Sabin and Austin Aries when he wants a shot at the World Title. Not exactly a hot bed of activity.

So good luck to TNA and the American Wolves on their new found union. May it last as long as an deer after a successful hunt. Or more than likely, this union will stink just like when vultures come to do their clean up work. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #244

Winning.

Winning.

If you don’t think it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, then you are a complete imbecile because it is absolutely time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio! This time around, your co-pilots are Kevin and Dusty, and oh my my, is there a lot to talk about! The two discuss the impending induction of Ultimate Warrior into the WWE Hall of Fame. Will his speech be as bat shit crazy as his old promos were? Who the hell is going to induct him? Is Vince McMahon crossing old vendettas off his list before he kicks the bucket? The two also get off on a side tangent here about Vince dictating in his will that his corpse still be involved in angles.

They also discuss how Monday Night Raw is usually really good during WrestleMania season, but express their frustrations on the whole Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt storyline. They also talk about ridiculous contracts being given out in professional sports (congratulations, Clayton Kershaw), make fun of the new Chicago Cubs mascot, and a whole lot more wackiness than you can shake a stick at, and it’s only going to take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else they’ll send Crowley after you!

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