Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #RoyalRumble

game_thrones_khaleesiI caught the beginning of the New Age Outlaws eventual win over Cody Rhodes & Goldust but not the actual victory so I’ll post those thoughts after I actually watch the match. (Next Day Note: I got the chance to watch this one this morning. It was a solid match. It’s still mildly confusing that the WWE puts people, in this instance the New Age Outlawas, in a heel spot while the crowd cheers them. I also don’t like that the bevy of young teams get to sit back and watch this go on. I enjoy the NAO when they come out from time to time but I don’t want to see them on the regular. I will until Wrestlemania at least though.)

The Royal Rumble itself starts with Daniel Bryan taking on Bray Wyatt. I also haven’t done the best of watching this one either. Although as Daniel Bryan gets momentum, it’s a little odd that they’re using this PPV in particular for Wyatt’s coming out party. Bryan goes for a Yes Lock but Wyatt bites his way out of it. Jerry Lawler & JBL do a good job of covering for Bryan doing a splash instead of the Flying Goat Head butt. Wyatt turns a suicide dive into Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail in the ring for the win. Um, okay. What does Bryan get as a return win? Why did the Wyatt Family just leave Bryan alone after the match? It makes no sense. Weren’t they promise to bring hell fire and brim stone down on Bryan?

Paul Heyman cuts a brilliant promo. He talks up Big Show then puts over his own talent in Brock Lesnar. Ben Roethlisberger is in attendance. Josh Matthews gets to play in studio host with Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and HBK. I feel like I’ve read about these segments but haven’t sat thru their uncomfortableness. It’s the exact reason I don’t watch studio shows for baseball, basketball, football, hockey or soccer.

Brock Lesnar gets a jump on Big Show. Heyman then gives him a chair. Lesnar beats down Show with the chair. JBL trying to defend Lesnar’s tactics is ill advised. I’m not sure why Mike Chioda is letting this happen. Big Show punches Lesnar after Chioda finally calls for the bell. I figured the chair would get punched into Lesnar’s face. Big Show is doing a good job of selling the chair beat down. Gigantic F5. Lesnar almost lost his balance but he kept it. Lesnar still looking worse for wear. Lesnar grabs another chair. Lesnar going out of his way to hit the back even as Big Show is laying on it. Should Stephanie come out and give Lesnar similar advice that she gave to Randy Orton earlier this week since he’s number one contender? Big show has got to be hurting. I’m not quite sure the point of this segment. I can understand reinforcing the anger angle but it drug out a bit longer than I’d like.

Solid promo out of the Shield. Seth Rollins playing peace keeper. Roman Reigns talking about his swagger was an indication he isn’t going to win. Dean Ambrose cracks me up a little bit. Randy Orton talks down all of his possible opponent. Renee Young in the leather jacket is cracking me up. Is she part of the Greasers? Randy Orton took so long getting down to the ring that I had time to drop off the scorpion peppers I ate last night. I can’t sit down. John Cena makes short order of his entrance. The beginning of this match is slow, which isn’t entirely bad. Cena cracks me up when he takes the stairs because he ducks down into them and pushes them up and away from him. (Next Day Note: Cena’s trying to make it look like it hurts more because of how far the stairs go but it just makes it look more fake to me.) Orton goes for a pin after a DDT but only gets two. I love Orton trolling the crowd. He gets an electric chair for the trolling. Cena and Orton fight back and forth. Cena’s top rope leg drop is awful. I’d have him take that out of his arsenal before any other move. A 2nd countered AA means that the third one will be the charm. Orton does the hanging DDT from the ring apron onto the floor mats. Orton rolls him back in but doesn’t get the pin. Cena locks in the STF but Orton gets to the rope. Orton hangs Cena out to dry. The referee gets knocked out. Of course this would happen in a tradition match. I feel like the WWE has gotten away from the ref bumps. I could be very wrong. Orton nails Cena with the belt. By the time Charles Robinson is awake, Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. The lady & I aren’t completely sure if the crowd is chanting “This is awful.” RKO but Cena kicks out. The lay out of this match has been odd. I thought they were getting into second gear but it jumped to third. Orton locks in the STF sleeper style. Cena transitions into a cross face. AA to Cena only gets a two count. Cena with the RKO but another kick out. Nice of Orton to jump up on Cena’s shoulders. Tornado DDT by Cena after an Orton reversal. Cena locks in the STF again. Cena drags him into the middle of the ring. The Wyatts music hits. Cena goes after the Wyatts. Randy Orton nails the RKO for the win. Orton walks out thru the crowd. The Wyatts attack John Cena. Sister Abigail. Interesting turn of events. The only reason I have to think Wyatt is a threat is his win earlier tonight, which also came out of nowhere.

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