Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

On Hold Music

From Amazon.com

I’ll do the intro tomorrow. It’ll explain the picture. (Next Day Note: So I got to start this column fairly late after being on hold with American Airlines who will do you the privilege of not charging you for a ticket for a whole 24 hours if you only use their airplane services. Unfortunately, my lady was also going to use Frontier on her itinerary so they’re going to charge her immediately. The call took long to answer so the woman needed to start over again ordering her ticket which only infuriated her more. Just to put whipped cream and a cherry on top of the situation, American Airlines didn’t send her a confirmation email but did send me her itinerary. Note to myself: Get her a new laptop. Another Note to myself: Don’t use American Airlines because they’re a pain in the ass.)

They give us a brief overview of John Cena’s last 24 hours. Stephanie & HHH get to kick off the show. I wish HHH had gone down the cry baby fans angle a little further. He crows about all the good stuff that happened at the Rumble. He works as a hype man. Stephanie announces Randy Orton in an Elimination Chamber match. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Stephanie with the condescending answer. He is stepping up big time. I mean, a Cleveland crowd is lively so Stephanie is clearly wrong. Power to the people is what Bryan is preaching. He wants into the Chamber. Bryan then steps up to HHH. I rewind to watch my boy Seth Rollins fall over the barricade. Bryan gets beat down from the Shield. Sheamus comes out to help but gets overwhelmed. John Cena makes the final save. Fun opening segment.

Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio are in the ring as a tag team. They are taking on the Real Americans. Jack Swagger not looking sharp against Sin Cara. Zeb Colter slaps Swagger. He ends up taking over against Sin Cara. A break? Really? Sin Cara DDTs Swagger for an opening. Cesaro gets dumped outside. He tosses Mysterio off the ring apron.  Mitchell Cool reacts to a roll up a little too forcefully (Next Day Edit: Cool acted like it was an innovative move which a victory roll is not.). Sin Cara can’t get the tag. He takes a rough looking drop even if it was flat. Mysterio finally gets the hot tag. He cleans house. Rey gets a couple of near falls on Cesaro but Swagger makes the save on the later. 619 on Cesaro. Sin Cara misses the Swanton and goes for a spring board. Cesaro catches him with the super upper cut. Neutralizer for the win. Here goes another Real Americans push.

Bad News Barrett has bad news for the TV viewers. We are warned of the Miz vs Dolph Ziggler in the battle of Cleveland. I can always love some Cleveland hate. Ah, the losers line. So our preview is the Monday Night Wars for the WWE Network? Wasn’t that already implied? If you’re not excited about a Summer Rae addition to Total Divas, you’re A) not male B) gay.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them a strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them some deep dicking from strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

Fandango is taking on R Truth. Xavier Woods is back on the head set. Woods claims JBL stole his number. Emmalution gets to dance a little more this week. Summer Rae plays the part of siren and Truth gets blasted with a clothes line. They love talking about Woods PhD. The match is way more about the announcing. Truth gets a two count. Round house kick by Fandango gets a two count. Truth Detector for the win.

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@WWE #RoyalRumble Rewind

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Jeremy:  Nice. So…..that was a disappointing ppv. Entirely un interesting outside of Brock and Wyatt matches.

Kevin:  I want to re-watch the Bryan vs Wyatt match. I didn’t get a good feel for it trying to settle in. Interesting time though to have Wyatt finally get a big win when he has no momentum.

 Jeremy:  I loved it. Didn’t mind the finish as well. Wyatt is and has been really good. The Trimble bites me to tears. I dozed off for some of it
 Kevin:  Of that match or just the end of the Rumble?
 Jeremy:  Entire thing. There were no interesting surprise. Batista was so winded I felt. Out of breath. Cena vs Orton was so fucking terrible it killed any momentum going in to the Rumble.
Jeremy:  I was shocked how bad it was. Cena/Orton. There was no chemistry last night.
Kevin:  Wanted to check what I wrote. It felt disjointed. First gear for a long time then jumped to third gear and fourth quickly.
Jeremy:  They kept doing each others finishers with no drama. The Wyatt interaction gives me hope.
Kevin:  With Cena? I’d settle for some consistent story for the Wyatts. My guess though is the Bella Twins get in trouble and Cena & Bryan need to make up and play nice to fight off the Wyatts.
Jeremy:  Hmm. Maybe but that is a huge step down for Cena.
Kevin:  So taking on the Wyatts by himself is a step up? The group that has already been infiltrated and haven’t won anything significant yet except for the match last night?
Jeremy:  No it isn’t really. That was the strongest Wyatt looked though. Cena on his own in a mid card match is weird enough. A mid card tag match is even lower.
Kevin:  I guess singles matches are marginally a step up. Story trumps the singles vs tag team situation to me in this instance. Bryan can still be mad at Cena for not saving him. They can drag that out. Will they be able to function as a team? All the usual shenanigans that go on with those types of stories.

Jeremy:  They can tie it in to Total Divas. I am just happy Wyatt seems to have a focus now. Giving him to Cena is huge for him.
Kevin:  What direction is that? Try to recruit someone, get rejected and lose to them with last night being the first victory?
Jeremy:  Yup. Baby steps. He got over on the guy who betrayed him. He had to look strong if he is facing Cena. Beating Bryan was a good step, especially clean. The guy that beat Cena and Orton clean must get beaten clean.
Kevin:  I just feel like it’s a “You got lucky” win even though it wasn’t presented that way. Wyatt hasn’t done squat in the ring but I’m supposed to believe he had a somewhat easy time beating the hottest guy in the company?
Jeremy:  I wouldn’t say it was easy. That was a damn hard hitting match. Very physical with both men looking strong. So Wyatt winning an even match was a good idea. You are correct with Wyatt not doing squat in ring. You apparently forgot the inferno match.
Kevin:  Okay smart ass. He beat Kane with help from Harper & Rowan. All of the Wyatt bashing I did too, doesn’t mean I think he’s done a poor job. Enjoyed the promos and the limited in ring work, I just think more of it is needed before they go for the jugular against the big boys.
Jeremy:  That was more me agreeing. Since that may be it. Him getting hurt didn’t help. They hot shot people at weird times. This may just be an Elimination Chamber match. What you think of Rusev? He gets the big thumbs up here. After only hearing his name and his praises it was nice seeing him deliver. He didn’t look lost out there.
Kevin:  He looked pretty damn good. Hard to judge too much with it not being a conventional match. His build reminded me of Taz if he were 6″ taller.
Jeremy:  Yeah he had the old school monster heel going. Hmm, not a bad comparison. I was disappointed to see him get tossed.

Kevin:  He was one of the few surprises. Nash was the other one. Neither lasted all that long.
Jeremy:  Nash was a big surprise. I expected more of a crowd reaction. If he had gone right after Punk then it would have worked for me in a larger storyline purpose.
Kevin:  Yeah, I felt like they passed on moving along story lines in this Rumble except for pumping up Reigns with his 12 eliminations.
Jeremy:  Right. I never once thought Reigns would win but he looked good. Is it too much to ask that he takes on Big E?

Kevin:  During the Rumble itself or are you thinking singles match at WM?
Jeremy:  Singles for WM. Big E is under rated doing his work. He is huge and doesn’t get blown up in ring unlike a certain asthmatic returning Royal Rumble winner. Can we copyright Royal Fumble? Auto-correct apparently saw the PPV.
Kevin:  Ha. Almost surprised I haven’t seen that before. I’m not sure it’s a fumble so much as not the way I’d do things. An Evolution show down isn’t near the main event Rock vs Cena is.
Jeremy:  Not at all. As a fan of Batista though I don’t mind. An if his reported actions after the show are any indication he is heeling it nicely. Picking up where he left off. Arrogant heel Batista is money. Maybe he can get Orton to show some life.
There is money in a Batista/ Bryan feud as well. Total contrast but they could pull it off.
Jeremy:  So are you in panic/ anger mode like so many?
Kevin:  So, where do I go now to find out people are panicking? Not that all of the people on FB are in agreement with every decision the WWE makes, but no one seemed to blow up there about Bryan not winning. So if I don’t see an over reaction there, I don’t know one is going on. To answer your question directly, it’s Wrestlemania season. The WWE writers have their thinking hats on, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until April 6th.

Jeremy:  I am in same boat with you. Thought the Rumble was boring and it has made me apprehensive for WM. The Brock Lesnar match made it pretty clear he is taking on Undertaker which should be good. The freakout from Foley and a lot of fans is what I was referring to.
Kevin:  I was wondering what you meant about the Lesnar match. I did read Big Show may be injured so that makes sense why the match went the way it did. I would like to see the WWE pull the trigger on someone like Bryan but I’m not pissed about it either. I doubt the WWE will keep Bryan down if he continues getting this reaction over even more time.
Jeremy:  Needs to have a consistent push in order for the variables to kick in. I did not see Big Show was injured so yeah makes sense. Bryan also needs the opportunity to talk. He hasn’t had nearly enough. When he has he has been good.

Kevin:  Plus, he has the Total Divas arm candy. If that show continues to be successful, Bryan won’t have any problems.
Jeremy:  Is it sum be to think there is a master plan? Foley and Bryan going to twitter seems to be a WWE thing. They are all about social media.
Kevin:  There’s that aspect too. Are they actually working us? I don’t know. At some point though, continuing to tease without a pay off will get you eaten by the wolf.
Jeremy:  Yes exactly.
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