Stunt Granny Audio #258

Malkin-meets-Putin-thumb

Vladimir Putin is not impressed by Evgeni Malkin. From penguins.nhl.com.

We’re back with an audio show about wrestling. How about that? Who is we though? Well, it’s Kevin and Shahid after a few technical difficulties. The list of topics was so simple that they kept on running into each other. They started off with the easiest topic, Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title. Who does the WWE give the title to? John Cena? Randy Orton? After those two, the WWE roster gets pretty thin at the top since CM Punk left and Daniel Bryan out due to injury. Would the WWE bring in Brock Lesnar to be champion? Why is Paul Heyman still touting him at every turn if he doesn’t come back for a shot he said he wanted before Wrestlemania? How awkward would it be if they decided to give the strap to Heyman’s other client, Cesaro? Would any of the young guys like Cesaro be considered? The WWE is giving us plenty of Rusev, so does he have a chance? Will Lana ever order him to “Crush” someone other than black gentlemen and Zack Ryder on the roster? Would the WWE give the title to Seth Rollins?  Speaking of Rollins, how good was his promo? How about Dean Ambrose? Last but not least, Roman Reigns? Or is he least? Would Ronda Rousey fit in with the Shield? Does the WWE give Ambrose & Reigns a third person or will they split up after this feud concludes? Because this is the first wrestling show in a while, Kevin & Shahid don’t conclude until they’ve answered all of these questions and more. Click on the link below to figure out those answers!

Main Event Review From Someone Who Actually Watches It

Night Sky by Mark Unrau by way of boombeats.com

Night Sky by Mark Unrau by way of boombeats.com

Triple H starts the show off with more star power than usual. He says that a lot of people are asking “Why?” lately. In particular, they’re asking why did the Authority strip Daniel Bryan of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship? Triple H explains that they did it for the fans because they deserve a fighting champion. He runs down the list of superstars who have already qualified. He then promises that there would be something magical, historical, and unforgettable at Money In The Bank; that being the guarantee of a new champion. He transitions to the other reason people are asking “Why?” and introduces Seth Rollins.

Seth Rollins comes down to the ring wearing a new gray suit/black shirt combo. I don’t really like it compared to his usual all black look. He says that when he laid out his now former partners he felt power like he never felt before. He calls it a power Reigns, Ambrose, and the fans would never feel because they are too afraid to create and seize opportunity. He praises Triple H as someone who knows how to get to the top and calls his former partners dead weight he needed to cut loose so he could “adapt and evolve”. Just as he says his new “Evolution of Seth Rollins” catchphrase he is interrupted by his opponent tonight Dolph Ziggler who calls Rollins a “self-centered scumbag traitor” who needs his “egotistical boss holding his hand”. Good opening promo.

Jimmy Uso vs. Luke Harper

As the match began the announcers wondered whether The Wyatts’ two victories ensured them a future shot at the Tag Team Championship. If that doesn’t then what does?  They go back and forth at the beginning until Harper throws Uso into the middle rope throat first. Harper then hits Uso with a suplex and goes for the Gator Roll into a side headlock. Uso fights out of the headlock and is finally able able to mount a major offensive move with a corkscrew somersault onto Harper. Uso is not in charge long as Harper nails him with a big boot. Uso backdrops Harper out of the ring on a running charge. Uso is cut off from hitting a suicide dive but a forearm. Harper re-enters the ring and goes for his spinning clothesline but Uso ducks, superkicks Harper, and pins his dazed opponent after a roll-up for the win. Decent short match.

Lana comes out to address American women who she calls slaves to commercialism. Lana calls them overweight and fat and says their men really want her but they can’t have her because Russian men are strong like Vladimir Putin.

Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Nothing much happens until Rusev clubs Kofi in the back of the head and stomps away viciously. Kofi gets only short hope spots as he is caught every time by Rusev. A fall away slam leads to Kofi being dumped to the outside where his is whipped from ring apron to retaining wall by Rusev. Back in the ring Kofi stuns Rusev with a dropkick but is caught again running the ropes by Rusev’s superkick. Rusev then finishes Kofi with The Accolade for the tap out. Rusev and Lana celebrate afterwards in front of the Russian flag.

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