Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Deathstalker (1983)

There is nothing awesome about this.

There is nothing awesome about this. Other than the poster.

I had always heard of a movie by the name of “Deathstalker.” There were whispers of this being possibly the worst movie ever made. I remember as a kid seeing the box cover in the video stores but it was Rated-R so it was off limits. Actually, most of the “Conan the Barbarian” style fantasy movies had the best Frank Frazetta style box artwork. SO even if the movie sucked you would never know it by the packaging. Enough about that though, “Deathstalker” is an incredibly bad movie actually bordering on an incredibly tragic level of film-making and I enjoyed every second of it. I am the same person who watched the entire running time, including credits, of Barbarian Queen, so it should come as no surprise. “Deathstalker” has everything you would expect; terrible swordplay, gratuitous (wonderful) breasts, rancid acting, incoherent plot and the list goes on and on. The movie has no sense of continuity in long form storytelling let alone form scene to scene. As with the other movies of its time and genre this was nothing but a cash grab trying to rip dollars from audiences thinking they were getting another “Conan.” Instead you get a poorly conceived flick that may be too much for some people to stomach. I implore you to battle through just to build your will. -Jeremy

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