I may have had my annual condominium meeting yesterday, but the day was all about waiting for the US Men’s soccer team taking on Portugal in the Amazon jungle at Manaus. It was the greatest game with the worst ending that I’ve had the pleasure of watching. The fact that the US is keeping up with Portugal is pretty awesome. Giving up a lead with 30 seconds though blows big time. I’m sure I’ll be completely useless on Thursday during game time at work. Saving the toughest opponent in Germany isn’t going to make things any easier.
Stephanie McMahon calls out Vickie Guerrero. I don’t care. Hell of a way to start the show. Especially due to the fact that this one is over coffee. Vickie watches Raw but Stephanie doesn’t since she spotted Reigns spiking the drink. If they used the coffee comment to kick start this segment, it was stupid. Stephanie gives her the old run down including the Eddie insults. They reward us with giving Vickie an option for a match. Stephanie is her opponent. I guess she’s going to put those work outs with HHH to the test. Vickie uses Eddie’s “Lie, Cheat & Steal” thinking. The crowd is behind Vickie. Please stop reacting. What is up with Mitchell Cool’s suit jacket?
Luke Harper is taking on Jimmy Uso in a singles match. We all can’t wait for Erick Rowan vs Jey on Smackdown. A super kick is the first big move that gets a two count. Jimmy runs into the Clothesline From the Bayou. So we got a two minute match after that fabulous opening segment? We only have to wait for a commercial break for Rowan vs Jey. Twitter, stop making Vickie vs Steph trend. I’m begging you. It’s okay to not blow everything the WWE puts on TV. Super kick to Rowan that whacks his head against the ring post. Jimmy takes out Harper. Jey with the Snuka splash for the win. The Wyatts gets the upper hand after the match. They hold up the gold ensuring they won’t win. Bray Wyatt congratulates Harper & Rowan before talking about trampling souls all over the universe. I dig the man’s style.
Of course we have to have the Rusev & Lana in DC segment. I should really start FF the segments with these bozos. Paige is joining the announce crew. She can’t believe she still has the belt. Just in case Total Divas didn’t suck enough, you can watch it now on the WWE Network. Cameron comes off far less bitchy when she tries to. Paige is at least likable. She needs some work. Naomi is taking on Alicia Fox as they don’t pay attention to it. They are trying to pull her Total Divas persona into it. Naomi would be a complete moron not to get rid of Cameron after this match. It isn’t helping that Cameron has no support for any of her arguments. Naomi wins with a Final Cut. Paige and Naomi have a stare down. Mitchell Cool can’t wait for the match between the two after telling us at least three times that Naomi beat Paige on Main Event last week. Sheamus asks Roman Reigns is ready to fight. Sheamus reminds Reigns that he has some pay back coming to at MITB. Reigns doesn’t believe in magic, he believes in Roman Reigns. They’re doing the smart thing with Reigns, Keep It Simple Stupid.
Titus O’Neil is taking on Bo Dallas. Let’s go Bo! chant is happening. O’Neil is beating down Dallas early. Running Bo-dog for another victory. O’Neil knows what happens when all the other jobbers get fired. Dallas grabs the mic after O’Neil swats it to the outside. This stuff cracks me up. He’s so obnoxious.
HHH gets another top of the hour segment. Thanks McMahon Family. Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, RVD and Bad News Barrett are joining Seth Rollins in the traditional MITB match. Rollins shows he’s a smart man by already having his own t shirt. He asks why the crowd isn’t over something that happened three weeks ago. Ha. Rollins is interested enough in the subject to repeat his “Architect” talking points. RVD comes out. Rollins throws out the 2005 reference. Best RVD promo in maybe forever. It’s nothing to write home about but the stoner sounded decent. RVD talks himself into a match with Rollins. RVD monkey flips Rollins across the ring. RVD nails the plancha and follows it up with moonsault from the apron. Break time. Rollins is in control after the break. He covers for a cover after a swinging clothesline take down. Rollins tries to wear down RVD. The leg scissors pin was a slick move but still ultimately pointless. RVD nails Rolling Thunder. RVD goes for the splash but Rollins distracts him. RVD counters with a Tornado DDT. RVD misses the Five Star. Buckle Bomb. Curb Stomp. Dean Ambrose attacks for the DQ. Ambrose is playing up the crazy angle by jumping on the announce table to attack Rollins. Amborse threatens to screw up MITB if he doesn’t get into the traditional match with Rollins.
HHH tries to talk Rollins out of requesting Ambrose to be put in the match. He tells HHH he needs to be a ring general with Ambrose. He needs to have eyes on him. I got this. HHH puts Ambrose in the match. Best speech by Rollins, hands down. Bad News Barrett has some bad news for us. Dolph Ziggler compares him to the Washington Redskins. Much better done than the Rusev & Lana combo. The segments are in the same spirit, run down the city we’re in.
The match between Dolph Ziggler and Bad News Barrett starts after with a big announcement from Justin Roberts. Interesting. I figured Dolph was going to lose after seeing him win last week at the Smackdown tapings. Mitchell starts getting shit about his jacket. I’m going to guess Twitter is helping out. Drop kick by Ziggler leads to an early pin. Barrett clotheslines Ziggler outside. Back elbow by Ziggler. Weird looking cross body. A neck breaker takes the starch out of Ziggler for some reason. Winds of Change by Barrett. Zig Zag but Dolph is still injured. Barrett rolls to the outside. Ziggler thinks elbows will get him a victory. Barrett drops an elbow of his own off the ring apron. Barrett kicks Ziggler in the gut from a top rope position. Ziggler kicks out. Barrett misses his attempt off the top. Barrett tosses Ziggler in the air to pancake him. Wasteland only gets a two count. Barrett is hot at the ref. Barrett misses the Bull Hammer. Ziggler only gets two on the Fame Asser. Ziggler rolls into a crucifix pin. Barrett nails the Bull Hammer to retain. Fun stuff. Not surprised by the outcome but the WWE seems to be getting behind Ziggler again. They’ve let him shine in some losses recently. Renee Young asks Vickie how concerned she is. She has been insulted her whole time in the WWE. She has no regrets. Randy Orton greets her. She’s going to get what she deserves tonight. He’s going to get what he deserves on Sunday.
We get the traditional mud wrestling match. The first one to go into the pit loses the match. Steph brings out Layla, Rosa Mendes and Alicia Fox on Vickie. The crowd is finally realizing how confusing this segment is. They decide to put her down. She pushes Rosa into the mud. She side steps Layla. Alicia Fox tries to get the jump but doesn’t. Stephanie sneaks up on vickie and tosses her in. As Steph sings “Goodbye”, Vickie tosses in Stephanie. The segment becomes more hilarious when Chad Patterson falls into the mud substance.
Goldust is talking to Byron Saxton. He saw Stardust, who comes in singing. Goldust is excited that he’s the normal one. Zeb Colter is in the ring with Jack Swagger. Kofi Kingston is his opponent. The announcers get to talk up Kofi’s spotfest abilities. Swagger is working over Kofi. Fulcrum kick by Kofi turns things around. Kofi clotheslines Swagger outside. Kofi drop kicks him when he gets back in. Swagger catches him from the top. Kofi somehow got on Swagger’s shoulder to roll him up. Swagger puts on the Patriot Lock. Kofi finally taps after Swagger drags him away from the ropes. Alberto Del Rio tries to sell himself as credible. Paul Heyman and Cesaro are not impressed. Del Rio calls Cesaro a puppet. Cesaro doesn’t speak loser.
Damien Sandow is now dressed as Abraham Lincoln. Big E will do much better without the name Langston. The announcers are cracking themselves up. Big Ending. Woof. Big E wants to defend the Land of the Free. Shouldn’t he be doing this schtick with with Zeb Colter? Lana comes out because she hasn’t sucked enough yet. Rusev blasts Big E from behind. The Accolade is applied for a long time to I guess impress us. This guy couldn’t suck more.
Raw wouldn’t be Raw without John Cena talking to Renee Young. He delivers one of his good style promos where he actually talks about his goal without telling bad dick jokes. (Next Day Note: I know it’s been said plenty of times before, but I would like Cena much more if this was the one that showed up all of the time. I don’t think it’d hurt his standing in the company or with his fans, who don’t get the awful dick jokes.)
John Cena starts against Randy Orton. Sheamus gets in quickly. ADR had a cup of coffee. Cena comes back in to take on Cesaro. He gets the upper hand to allow Bray Wyatt to keep beating on Cena. ADR has Cean in a chin lock back from break. Cesaro tagged himself in. Cesaro puts Cena in a Boston Crab. Cena picks Cesaro’s leg. Cena back body drops Cesaro out of the Neutralizer. Roman Reigns comes in. (Next Day Note: I’d have to say Reigns got that type of response at the SD tapings. Not sure how well it came across since I didn’t watch after attending.) Poor ADR is in the match. Reigns cleans house but it allows ADR to hit a Back Stabber. He tags in Wyatt. Cross body block by Wyatt. Randy Orton takes control of the beat down on Reigns. Wyatt goes for a corner splash when Reigns nails him with a Superman Punch. Sheamus gets tagged in against Cesaro. Sheamus tosses Cesaro into ADR, which knocks him off the apron. Clubbing blows on the outside. Sheamus hulks up. Spot where everyone hits their finishers. Brogue Kick on Cesaro leads to the win though. Kane shows up. He takes out ADR, Cena and Roman Reigns. Kane gets speared by Reigns after he’s named as the eighth entrant into the MITB Title match. – Kevin
Filed under: WWE News, Kevin's Blog, TV Recaps | Tagged: AFP/Getty Images, Bad News Barrett, Bill Murray, Brazil, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, JBL, Jerry Lawler, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Lana, Lost In Translation, Luke Harper, Manaus, Michael Cole, Mitchell Cool, Paige, Portugal, Renee Young, Roman Reigns, Ronaldo, Rusev, Scarlett Johansson, Seth Rollins, Sheamus, Sofia Coppola, Stephanie McMahon, The Amazon, Tim Howard, USMNT, Vickie Guerrero |