News You Can Use: Fire Crotch, Murder and More Sorensen

Ivelisse Fire CrotchIvelisse Velez was on Tattoo Nightmares on Spike TV. Thanks to Prowrestling.Net for pointing out it’s airing. What, you mean you don’t remember her from Tough Enough either? I’m glad I’m not the only one. I decided to tape it since it didn’t air during my usual viewing time at the gym. For those of you who didn’t watch, Ivelisse thought it was be a good idea to get a sexy tattoo of a phoenix rising…on her crotch. Because the phoenix is below her bikini (look up dummy) or tights line, it appears as if her crotch is on fire. The other problem, not pictured above, is that the phoenix is a negative image inside of all of the flames. Ivelisse didn’t think of the implications until fans chanted “fire crotch” at her.  She was smart enough to whore herself out and get more TV time by going on the show to get it fixed. Jasmine Rodriguez was her tattoo artist. Ivelisse wanted something more womanly and decided to go with a flower. Jasmine was smart enough to not go too much larger than the original tattoo and came up with a solid design. The only problem is she now has a much better done flower crotch. If Ivelisse has ever watched wrestling, she’d realize that once you have a nickname, it sticks with you even after you spend a decade in Japan and come back under a new persona. Have fun still being called “fire crotch” for the rest of your indy career.

Former WWE developmental Brian McGee fatally stabbed his girlfriend Bianca McGaughey. McGee will be charged with first degree murder when he gets out of the hospital because of course this dumb ass fled from the police and crashed his car. What are the chances that the sports media trots Vince McMahon in front of cameras and grills him about the back ground of his wrestlers like they did to Bill Belicheck about Aaron Hernandez? None, that’s what I thought too.

If you didn’t get our fill of Jesse Sorensen news in our podcast below (Seriously, it’s right there. I’m not even going to link to it. If they change pages, just hit next page you lazy bum.) Sorensen is now claiming that a friend put up his GoFundMe.com page and took a jab at Dixie Carter. Sorensen wasn’t concerned enough with the inflammatory remarks to get his meat head of a friend to take down the post. How about removing it while denouncing the post? Just go ahead and keep the money so that you don’t become the next Daniel Lugo. Thanks. -Kevin

Ivelisse Flower Fix

The tattoo is better but is flower crotch better?

Stunt Granny Audio: @wrestlingmuseum George Tragos/Lou Thesz Hall of Fame Special

(L to R) Cool dudes.

(L to R) Cool dudes.

Eric and Dan tag-team this special edition of Stunt Granny audio, discussing the events of this year’s George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum in Waterloo, Iowa. (Whew!) The guys discuss their growing gang of traveling wrestling fans who descend on Waterloo each year, and all of the cool stuff they saw and people they met. From the training session to the closing speeches by Edge and Charlie Thesz, and all of the Jim Brunzell stories, beers and Doughy Joey’s pizza in between, it was a fantastic weekend that, as Jim Ross and Gerald Brisco believe, you need to attend in order to appreciate. Check it out!

Stunt Granny Audio Show: Stunt Granny Audio:George Tragos/Lou Thesz Hall of Fame Special

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Asiana Flight Down Name Faux PauxIf for some reason you didn’t see this botched moment in TV history, head on over to Gawker. It’s too funny. Today has been a good day. No more Idiot Intern at the office. My life will be better. In celebration, I’m drinking a Founder’s Breakfast Stout. Sounds like a good Sippy Time Beer for a review. Let’s roll.

Brad Maddox gets to kick off the show. He announces Ziggler vs Del Rio. So we get the official break up tonight then between him & AJ Lee? John Cena interrupts him. Maddox’s facials kill me. Maddox gives Cena the choice of his opponent at Summerslam. Cena tries to talk him out of it. I wasn’t sure if I had read the end of the PPV results because of the hectic work day. Randy Orton gets the briefcase. They have been trying to re-establish him. A weird twist with Fandango coming to the ring. He tells Orton that he’ll be cashing in on him, not Cena. He then gives Cena a speech lesson. Orton attacks Fandango. Brad Maddox makes it a match. We get a commercial.

Fandango is a good chicken shit heel. JBL calling Fandango a cross of MC Hammer & GSP. The crowd is getting around to chanting random stuff. Orton loves to slow it down. Fandango goes slow into another break. The announcers are really selling Fandango. He’s not going to win. They are really selling a Fandango win except for the camera angle when he gets crotched.  Hanging DDT then an RKO for the win. Dolph Ziggler is walking down a hallway when AJ Lee starts running after him. Dolph tells her it’s time to move. She hugs him. He drops her. Awesome.

We get Mark Henry in a suit again. He is interrupted by The Shield. They circle the ring. I like the slow stalk. Triple power bomb. First significant attack as a trio in a while. That’s another way to keep them fresh as much as they need to be apart.

Brad Maddox gets run down by Chris Jericho. Maddox wants him to impress Cena by taking on RVD. It is official. Alberto Del Rio comes out first. Dolph Ziggler is getting quite the reception. They mention Damien Sandow winning the other MITB match. Kind of a good point since Del Rio is a heel and I don’t feel like they’ve had too many same side attacks. Ziggler is on the outside when we get a break. I’m just enjoying a good match when AJ Lee rings the bell. Ziggler gets kicked in the back of the head for the Del Rio win. AJ slaps Ziggler around until Big E Langston takes him out. I knew that was coming but still well done.

R Truth is showing looks of fore head for some reason. Bray Wyatt lights the lamp. I may have lobbied for Kane to join their group but I’m sure as hell not going to do the same for Truth. I love their entrance music. Piper & Rowan is what I think Mitchell Cool said. Bray grabs a mic and walks into the ring. Bray gets a laugh out of me when he calls himself the “Eater of Worlds”. He faces down R Truth one on one with a chair. Piper & Rowan distract Truth long enough for another beat down. Wyatt finishes him with a Downward Spiral. I’m a little lost after those words. It’s interesting but doesn’t make much sense to me. I’ll let them explain his character more.

The WWE Performance Center opened. It does look pretty cool. The Real Americans come out for their fan vote match. Zeb Colter gets to run his mouth. The Usos get a call from the fans. People seemed impressed by their pre-MITB match with the Shield. The crowd likes chanting “We The People” but not much else for these chumps. Cheap roll up win on Cesaro. I’m not sure why you match those two teams up.

Continue reading

Thoughts from 2013 George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions

Edge_Crew

Edge and the crew. Men, whether from a warehouse or not.

We’ll have an accompanying podcast with Eric and Dan, as soon as we figure out the Bossjock app. Great app, great sound, bad user. In the meantime, here are some quick thoughts on the weekend in Waterloo, Iowa, attending the George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions.

DoughyJoeys

Arrival: I lived and worked in Waterloo, Iowa, for three years, so I’m familiar with the town, and I’m glad the events take place within walking distance of the Doughy Joey’s pizza restaurant when I’m feeling fat, and a Subway when I feel like Doughy Joey’s made me too fat. The Quality Inn across the street from the convention center is sleepable, and usually bookable when the neighboring Ramada is at full capacity with wrestlers and legends.

TrainingSession

Training session: Three years ago, the public was able to attend not just the abbreviated wrestling matches among the tryout squad but also Mick Foley and Terry Funk offering their critique. We haven’t been as lucky in years past with Jim Ross and Gerald Brisco at the helm – which stinks because who better to offer advice – but my two new thoughts are, one, maybe it’s none of my business how well “Mean” Mike took an armdrag, and two, I have all weekend to talk to J.R. and Gerry direct.

MattyStar_JakeMilliman

Impact Pro Wrestling: Promoter Troy Peterson and trainer Travis Shillington run a top-shelf independent promotion. From starting the show right on time, to striking a good balance between local and known wrestlers, to booking the right number and types of matches, to drawing lines between heat-seeking heels and sympathetic babyfaces, IPW is a gimme on a weekend full of various pro wrestling activities. http://www.impactprowrestling.com (P.S. The card featured local indy Matty Star vs. local former AWA enhancement talent Jake “The Milkman” Milliman. All the more reason for Wade Keller to start driving down here in July.)

HotelBar

The hotel bar: If you’re going to the pro wrestling hall of fame, you ought to go where the pro wrestlers and hall of famers hang out after the show. The Red River Inn has your basic beer selection but some really good food – get a couple orders of the Italian nachos to last you and your table for a while – and a jukebox that’s quiet enough to still hear Baron Von Raschke tell stories. It’s also a great chance to BS with the guys from Impact Pro Wrestling – they’re all cool, even Tony Sly.

BrianShields

“History of WWE” presentation by Brian Shields: We weren’t sure what place a presentation on a highly political, often controversial entertainment company had at a museum dedicated to the century-long connection between the respected journeymen who made the transition from amateur to pro wrestling. What we saw was a polished presentation about a company we grew up on, with content that tied back to the weekend’s honorees, delivered by a great public speaker who is clearly a fan and a professional. The Q&A that followed gave good insight into the thought processes of a global company that has many audiences and stakeholders to answer to.

Brisco_JR

VIP Q&A: At the Impact Pro Wrestling Show, those of us who bought the ringside package received passes to a private Q&A at 12:30 p.m. the next day. Knowing the weekend included a 1 p.m. AWA legends roundtable, we didn’t know what the VIP Q&A would entail. It began with Jim Brunzell giving highly entertaining answers to our round of questions, followed by Jim Ross and Gerald Brisco answering 90 minutes worth of our questions. Never would I think I nor our group of friends would have a private audience with my favorite announcer of all time and one of his best friends and such an influential person in pro wrestling. These two are so passionate about wrestling and the museum, and it shows in all of their answers.

GeorgeNapolitano

Induction reception: When I was married, we booked the same venue for the ceremony and the reception, and we booked the place for an extra hour we called “cocktail hour,” meant for our guests to drink and mingle in a separate room while we signed our license and took a deep breath. What did our guests do? They went straight to the reception area and sat their asses down at a table so they could claim their spots for the night. Same thing happened here, eliminating what used to be the fun mingling aspect of the hour. No fault of anyone but the guests.

GeraldBrisco_Crew

Banquet: Great food, great service, mostly fully stocked bar. I thought Dan was going to throw a fit when he had to mix his Crown Royal with Pepsi instead of Coke. Rather than show anger over missing out on his favorite mix, Jim Ross instead ordered a cranberry vodka. Good call, as usual from J.R.

CharlieThesz

Induction ceremony: Two hours of classy speeches from grateful people who have excelled in their chosen professions, or the people who knew them best. Jim Brunzell’s thank-you to his wife was an emotional start to the evening; Chris Taylor’s widow Lynn was well-spoken and full of stories; Jim Ross and Gerald Brisco spoke highly of Bill Watts and Ric Flair, respectively; George Napolitano was engaging and played off our terrific emcee, Arda Ocal; Matt Hughes’ speech was short but nice; and Edge added a few laughs and a heartfelt note about Curt Hennig, whose parents were in attendance. Wonderful event, and the legends stayed after the event to snap pictures and chat with fans when they weren’t at all obligated to.

The hotel bar: It took me 15 minutes to bring your beer back, Dan, because I was chatting with Jim Brunzell’s wife, Mary. It was worth the wait. Dan and Troy Peterson, IPW promoter, exchanged information. I managed to snap one more picture with Edge, who was so accommodating all weekend. Chatted with Brian Shields at length, despite him needing rest for his 6:45 a.m. flight. Baron Von Raschke, aka Brad Pitt, thanked us for coming to town for the weekend. And we drank a lot of beer.

Overall: Having never been to the wrestling hall of fame in New York, nor the Cauliflower Alley Club in Las Vegas, I don’t know how accurate the following statement is, but I’ll still make it: You’ll never get an opportunity like this, to mix with the heroes of your childhood and, in some cases, adulthood, unless you plan to make the trip to Waterloo, Iowa. It’s worth the investment, if not only to see it for yourself, but also to support the history of professional wrestling, backed by the men who lived for it.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

thiefI went late making dinner so I’m skipping an introduction about my weekend except to say, criminals aren’t smart. Let’s roll.

We start with a Wyatt clip. Interesting timing with it being the Go Home show before Money In The Bank. Brickie introduces the show officially. Jerry Lawler thru the WWE is letting us grade Vickie. She tells us about the MITB participant matches for Raw. The first of which is Daniel Bryan taking on Sheamus. She’s had so many almost and definitely firings that no one in their right mind could say this will be her best Raw because she’s had ten others.

They got a commercial break before the match started. Bryan and Sheamus get another commercial break when they collide into the barricade. The match is in full swing when we get back. Nice of them to trade the kicks then forearms. Sheamus kicks out after a boot to the head. Flying Goat air balls. Daniel Bryan with the small package out of a Cloverleaf. Nice work. A reporter who did his job poorly got lost on his way to find the Wyatt compound.

AJ Lee is giving Big E Langston. He gives her positive reinforcement. Dolph Ziggler comes into the picture. He thinks she’s too worried about Kaitlyn. They’re still good for now. Doing a nice job so far.

Tons of Funk are set to take on The Shield, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns. Brodus Clay gets to be the punching bag after Tensai started out strong. Tensai gets the hot tag which will inevitably lead to him getting pinned. Rollins kicks out after a power choke slam. Reigns with a spear for the win. They could use Tons of Funk more and make the tag team division more viable. Don’t worry, I know that horse is dead and buried. Several times.

This camera man blows. Can you wait until you look up to hit record? Brodie Lee tells the dumb ass to follow him. I forget his Wyatt name. John Cena comes down to the ring first. Mark Henry comes out when invited. Cena goes for the joke first. Ugh. Henry laid out his case. I was really hoping Cena would compare Henry’s stance to his against the Rock at Wrestlemania. Cena goes for the baby face challenge that the heel will never take the bait. Cena jumps like a little girl when Henry fakes charges him. Henry blindsides him. Cena crumples under the Attitude Adjustment to make it more Herculean of a task on Sunday. World’s Strongest Slam. Josh Matthews talks to Randy Orton about CM Punk. Orton will not wait to cash in his chance should he win it.

Continue reading

Get under the covers with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

V56TQvD

See, because when her weight is up, she looks like Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, and not at all like what she would want you to believe she looks like, which is 1996 Sunny. Such is life. – Dusty

Gabe Sapolsky hates money, pro wrestling, you

For no reason

For no reason

Quote Mike Johnson:

When I reached out to Sapolsky, he noted that they would not be working with Wrestlecon this year as they could not come to a “business arrangement” with Highspots.com, the primary promoter/sponsor of the event due to the costs involved with the Wrestlecon venue.

Okay, so here’s the deal as I understand it. Wrestlecon is the indy’s way of weaseling in on the cash cow that is WrestleMania weekend. I believe all the promotions should band together for this event, as a way of maximizing profit for all parties. Since this is wrestling and that would seem to make sense, no dice there.

Wrestlecon is currently slated to be this amount of shit sandwich:

* Saturday AM session, 10 am to 4 pm: Includes admission to vendors, autograph and photo sessions; Marty DeRosa comedy show; $5 Wrestling event; & more.

* Saturday PM session, 7 pm to 1 am: Includes admission into the signing & vendors area; an independent show; a live taping of Colt Cabana’s podcast; & more. For an additional $25, fans can upgrade to a front row ticket.

*Sunday session, 10 am to 3 pm: Includes live tapings of The Kevin Steen Show & Old School with Steve Corino; & admission to the signing & vendor area; & more.

Meanwhile…

the “WWN Live Experience” in a separate venue is “live events and iPPV shows from Evolve, Shimmer, Kaiju Big Battel and Dragon Gate USA, with shows on Friday, multiple shows on Saturday and Sunday afternoon.”

So Gabe Sapolsky’s aversion to doing good things and making money shines through again. He’d rather get into an “I can one up you!” pissing contest, thus spreading the indy dollar thin and no one wins. As Jeremy put it early today, Gabe is that liberal college douchebag who doesn’t care about making money. Maybe his brain is doing a semester abroad to try to find itself.

And ROH? Well, ROH will get back to you real soon! – Dusty

Kevin’s Blog: Open Letter To The Columbus #Crew96

Red Bulls vs The Crew

I might not have any pictures like this on my Instagram account any more. Thanks Crew Sales team for being a bunch of tone deaf morons.

Kevin,

We value your commitment as a Crew season ticket holder and want to ensure we are helping you maximize your season ticket holder experience. To date, your membership score is 65.3 (out of a possible 100 points) of your membership. There are many factors that contribute to your Membership Score, so I wanted to share some suggestions to help you take full advantage of your season ticket holder experience.

I got an email yesterday from the Columbus Crew. After the part of the letter above, they decided to list the ways that I could become more involved with the club. I think their intention was to tell me “You have more stuff you can take advantage of” but I can’t get around the score part of this email. I know I shouldn’t be insulted by it, but I am. Even after getting a “clarification” today, I am still mad because the problems still persists in the apology. We, the fans, were at blame for misinterpreting their email. I didn’t misinterpret anything, you told me I was 65.3% of a fan. How about someone speak up at the sales meeting and say “This is an awful idea that insults the people we are trying to get to purchase more tickets.” Evidently a bunch of spineless cowards works under Mike Malo, Senior Vice President of Sales & Marketing, and Tom Bowden, Director of Client Services, who sent the initial email.

The first major purchase I made after my financial crisis was to purchase a full season ticket to the Crew because they are the only team in Columbus that I truly root for. I didn’t go to school at Ohio State. I didn’t even grow up in the state. Though hockey is my favorite sport, I don’t truly root for the Columbus Bluejackets. In fact, I have told their reps, many of them over the years, that I am a Pittsburgh Penguins fan and am purchasing tickets solely to see them play. I am currently holding a pair of half season tickets and a PSL at Nationwide Arena. They realize that the job of a salesman is to be nice to the customer who is forking over his hard earned dough. The Bluejackets to this date have not sent me an email this insulting despite the fact that I tell them I’m actively rooting against their team.

Speaking of hard earned dough, one of the reasons I can afford to have both season tickets to the Crew and the Bluejackets is because I take my job very seriously and work on Saturdays to finish jobs that need to get out of our office. Does that cause me to miss some of the events that the Crew and the Bluejackets host? You better believe it does. It’s pretty clear that Mr. Malo & Mr. Bowden don’t work hard enough at their jobs or else they wouldn’t have sent out such a boneheaded email. Also falling under the hard earned money concept is the fact that I’ve bought tickets for my girlfriend the last two years to multiple games even though she doesn’t like soccer. She wanted to spend more time with me. I went from purchasing single game tickets last year to upgrading her to a 10 game package this year. Maybe since I’m only 65.3% of a fan, I’ll stop purchasing her tickets. Maybe since I’m closer to only being half a fan than a full fan, I’ll down grade to half a season plan. That will help you get to your goal of 10k full season ticket holders, right? Since you have been working on that plan for 3 years now, I’ll go ahead and give you a 0.00 for your rating as a sales team. –Kevin Gold Level Member #2425281 (Not For Long)

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Ken at KaraokeI was so bummed that Instagram’s 15 second video crapped out on me when Ken was doing Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. I was going to post that video as a separate post. Instead, we get a picture by yours truly. It’s a bit of a bummer. The video was good. By the way, no more Baby Momma Drama. Awesome. Time to start Raw. Let’s roll.

Wow. Just scrolled down to look at the posts and saw Terry Taylor in a hot tub. I have no idea what Vickie Guerrero just told us because of it. Daniel Bryan kicks off the show. Sheamus, Randy Orton and Kane all have a part in this party. I have to defend Christian‘s mediocrity to the lady. CM Punk does the predictable thing but he does rile up a hornet’s nest. RKO on Kane ends the segment. Cool history review for the titles. That’s what Vickie announced, title vs title. Those matches never come to a finish.

The Shield comes out for a six man tag match. They should have had Christian come out earlier in the opening segment with his match next. The Usos join him again. The Shield on the outside as they break. The Shield has taken over. Jey is taking the beating. Nice of the announcers to barely mention the differences between the Usos. I just remembered the Jey has the pec tattoo. Fun visual with Roman Reigns and one Uso going over the top rope. Dean Ambrose gets a roll up win with some help from Seth Rollins. Daniel Bryan got Kane a rematch with Randy Orton tonight. Bryan is the guest ref.

My boy Dolph Ziggler hits the ring without AJ Lee or Big E Langston. He is taking on Jinder Mahal to pick up an easy win. Mahal does have his clowns with him. The crowd is not behind my boy. Zig Zag. Slater & McIntyre try to attack Ziggler. He uses some flashy moves to get some support and to knock out 3MB.

Brad Maddox finally shows up. Vickie Guerrero is talking about the McMahons when HHH shows up. He gives her more advice. I can’t wait to be snoozed asleep by the other members of the family. The WWE knows how to make a video package.

Kane and Randy Orton are ready to hook it up. I’m glad Daniel Bryan is wearing the ref pants and not his trunks. Bryan rings the bell because Randy Orton put his hands on him. Kane talks Bryan into restarting it. Bryan holds back Orton. Kane gives Orton a big boot. Bryan ends up quick counting for Kane. Bryan & Kane argue. Kane lets go of the choke slam grip. RKO on Bryan. JBL kills me by calling Bryan Rasputin. Interesting character. I’m a bit bummed his assassination is being debunked. It did always sound too brutal to be true.

Paul Heyman and CM Punk talk a little bit about trust. Curtis Axel gets to stand there and look pretty.

Continue reading

Terry Taylor is a heterosexual

zg60_57_zps45a1ddc2

In addition to being a true, loyal, trustworthy friend and a real, ambitious go-getter who can embrace a bad situation and make the best out of it, Terry Taylor is also very very heterosexual. The proof is in this here picture. – Dusty

%d bloggers like this: