Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Oblivion (2013)

WEK_Oblivion_0419Normally these reviews avoid spoilers but in talking about everything wrong with “Oblivion” it is near impossible. What an absolute let down.  The movie trailer was pretty much perfect. It didn’t give much away. It featured a lot of Tom Cruise and had plenty of mystery. Then you watching this garbage movie and realize the trailer was just as disjointed and confusing as this movie.  So aliens come to Earth and battle people and start mining the planet for power or something. It is incredibly obvious from the first scene that the humans did not win the war and the aliens are manipulating Tom Cruise and his companion. The timeline does not lend itself to the technological advances and as soon as you see the computer commander, you realize she is the bad guy.  But that isn’t enough. Tom Cruise has dreams of a different life even though his memories had been erased. They are of a strange woman and he proposes to her in a romantic fashion. So you get this added relationship and romantic entanglements that are totally unnecessary. Why are his memories erased? Who knows? As it turns out Tommy is actually a clone and everything he knows is not as he was told or something.  Wait, yes I did say he was a clone. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. The movie makes no sense and has zero drama. Morgan Freeman is there because he is Morgan Freeman and apparently Ernie Hudson’s voice wasn’t smooth enough.  What an absolute waste of two hours.  -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Reviews: The Last Stand (2013)

The-Last-Stand-2013_1920x1080“The Last Stand” may be one of the worst marketed movies ever. If you caught the trailer the movie looked like a screwball action comedy and that couldn’t be further from the finished product. Johnny Knoxville is in the film but his part is so miniscule it boggles the mind why he was such a focus in the advertising. What you get with “The Last Stand” is a throwback to old Arnold Schwarzenegger movies such as Commando, Predator and The Running Man. It is full of violence, goofy tag lines and action. It was fun seeing old Arnold going back to what made him famous. The old man still has it and he knows how to carry an action flick even at his age. This was an absolutely enjoyable flick and well worth catching. -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

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All right now be honest; when you saw the title of this post you immediately thought or said “ yuck.” This is totally acceptable as every trailer for this movie made it look incredibly stupid. I will gladly agree with that sentiment but this movie was fun. Yes the plot is straight up Die Hard in the White House but after that it is a solid action flick. Gerard Butler is best in action movies and he is at his best here. He plays his role with totally sincerity. The movie is totally devoid of any wink or nod to how redundant his situation is. There are no convoluted plot twists. The bad guys are evil and the good guys are good. The movie breaks no new ground but it rolls by at a brisk pace. It was also full of bloody violence that is missing from action movies now. While violence isn’t a prerequisite in film snow it should be in action movies. Bloodless violence is nauseating and “Olympus Has Fallen” makes sure you see the consequences of bullets to the chest, head and legs. Overall, it is just a fun movie to watch.  -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Death Race 2 (2010)

death-race-2The remake of Death Race is a lot of fun. It may not be the greatest flick but it is pure Statham. Death Race 2 is actually a prequel as it deals with the origin of Frankenstein and just how he came to be. Ving Rhames’ stature continues its decline as he has a small part as the evil misogynistic corporate man. Joan Allen has been replaced by The Walking Dead’s own Lauren Cohan as evil female corporate lady. This certainly won’t be at the top of her resume. The film is total camp and if it was made in the 70’s we may possibly be hailing it as grindhouse magic.  -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Spring Breakers (2012)

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What should you expect from a movie directed by Harmonie Korine? If you want your typical girl road comedy go elsewhere. Don’t bother at all. The movie is an ode to excess. Drugs, booze, naked females, drugs, half naked females, guns, money, greed, power, seduction, faith control; you name it you’ll find it in this flick. Everything in the movie is as heightened as much as possible. Then the movie stops and starts all over again. It is entirely out of the blue in comparison to the first half of the movie. I don’t know if it was good or bad but it certainly isn’t boring. If that doesn’t wet your appetite, it even has a surprise cameo by Jeff Jarrett as a preacher of sorts. -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: World’s Greatest Dad (2009)

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World’s Greatest Dad was Robin Williams transition movie back in to respectable cinema after a far too long period of garbage family movies.  If you didn’t see it that is most likely due to its small release and subject matter. If you watch the preview, well, don’t. In no way does it represent the movie. The trailer is made for mass appeal but once you watch it becomes apparent you got bamboozled. This is yet another Bobcat Golwdwaith film that just kills. It is honest and not predictable. It is easily the best of Bobcat’s movies and probably the most accessible but that isn’t saying much. His films never fail to challenge the audience. You may not like them but you will have a reaction. The movie carries on a near perfect tone of angst and anguish while making you uncomfortable laughing at situations you normally wouldn’t. It was a brave choice for Robin Williams after all of the family fair he churned out. It works though. Everything about this movie is sold and worth the very quick ninety-minute running time. -Jeremy

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Lovelace (2013)

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Yeah cool it on the praise.

Lovelace is the story, well stories, of Linda Lovelace; you know, the star of the 70’s porn classic Deepthroat. I will suggest that if you don’t know either the movie or the actress to put your safe search filter to high unless you want a lot of still shots from the movie.  Amanda Seyfried and Peter Sarsgaard carry the bulk of the movie very well as they play, essentially, two totally different people. They play the same people but the change in tone and perspective allowed them both to explore the opposite spectrums of their characters. This is where the movie loses its way. By not choosing one perspective of truth or even mixing the both fact and fiction directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman leave it up to the viewer to make their own decisions. What they lost by doing this is the cultural relevance of Linda Lovelace. By concentrating on two narratives there is no clear narrative to be had. Maybe this was intended as Lovelace’s account of her life has been disputed. There is no resonance for what she meant to a culture. They concentrate on Deepthroat’s impact and only give a brief mention to her place in that mini sexual revolution.  There just seems to have been much more potential than what was put on screen.  – Jeremy

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