WWE Diva arrested: Most likely guilty as hell

UPDATE: So in the past 24 hours or so, Emma has been fired and then reinstated by WWE. A quote from WWE.com:

Upon further evaluation, WWE has reinstated Tenille Dashwood (WWE Diva Emma) but will take appropriate punitive action for her violation of the law.

So I’m sure this will be some sort of humiliating act that takes place on Raw where Emma is dunked in chocolate pudding or one of my other fantasies.

P.S. WWE loves to reinstate people. First Macho Man Randy Savage, now Emma. At least they didn’t hold Emma in abeyance. -Eric

According to a report at Between the Ropes everyone’s favorite dancing Diva, Emma, has been arrested. Kind of shocking really but making the story better is the fact she was busted for lifting an Ipod case. Wait a minute; they even make Ipod cases any longer? Unfortuantly for Emma it is clear she is guilty as hell. What defense can she possibly use? No one that looks like Emma shops at  Wal-Mart. The proof, well, see below. Continue reading

Stunt Granny Presents: We Watch Stuff Podcast #5

There are no firm rules for this podcast so talking about wrestling is just something that will happen from time to time. But first Shahid and Jeremy talk about the opening weekend for Transformers: Age of Extinction. Did Shahid like it and if so how when nearly no one else did? Yeah a lot of people watched t but have you seen those review scores? Sheesh. Anyway, why did one studio call out Paramount as being huge liars? Is that reaction even warranted? What was the deal with Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown anyway? Who the hell though that was a good idea? How was the Money In The Bank match for our hosts? Who had the bump of the match? Was there anything shocking at all? Who was the MVP of the show? All of these questions are answered all you have to do is listen.

 

Stunt Granny Audio #260

From breakdanceworld.com

From breakdanceworld.com

After a break from talking to each other, Jeremy & Kevin are back to talk wrestling. Except that they start talking about Jeremy’s receiver and X Box problems. Did Kevin see the commercial that has caused X Box owners problems? Is that how they transitioned to talking about the studio analysts of the World Cup? What makes them different from other commentators on TV? Why did they start adding so many talking heads to College Game Day? Who does Jeremy want to get the boot? Speaking of people getting the boot, there is speculation that Josh Matthews is out of a job with the WWE. Did he ever get a fair shake? How long did he announce Smackdown? Why did Michael Cool take his spot? Do your hosts think he is finally doing a good job? How vanilla has he gotten? Does he even do play by play any more? Why did a Josh Matthews conversation turn into Michael Cole conversation? Kevin moves on to clarify his article about ROH changing world champions from Adam Cole to Michael Elgin. But this clarification turns the conversation into a talk about TNA’s bizarre decision to remove the belt from Eric Young? Why would they do it right before his television appearances for “No Limits” on Animal Planet? What style of booking led to TNA winning at Slammiversary but then dropping the belt at the next Impact Wrestling? Do the guys talk themselves into saying that Eric Young is the best option as champion in TNA? Find out the answer to that question and more when you click on the link below.

#RingOfHonor Is Second Best

dry-tortugas-florida-keys

Dry Tortugas in the Florida Keys from nationalparkguides.com

I didn’t watch “Best In The World” but I did read the results on Prowrestling.net. I only care about one match result and that is Michael Elgin beating Adam Cole for the ROH World Title. This result is so logical that they automatically jump ahead of TNA in competency with it alone.

Michael Elgin has been built up on two previous occasions. He won the Survival of the Fittest Tournament in 2011 which allowed him to have a shot at Davey Richards. Elgin came up short against Richards in a match that many people who watched it called a five star match. Elgin was not expected to win that match. It was his coming out party. Elgin then beat Adam Cole to get his first true shot at the ROH World Title. He took on Kevin Steen at Glory By Honor XI: The Unbreakable Hope. He was built up enough on TV that they used his nickname “Unbreakable” in the title. He lost to Steen.

Elgin then had his second crack at the title coming when Jay Briscoe got injured and had to surrender the title. Elgin was entered in as one of the favorites. After getting to the finals of the tournament, he was defeated by Adam Cole at Death Before Dishonor XI in September 2013. If you haven’t listened to any of the podcasts in which I’ve trumpeted Adam Cole then I can direct you to written forms of that opinion here, here and here. Much like Jason Powell, in some ways I didn’t want to see the strap removed from Cole’s waist. I brought up the month of his title reign because Cole had the belt for eight months. That is plenty long enough to establish your young star.

Michael Elgin got a shot in a three way match with a returning Jay Briscoe against Adam Cole for the title. Everyone who watches wrestling knows that the champion has a 99% chance of winning because his two opponents always turn on each other. I’d discount that chance also. Elgin then had to stew while a returning Chris Hero got a shot then Jay Briscoe got his one on one shot. Elgin then got the build up again on TV. ROH ended the Elgin build up by airing the assault Cole and Mike Bennett along with Maria Kanellis on their hype show on Saturday. That was another small positive about “Best In The World”, they aired it on Sunday like a professional wrestling organization should. That made the hype show more effective than airing it the same day and sometimes after the Saturday scheduled PPVs. Back to the beat down, Cole & Bennett zip tied Elgin to the ropes and cut his hair. ROH tried to market the mullet but it was still a horrendous choice because Elgin is balding. Cutting Elgin’s hair was another correct move. MsChif came out to make the save. We found out is Elgin’s wife while Cole denigrated both of them. Cole then gave her a choice to kiss him or watch her husband get assaulted. MsChif spit on Cole. He then decided instead of attacking Elgin to slap the Figure Four on MsChif while Bennett held her arms down. It makes Cole look like an absolute dick but I don’t like that aspect of the angle. I know she can take it but it doesn’t look good. The angle was made worse by security showing up after Cole let go of the hold. Cole should have beaten down Elgin.

TNA was in charge of a similar scenario twice, with James Storm and Bobby Roode. Roode was hyped through out the Bound For Glory Series only to lose to Kurt Angle in the Finals. To make matters worse, TNA decided to give the title to Storm on the next Impact Wrestling show after BFG. Roode recovered when he turned heel on Storm by breaking a beer bottle over Storm’s head to capture the TNA World Title. Roode went on to have the longest title reign in TNA history. James Storm had a couple of months off then came back to TNA with much video build up of him working on his farm. Storm didn’t win the TNA Title after the BFG series the next year because Roode cost him a match against Bully Ray in the semi-finals. Storm got the better of Roode at BFG but didn’t get the title because it had been won by Austin Aries. Storm later won a three man match with Roode and A.J. Styles. Storm then lost his contendership on the next episode of Impact. Storm has never recovered in the two following years.

If Michael Elgin had lost against Cole again, I fear that he would become James Storm. Elgin would have been hyped up too many times to believe that he can win the big match. ROH did the right thing though and put the strap on Elgin so that he can become Bobby Roode. – Kevin

3MB is now a One Man Band, Baby!

Heath Slater

I’m sure localbozo.com doesn’t care if I use his screen grab.

I suppose this is what you get when you cannot handle the Shield for the boss? WWE has released two more competitors (see, keeping with WWE protocol) as Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre received the bad news today.  So just like that the fourth strongest faction in WWE has been destroyed.

WWE sure seems bent on breaking up their factions outside of The Wyatt Family so far. Seth Rollins turned on The Shield. Evolution saw the departure of Dave Batista. Now, they couldn’t break them up so they had to fire two-thirds of the Three Man Band.

Out of the three members, (Hornswoggle doesn’t count as he is a mascot) Jinder Mahal was the blank slate. He never caught on. His only shining moment came on Total Divas when Eva Marie mispronounced his name. Maybe that should have been the first hint that you needed to do some extra work to be a household name for WWE fans?

Drew McIntyre is a weird case of being elevated much too soon and then falling off. He may have sabotaged his chances by fighting with his wife, Taryn Terrell, a few years back. Taryn was arrested after the “domestic incident” but the damage was done. His push ended and he disappeared. If you can’t keep your woman in line you aren’t going anywhere in WWE. You cannot place the WWE in a bad position or you suffer the consequences. Even divorcing  the woman will not matter. His career in WWE never recovered but he certainly made the best of his spot in 3MB. He stood out while Jinder faded away.  Let’s be frank here, no one is going to overshadow heath Slater.

So all the best to the both of these men.  Seriously, good luck out there. -Jeremy

Uh Oh, It Is @WWE Release Day.

game-of-thrones

Spoiler alert!

It is axe day for WWE as six World Wrestling Entertainment competitors found out.  Apparently once you are released you are no longer classified as a superstar, you are now a competitor; interesting. (UPDATE: This has been changed to Superstars on wwe.com) Using updates from WWE.com and Prowrestling.net, WWE has parted ways with Brodus Clay, Teddy Long, Camacho, Evan Bourne, Curt Hawkins, Aksana and Yoshi Tatsu.  Without reading the headline I hit up Kevin and made a guess. I named Yoshi, Aksana and Curt Hawkins the rest couldn’t have been more wrong. The fact I was having a hard time remembering most of the lower tier talent goes along with the non-surprise involved in these releases.

When you name the title of your post “Six notable talent cuts” shouldn’t at least one of the names be considered notable? Teddy Long hasn’t been on TV in quite a while and I believe Shahid and I discussed his whereabouts not too long ago. Teddy isn’t what you would be considered a young man so this could be a mutual decision. Regardless it is in WWE’s best interest ad they have a glut of authoritative characters on their programming despite the recent on air firings and changes.

Brodus Clay is a stumper, not for the fact he has been released but the very fact he made the most of a dumb gimmick and made money out of it. Wouldn’t WWE be interested in keeping someone with that sort of talent? The Funkasaurus gimmick was perfect for the kids. It was goofy enough that the usually sullen and angry internet audiences eventually came around due to his catch phrases and Naomi’s ass.

Naomi

pop-break.com

The more the character got over the less he appeared on television. He then went through a terrible heel turn and disappeared. He made a final appearance in NXT and that was it. Poof, gone. The argument can be made that he should have been used as a bad ass monster and it will be valid. A confusing career in WWE though is over for now with potential still remaining.

Here is the mean part of this all; Camacho, Evan Bourne, Curt Hawkins and Yoshi Tatsu; farewell. As a fan they never connected. As a business none of them fit above the jobber position outside of Evan Bourne. They were all bland outside of Evan Bourne who wouldn’t stop smoking pot and then repeatedly was injured. He had profitable look and gimmick and it was all for nothing.  Yoshi Tatsu may have been good in the ring but as history dictates, without a mouthpiece a foreign wrestler does not go far. Fair or not that is how WWE conducts business.

Poor, poor Aksana she deserved much better.  After her Monday night it seemed like there was something up. She seemed genuinely surprised by what happened. Maybe she is that good of an actress or maybe it was a rib on her. Regardless she was a barely utilized talent as well. I will miss her even if she was but a whisper on WWE programming. She had a different look than the other Divas. She had a feminine if muscular look and those eyes. Oh those eyes.

Apparently more cuts are coming. Sheesh, this hasn’t happened in a while.   -Jeremy

WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #257

Did you ever wonder which comedy shows Jeremy and Kevin watch? You’ll know now because they kicked off the show talking about FX and FXX. If you’re going to anchor a new comedy channel, shouldn’t your two biggest comedies, Archer & Louie, be on FXX? What specific problem does Kevin have with viewing shows on this station?  Why was Legit with Jim Jefferies canceled after this last season? It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gets to stick around for another three years but is it because of their length of airing on FX? Why is Wilfred still on FX? Or is it? The guys finally talk Raw as Jeremy watches Luke Harper in the main event. How many times can he sing Harper’s praises? When will it stop being a surprise that Harper is having good matches? Why is it that the youth movement isn’t young? How young is Harper? How about Bray Wyatt? Why do the women seem to be younger as a group than the men? Jeremy & Kevin move on to some slightly old news by talking about the stock drop analysis from Aaron Taube of Yahoo! Why does it sound like nothing they’ve read before? What parts of the article are untrue? Could he have done more research for his article?  Are the commentators helping prove the writer’s point? Would blood make the WWE more profitable? Who spends more money on merchandise? What gem of a comment did Jeremy end with? Why would any wrestling fan want the WWE to go down in flames? Do you really want ROH to be the best company in the US? To finish up the show, the guys talk about the 25th Anniversary of Roadhouse. Find out how great Patrick Swayze is when you click on the link below. Don’t worry, the pain in your ears won’t hurt.

 

#RingOfHonor Is The Second Worst

usmilitary.about.com

usmilitary.about.com

Since TNA/Impact Wrestling has wrestled the crown of worst promotion from the very incapable hands of Ring of Honor, I wasn’t sure if I could continue doing this column. I will try to talk about the positives  but I already know it’s not going to last long. Simple solution. When they do more than 50% positive in a show, I’ll call it “ROH is Second Worst”, if not it will resume it’s former name of “ROH is the Worst.”

Tomasso Ciampa had a quality match with Roderick Strong, who continues to look better than he had for the last year and a half. 2014 has been sharp for him from what I’ve seen aside from not knowing how to take the Styles Clash. ROH has highlighted the ongoing feud between Cedric Alexander and The Decade, which consists of Strong, Jimmy Jacobs, BJ Whitmer and lackey Adam Page. Alexander interfered in Strong’s match and cost him the victory. They ended up fighting after the match which I’m not a big fan of since they are fighting at the next pay per view. On a positive note, they have fought recently (last week if memory serves) so they weren’t giving away anything we haven’t seen before. Having people cost their adversary a victory is in the Booking 101 hand book. Good on ROH.

Silas Young versus The Romantic Touch was good for what it is. The Romantic Touch is mildly amusing character so he lost to the more serious Young. Silas isn’t going to be moving up the ladder any time soon but he had a quality feud with Mark Briscoe early this year. He should and did get the win over the comedy act. ROH is 2 for 2.

Kevin Steen‘s claim for the World Title is a very valid one since he never got a rematch for his title. Playing a video package to recap this feud is what you should be doing. I never said wrestling was rocket science.

Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly cut a quality promo against the Young Bucks. I could have used without Kyle O’Reilly drinking casually out of a coffee mug but he was fine when he spoke. Bobby Fish really delivered and made me like this short promo.

Jimmy Jacobs taking on Corey Hollis was another example of The Decade going after younger wrestlers and disrespecting them. Jacobs did his part by not shaking hands with Hollis. The Decade also debuted a new lackey, Tadarius Thomas. I’m not sure that ROH needed to add anyone else to the ranks of the Decade because four seems to be a good limit. I’m also not sure what they have in mind so I’ll give the angle some time. Jacobs ended up winning the match without interference, which is another good choice by ROH. If The Decade wants to maintain their disdain of younger wrestlers, they need to beat them first so that the crowd rallies behind Cedric Alexander and whoever else they have help to dismantle The Decade.

Michael Elgin versus Rocky Romero was a good quality main event. It wasn’t anything special but much like the Touch vs Young match, the correct person won in Michael Elgin, which isn’t a given in ROH. They gave Romero enough offense to not look bad but had Elgin win fairly handily. Quality show for ROH all around. Maybe I’ll start calling them Second Best if this keeps up. – Kevin

@RingOfHonor Is The Worst

conversations.nokia.com

conversations.nokia.com

I haven’t reported on Ring of Honor recently because they have done anything blatantly offensive recently. They haven’t exactly been hitting their show out of the park either. I’ll take the improvement to mediocre. After I came back from a Wrestlemania, I was giving my parents the run down of all things not wrestling and watched ROH on mute. It was a Road Rage edition so it was iPPV worthy material. The opening segment didn’t get my dander up but figured I may as well lay out my observations. The  second match was what led me to writing this article. I’ll get into those reasons below.

Chris Hero vs Roderick Strong – I’m starting to wonder how close Chris Hero was close to being called up to the main roster in the WWE. I’ve seen two or three matches and none of them have blown me away. The other match I know I saw was with Adam Cole, who I do enjoy both in the ring and on the mic. Roderick Strong usually has good matches in ROH. Hero hasn’t blown me away in either match. He doesn’t seem as athletically gifted as anyone called up recently. Hero looks like he’s going through the motions since he’s stuck back where he started. Maybe it’s dawning on him that he blew it in the WWE by not getting into shape, but I don’t think that’s the case since he still isn’t in shape for a guy who is 6′-4″ and 225. Bray Wyatt gets away with extra weight because he uses it to his benefit in the ring by showing off his agility and that spear/body block move he does. It’s hard to take advantage of being a thin tall guy without muscle tone and a baby gut. If you’re going to disobey a WWE edict, you better have something special to back it up. So far in his ROH run, Hero hasn’t shown me that something special.

The Young Bucks vs ReDRagon – Let’s start with the positives in this match. I have never been fond of The Young Bucks persona but I have enjoyed them in the ring. reDRagon is another act that I enjoy in ROH, both in the ring and on the mic despite how little time they’ve been given. Matt Jackson did have a cast on his right hand which limited him in this match but they worked around it fairly well. The main problem with this match was the ending, which ending in typical ROH style. Kyle O’Reilly was taking on Matt. Jackson whacked O’Reilly with his cast on the head while his brother Nick distracted the referee. O’Reilly kicked out which is ridiculous. Then the Young Bucks nailed their finishing move on O’Reilly, who kicked out again. O’Reilly quickly recovered from both of these devastating shots and went to lock in a triangle choke. Matt reversed it into a jack knife pin and got the win for the Tag Team Titles. So O’Reilly felt good enough to lock in his finisher but not good enough to kick out out a jack knife pin? ROH finishes are the worst.

The other problem with this match was called out during it. Forever Hooligans had not been on TV before they defeated the American Wolves last year. Kevin Kelly remind us of this event. The Young Bucks have been gone for months, if not over a year since their last TV appearance. reDRagon has defended the belts against all comers and defeated them. So like the American Wolves, reDRagon lose the titles to people who basically aren’t part of your product. I’m not a big fan of the booking. Have the Young Bucks at least win a contenders match before capturing the straps. The other comparison that could be made is that Forever Hooligans then left shortly after winning and then losing their titles to reDRagon. Wouldn’t it have been more effective to have the American Wolves beat Forever Hooligans then losing the straps to reDRagon? Not title hot potato and both of your acts look better than someone you brought in for two tapings at the most. ROH booking is the worst too.

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