Stunt Granny Audio #197

Sweet Jesus this has to be a special occasion as Stunt Granny presents Stunt Granny Audio Show #197: The Asshole Edition. Yes, that’s right it is Eric and Jeremy bringing all sorts of opinions that you won’t agree with at all. Well too bad, the boys discuss Eric’s plan to sell his Masters of the Universe figures. Is now a good time or should he wait for the movie? They also discuss WWE firing Abraham, Washington and why it was totally justified. They then take great joy in the comic stylings of Brian Jossie. Wait, did Stunt Granny join Tout? What the hell did Kevin Nash do this week to be discussed and how does he tie in to CM Punk and Kurt Angle. Not to be left out Ring of honor takes a beating as does their champion Kevin Steen. Why? Why would we do this? Well, all you have to do is listen.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #197

Stunt Granny Audio #196

This week it’s a three man booth as Eric, Kevin and Dusty combine their resources to discuss the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. While Dusty was the only person on earth who enjoyed Booker T’s commentary, the trio all agree that it is for the best for him to move on to being the general manager on Smackdown. They also talk about just how bad ROH is lately, with their unique brand of fat guys in t-shirts wrestling for belts that mean nothing, and Jim Cornette seemingly losing the magic touch by the day. They also turn their attention to TNA, and agree that it has largely been actually good lately, with one glaring, crack addled elephant in the room preventing perfection. All this and so much more, so spare an hour of your life, because while you probably *will* regret it, they want you to and have mob connections, so you’ll be forced to eventually anyway.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #196

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I’m running on five hours of sleep. It took me a bit longer to get back to Columbus than I would have liked. Mostly my fault so I don’t have anyone to blame but the guy behind the lap top. Oh well, that should make this review a bit more interesting than normal. Let’s roll.

I must have been the guy setting up the pyro rig. Time to FF already. I’m glad I tape this puppy already. CM Punk comes out and gets mostly cheers until he grabs a mic. He talks about Lawler’s closing words. Punk does a fantastic job explaining himself and why he attacked the Rock. The Big Show comes out to stick his big nose into the business. Lawler is flabbergasted. Why? Explain yourself. I tune out Show because even with his renewed push, he’s a joke. He may have finally had a Wrestlemania moment but it’s been all down hill since then. The heel turn may have put a little spice on his resume going heel but that is about it. John Cena attacks Big Show who dumps out of the ring. AJ Lee then comes out in a mini-Stephanie McMahon woman’s power outfit. Winner of Show vs Cena gets Punk at Summerslam. Wait, did a GM just make a match and leave? Should I have hope? Not yet.

Daniel Bryan goes to the GM door and walks away. Santino Marella comes to the ring. I FF thru Alberto Del Rio‘s entrance. I guess they couldn’t find an expensive car in Cincy. What, you’re expecting a joke out of me? Too many to chose from. Why are these two guys getting a commercial break match? Del Rio slaps on the arm bar shortly after the break. The match should have ended before the break. Del Rio isn’t competing because everyone is beneath him. Thank you WWE for doing something right. Bryan is still waiting at the door.

I FF thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. I do listen to Vickie Guerrero. The dance is terrible, not in a good way. Damien Sandow interrupts because someone who isn’t over needs more screen time. I do like Sandow’s offense except for his weak ass finisher. We get a long camera shot of him because the WWE has no idea what to do with three hours of TV. They review Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Jericho.

Bryan finally goes into AJ‘s office. He starts to run her down then she stops him in his tracks. She is the only person to re-watch Raw. AJ gives him a clean slate by booking a match with Sheamus for him. More review of HHH & Brock Lesnar because the WWE has no idea what to do with three hours. Sheamus is fine with whatever stipulations versus Bryan, as he should be. Bryan is starting his de-push.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I got my new DVR set up for baby momma drama since he has a 49″ TV in the basement. I barely got the dogs walked in time to start this blog on time. Since they’re in Las Vegas, instead of showing one of the casinos, I’m going to give you the product that the Venetian is modeled after. Welcome to the Doge’s Palace in Venice, Italy. Enough babbling, at least from me. Let’s roll.

CM Punk gets a victory speech. Hmm, would not have remembered that Punk made the speech in Vegas. Big Show interrupts him. Show gives him his speech since changing to a heel. Punk replies with Cody Rhodes speech from the build up to Wrestlemania. Any one can say that they’re going to be the one to beat up the champ that will cost them the belt. I will not be watching the first Raw on Youtube.

I’m glad Mitchell pointed out that the Primetime Players didn’t look that way last night. I had forgotten the other two were the champs. I’m trying to remember who used the manager mic last time around. I’m happy for the commercial break so that I can finish eating dinner. I choose to clean while the cable guy was here instead of eating. Damn it, one more piece. I thought the mic gig was funny the last time. Abe is not doing the trick for me. I look at Twitter for five seconds and Truth pins O’Neil for the win. Abe flips out for some reason. AJ is texting when Daniel Bryan comes into the picture. Bryan is apologizing when Eve Torres interrupts. She tries to be saucy.AJ backs away from Goat Boy but still lets him kiss her cheek. Looks like she’s off the Punk scent.

Alberto Del Rio takes on Zack Ryder. Is this a get heat back match or is Ryder starting to go in the right direction? Del Rio wins in a squash match. Fabulous. Rey Mysterio makes a reappearance. I had pretty much forgotten about him. Rey dials up a 619. I think Del Rio’s feud with him was the only time I liked ADR. Why is Cool welcoming Rey back? He’s a baby face. You should hate him for attacking Del Rio unprovoked.

Heath Slater is in the ring when we come back from commercial. Rikishi is this week’s “legend”. He gets a solid response. Bansai Drop for the win. Rinse, repeat. And we get a dance routine with the Usos. The response is not as good as the Funkasaurus.

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@WWE Roster Game Special

The choices weren’t always easy.

This is a very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio, folks, because in this one Eric, Kevin and Dusty join forces to play the illustrious WWE Roster Game! For those not familiar, this is the game where the Stunt Granny-ites go to the roster page on WWE.com and pare the roster down, with the logic being they would be operating a weekly two hour show every week and they can fill their roster however they see fit in order to have the best company possible and make the most money possible. Because WWE.com changed their roster page format, this time the guys have 18 lines of 5 wrestlers each to pick from, and they pick 2 wrestlers from each line, for a total of 36 pieces of talent. Who do they keep? Who do they kick to the curb? Which were the easiest choices? Who were the most agonizing omissions? How many e’s does Justin Roberts put in Mr Cena’s first name? For all these answers and more, you can only find out by listening, so for god’s sake do it.

Stunt Granny Audio Show WWE Roster Game 2012

Great Khali sings “Happy Birthday” (kinda) to John Cena, Michael Cole slips in timely Lilian Garcia joke

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for unearthing this gem. Essentially, the clip speaks for itself at about the 26-second mark, but the majority of the WWE roster wished John Cena a happy birthday last night after WWE Monday Night Raw went off the air, with the highlight being Great Khali singing “Hahpee Bahday” to the former champ. No, the highlight was not Triple H unhilariously forcing him to do it, and no, the highlight was not a fat midget dressed up like a fat regular person. And no, the highlight wasn’t even developmental call-ups like Damien Sandow, Antonio Cesaro (with unlimited soup) and soon-to-be two-time flop Abraham Washington standing there with their tongues up Cena’s ass. Just a simple song from the enlarged heart of a 7-foot contorted man-monster. It’s like “Harry and the Hendersons” but bad. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I’m running late because Jeremy, his woman and I went out to eat at the Winking Lizard. We grabbed some good beers, more on that later, and some forty cent wings. Now that I’m properly nourished and lubed up, let’s roll.

Johnny Wooden GM gets to talk the peons until CM Punk walks in. Johnny books Mark Henry versus CM Punk. People Power Era. Solid interaction between him and Punk. I was thinking it’d be really funny if HHH just came out and fired Johnny tonight. Not going to happen because nothing is more brilliant than yet another evil GM. The Rock shows up. This crowd is already livelier than last night’s crowd. I’m talking as the Rock does because he’s going nowhere quick. It’s coming. I fear it. Trying to be patient. History is the only thing that matters, not the win or loss. He guarantees that this is just the beginning. You still can’t show up that often. The Rock milks his vision. Did this segment take up the first hour of Raw? He wants to be WWE champion. Not against CM Punk. John Cena fall out with special music.

Santino comes to the ring before the commercial break. Vickie Guerrero introduces Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler. Swagger & Ziggler are show boating too much. Are they going to cost each other the match? Commercial break. Great pacing. Santino has a brief come back. Dolph & Jack argue shortly there after. Now, Santino is way over, but does he make the US Championship important? Id’ say no. The Funkasaurus makes the save on the post match sashay away from the ring. Ziggler sells like a champ but I’m wondering if he bounced his head off the ramp at all. It’s cool that Brodus might be getting a story finally.

Lord Tensai making his debut. I’m a bit surprised. Almost forgot about him with all the names being tossed around this weekend. Alex Riley is the sacrificial lamb. The tattoo’s across the face are awesome. This squash is taking a while. Nice to show off his offense even if it’s slow. Choke Slam Bomb gets the ref to call the match. Oh no, it’s the claw. Did they bring him back to embarrass him? It is not helping that Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler have to pretend like they don’t know who he is when the crowd is chanting “A-Train”.

We get more review of Cena’s mental state before the match. They’re doing a good job of hyping this announcement up. CM Punk comes out first. Mark Henry plods to the ring. I love when the missed attempt hurts even though you fall the same when you connect on a drop kick. I love the “Yes Yes Yes” chants. It’s the best way to support Daniel Bryan. Henry talking trash is always funny. Punk turns a bear hug into a DDT. Mark Henry goes up the ropes for some unknown reason. Punk gets knocked down from a spring board clothesline before the commercial break. Nice flurry by Punk sets up an elbow. Of course Punk can’t capitalize. Punk got tossed out of the ring after a bulldog attempt. Henry wins by count out. World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. Johnny comes out. He sees a natural disaster coming for him. Chris Jericho has another gaudy jacket. Jericho has to say he doesn’t drink and drive. Am I watching a PSA? Jericho pours beer on him. Jericho is fancy, he uses bottled liquors. The bottle busts before it was even close to Punk’s head. Was it made out of ice? Good segment. I’m glad Mark Henry isn’t Punk’s next feud.

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Stunt Granny Audio #48

This came up on a Google image search for three way. Hmmm.

This came up on a Google image search for "three way." Hmmm.

As promised, the SG boys deliver an audio focusing on Florida Championship Wrestling and, specifically, the four wrestlers who were recently called up one more letter, from FCW to ECW. Dusty and Eric are joined by Jordan to talk about the look and feel of the FCW show’s presentation (even comparing it to OVW and older studio shows), the overall talent of the roster, and whether or not they believe Yoshi Tatsu, Abraham Washington, Sheamus and Tyler Reks were ready to be called up.

Stunt Granny Audio #48

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